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Rep. Bowman Pulls Fire Alarm Again While Trying To Flush Urinal
BabylonBee.com ^ | 10-2-2023 | Bee Staff

Posted on 10/03/2023 8:38:45 AM PDT by servo1969

WASHINGTON, D.C. — New York Congressman Jamaal Bowman again found himself trying to explain away an awkward situation today, as he apparently once again pulled the Capitol fire alarm whilst attempting to flush a urinal.

"Oh my, is that what that does? I thought it was for the urinal," Bowman reportedly said when questioned by the Capitol Police. "I was just trying to get rid of my waste. Shaking hands with an old friend, you know? I thought pulling that lever would evacuate my urine from the receptacle. My mistake!"

Republican members of Congress and skeptical American citizens expressed doubt regarding Rep. Bowman's story. "Let me get this straight," Ohio Congressman Jim Jordan shouted. "First, he thought the fire alarm was a lever that would open the door of the Capitol complex, and today he thinks the fire alarm will empty the urinal after he drains his swamp? I'm not buying it! In fact, I'm launching a formal inquiry!"

When pressed for further explanation, Rep. Bowman continued to claim it was an innocent error. "I'm really going to have to plead ignorance on this one," he said. "It activates the fire alarm? Seriously? I thought it said ‘FIRE' on it in huge, clear letters to let anyone know how to clear out the urinal after a long session of Congress. I'm being honest here."

At publishing time, Rep. Bowman refused to confirm reports that the Washington, D.C. Fire Department has responded to his place of residence 4,785 times in the last six months.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: alarm; babylon; babylonbee; bowman; satire
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1 posted on 10/03/2023 8:38:46 AM PDT by servo1969
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To: servo1969

LOL, the damn thing pulls itself, Like Baldwins gun.


2 posted on 10/03/2023 8:42:32 AM PDT by 1Old Pro
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To: servo1969

It’s only a matter of time until he thinks one of them is an ATM.


3 posted on 10/03/2023 8:46:21 AM PDT by Telepathic Intruder
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To: servo1969

Thanks, Bee. Would make a good T-shirt!


4 posted on 10/03/2023 8:50:38 AM PDT by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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To: servo1969

Sitting in on a BB brainstorming session would probably be the most fun I’ve ever had...


5 posted on 10/03/2023 8:53:34 AM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: servo1969
... empty the urinal after he drains his swamp?

Ha!

6 posted on 10/03/2023 8:55:16 AM PDT by silent_jonny (Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin, Joe. The feet are at the door (Acts 5:9) 9-18-21)
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To: servo1969

Must have eaten too many Carolina reapers the day before.


7 posted on 10/03/2023 8:55:29 AM PDT by Getready (Wisdom is more valuable than gold and harder to find.)
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To: servo1969

Chinese fortune cookie: DOORS WILL OPEN IF YOU PULL FIRE ALARM.


8 posted on 10/03/2023 9:00:06 AM PDT by Fester Chugabrew (May I please have a government shutdown?)
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To: servo1969

How is he not ALREADY expelled from office???


9 posted on 10/03/2023 9:00:19 AM PDT by Mr. K (No consequence of repealing Obamacare is worse than Obamacare)
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To: servo1969

FLUSH

10 posted on 10/03/2023 9:02:19 AM PDT by servo1969
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To: servo1969

That burning sensation while peeing is not a fire.


11 posted on 10/03/2023 9:19:55 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: servo1969

That burning sensation while peeing is not a fire.


12 posted on 10/03/2023 9:20:47 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: servo1969

Then he huffed and puffed but could not blowout the light-bulb


13 posted on 10/03/2023 9:42:24 AM PDT by butlerweave
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To: servo1969

Bowman brings new meaning to Bovine Excrement.


14 posted on 10/03/2023 9:48:35 AM PDT by Rappini ("No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in it's preservation" MacArthr)
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To: servo1969

I imagine it must be so much fun to work at the Bee. 😂


15 posted on 10/03/2023 9:49:34 AM PDT by Allegra (Stop the Zeepers from Censoring FReepers)
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To: servo1969; Liz
When pressed for further explanation, Rep. Bowman continued to claim it was an innocent error. "I'm really going to have to plead ignorance on this one," he said. "It activates the fire alarm? Seriously? I thought it said ‘FIRE' on it in huge, clear letters to let anyone know how to clear out the urinal after a long session of Congress. I'm being honest here."

If anyone says Rep. Bowman is stupid or lying that person will be identified as 'racist' and will trigger full FBI and DOJ investigations... Our legal system knows who's dangerous (people who exercise free speech). The obvious 'white supremacist' will also be checked for nooses. bottles of bleach, and MAGA flags...

What a lovely country we live in ... Eff you Merrick Garland for your work creating a two tiered 'justice' system and a corrupt police state. And a place where such an obvious liar must be believed "or ELSE".. How many finger Winston?

16 posted on 10/03/2023 9:57:15 AM PDT by GOPJ (MSNBC bimbos and pretentious 'men': "THE ELITE " ARE NOT "THE 1%". MAGA's not Marxist/Class envy..)
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To: Allegra
I imagine it must be so much fun to work at the Bee. 😂

I think it would be one of the most difficult jobs, trying to craft satire that somehow stays ahead of the insane reality of this upside-down world. Not easy.

17 posted on 10/03/2023 9:57:19 AM PDT by noiseman (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.)
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To: servo1969

Now, THAT’S funny!😁


18 posted on 10/03/2023 10:11:43 AM PDT by telescope115 (I NEED MY SPACE!!! 🔭)
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To: telescope115

You can’t make this stuff up.


19 posted on 10/03/2023 10:31:53 AM PDT by Sam Clements (Z)
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To: servo1969

I’d be pleasantly surprised if’n he actually flushed at all.


20 posted on 10/03/2023 10:52:38 AM PDT by LastDayz (A blunt and brazen Texan. I will not be assimilated.)
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