Does Area 51 have aliens inside it?

Man, do I have an imagination or what? | 3/21/2023 | By Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

No. Let me explain:

Have you ever seen those pink coconut marshmallow cakes often found on convenience store shelves? If you get too many of them together in close proximity, they reach critical mass, just like enriched uranium will. The ensuing explosion creates tens of new pink coconut marshmallow cakes, per cake that detonates. This, in turn – when the cakes heat up again -- causes another explosion, which occurs a few hours. This is known by Military EOD specialists and specialized government teams (who are entrusted with the control or eradication of these outbreaks) as a Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cake Event, or a P.C.M.C.E.

In the effort to make these dangerous snacks more acceptable, Hostess renamed the product, from the "Dangerous Spontaneously Exploding Coconut Marshmallow Cakes" to the less-threatening "Sno-Balls".

If you have never heard of the nanobot "Grey Fog" scenario, let me explain it: If you release a nanobot that has, as its only purpose, the collection of raw materials to fashion more nanobots, who in turn create more nanobots, the entire planet will become a 'grey fog' of nanobots. Like the Nanobot 'Grey Fog' scenario, the pink coconut marshmallow cake self-perpetuating explosion is a very real, very serious problem. There are three cases of it, right now, that authorities are trying to control:

1. One, Area 51, was once a small sleepy town called Carlstown, until a convenience store clerk mistakenly placed four of the cakes in close proximity. In response the government quickly erected Area 51 to contain the crisis. To allay suspicion, the agency in charge spread rumors about UFOs, and called the Area a secret testing facility. So far -- until this expose' -- the secret has held.
   
   Another occurred in the 1980's in Chernobyl, Ukraine. Several boxes of pink coconut marshmallow cakes were smuggled from the West, but without proper instructions translated from English, the clerks allowed the cakes to sit in a warehouse without the proper lead shielding. Once the cakes erupted, the Ukrainian government tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe out the cakes by overloading a nuclear reactor. This effort was not successful, and now the Ukrainian government has millions of radioactive pink coconut marshmallow cakes.
   
   3. Finally, a PCMCE (actually, more accurately, a WCMCE) occurred in the south of France in 2011. This occurred with the white-colored version of the cake. The French authorities were able to airlift the entire convenience store to the Antarctic, where the increase in mass is mistakenly attributed to ice growth. Closer satellite observation reveals millions of tiny little white coconut marshmallow cakes, and somehow the outcome meshed well with their colloquial name: Sno-Balls.

This is a serious problem. We will need funding to contain it. Please lobby your Senator and Congressman to fund the PCMCE Containment fund today!

DO NOT ATTEMPT HANDLING THESE DANGEROUS CAKES ON YOUR OWN (WITHOUT PROPER TRAINING)!

[Lazamataz]

[Lazamataz]

It’s funny because it’s true!

[BipolarBob]

[DannyTN]

How many do I need to create an infinite supply?

[Lazamataz]

AND IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!

[gundog]

[Lazamataz]

How many do I need to create an infinite supply?

Eight. When you combine them at one location, they will go critical, causing a PMCME.

[OHPatriot]

Laz, I’m not sure about the explosive potential, but one time I had 4 of them in close proximity and I swear I heard them purring. A few hours later and there were 20+ of them.

I may have encountered the Tribble Variety.

[Jonty30]

Sugar Tribbles.

Just don’t get them wet or feed them after midnight.

[MeneMeneTekelUpharsin]

Some of y’all got too much time on your hands.

[RoosterRedux]

We all remember the epic rant of a person who smokes weed for the first time.

He (or she) starts off with the most imaginative ideas as his mind opens up. But then, in about 30 or 40 minutes when the munchies start to kick in, the mind-blown discourse about alternative states of consciousness turns to snacks.

That's where my imagination went when I read this piece.

[Lazamataz]

Some of y’all got too much time on your hands.

Too Much Time + A Vivid Imagination = This Sordid Mess of an Article.

[Lazamataz]

LOL!

[RoosterRedux]

I am fasting today and I assure you I will be thinking of pink coconut fillings for the rest of the day.;-)

[DannyTN]

Great! I’m going to order a case of Sugar Blockers, and then pick up an 8 pack of Sno-balls at the store.

Now if only there was meat that reached critical mass.

[DannyTN]

I can see why aliens would be attracted to Area 51. This could solve hunger and induce diabetes on many planets.

[MrHead]

The aliens are at Wright-Patterson in Ohio.
But you didn’t hear it from me.

[BipolarBob]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XcKBmdfpWs

[EvilCapitalist]

I thought the Klingons lived on Uranus?

[Army Air Corps]

Part of the “magic” of their multiplication is that they open a dimensional portal that allows them to tap into matter from outside the point that they occupy in space-time.