Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Terrorists Decide Against Hijacking Plane After Realizing It's A Boeing
BabylonBee.com ^ | 3-13-2024 | Bee Staff

Posted on 03/13/2024 12:34:31 PM PDT by servo1969

U.S. — An attack by a cell belonging to a violent extremist group was averted last week, as terrorists decided against hijacking a plane after finding out it was made by Boeing.

The hijacking, which was allegedly planned to be carried out over the weekend, was called off at the last minute after the group of terrorists behind the plot discovered the flight they were targeting was a Boeing 737, which meant everyone on board — including the terrorists — would be in serious danger.

"We're not going anywhere near that deathtrap," said terrorist Abu Musab Alwani, who masterminded the planned attack. "We are very zealous for our faith and deeply committed to our cause of ridding our holy lands of crusading infidels, but have you seen the news lately? Parts of these planes are falling off in mid-air. These Boeing aircraft are simply not safe for hijacking."

Though officials with the Department of Homeland Security refused to make any official statements about the canceled terrorist attack, one insider confirmed the report on the condition of anonymity. "Yes, it's true," the source said. "They had spent months meticulously planning out every detail of the hijacking, but they weren't sure what make and model of aircraft it would be. Once they realized it was a Boeing plane, they chickened out. Way too high-risk."

When asked why they became resistant to hijack a Boeing plane, the terrorists said the decision was simple. "It's too unpredictable," Alwani said. "When we're going to hijack a plane and potentially kill ourselves and everyone on board, we want it to be our doing, not due to some horrible malfunction."

At publishing time, Alwani said the cell was still very much open to hijacking planes made by other manufacturers as long as the doors, wings, and wheels would stay on.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylon; babylonbee; boeing; hijacking; satire; terrorists

1 posted on 03/13/2024 12:34:32 PM PDT by servo1969
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: servo1969

NOW I understand why they built

the Boeing 737 Max series


2 posted on 03/13/2024 12:36:59 PM PDT by SaveFerris (Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the Days of Lot; They did Eat, They Drank, They Bought, They Sold ......)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

Boeing is exactly what America is at present, and has been for decades.


3 posted on 03/13/2024 12:39:54 PM PDT by Theoria
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

Let’s all hope Being fixes its problems. Air transportation is important. Lots of Boeing planes flying.


4 posted on 03/13/2024 12:46:32 PM PDT by plain talk
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

LOL!


5 posted on 03/13/2024 12:50:33 PM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PGalt; pookie18

6 posted on 03/13/2024 1:04:41 PM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

I almost fell for it!! ROFLOL


7 posted on 03/13/2024 1:26:54 PM PDT by Osage Orange (I miss Rush)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

Today’s Boeing could have prevented 9/11. Imagine Mohammed Atta taking off from Boston that morning only for it to crash land 20 miles outside the city.


8 posted on 03/13/2024 1:41:01 PM PDT by libh8er
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

The Bee could have bumped the humor up a notch by having one of the terrorists killed on the ground by a falling airplane part.


9 posted on 03/13/2024 2:09:08 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (Democrats' version of MAGA: Making America the Gulag Archipelago. Now with "Formal Deprogramming")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: libh8er

Mohammed Atta wouldn’t be able to operate the Maneuvering Characteristics Augmentation System.


10 posted on 03/13/2024 2:40:27 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

Good one.


11 posted on 03/13/2024 2:44:29 PM PDT by McGruff (Don't underestimate Joe's ability to f*** things up - Barack Obama)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

I think it was the “Every row is an exit row!” ad that got to them...


12 posted on 03/13/2024 2:48:15 PM PDT by Billthedrill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

The old saying “if it ain’t Boeing I ain’t going” is now changed to “if it’s Boeing I ain’t going”


13 posted on 03/13/2024 3:37:39 PM PDT by xp38
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: servo1969

I’m tough. I’m brave. I flew a 737 Max from Nashville to Orlando this week.


14 posted on 03/13/2024 4:06:29 PM PDT by JusPasenThru (25 years as a Freeper. Prepare to stune your beebers…)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson