Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Man sentenced for attack with porcupine feces
Muskegon Chronicle (Michigan) via mlive.com ^ | March 13, 2002 | Barton Deiters

Posted on 03/14/2002 7:43:52 AM PST by RippleFire

Man sentenced for attack with porcupine feces

Wednesday, March 13, 2002By Barton Deiters
CHRONICLE NEWS SERVICE


An unrepentant James Beal will spend 18 months in federal prison for throwing three 5-gallon buckets filled with porcupine feces, worms and parasites at workers in the Empire Post Office.

The 62-year-old pleaded guilty in December to three counts of assaulting federal employees for the Oct. 18 incident, which occurred the day after he was fired for unsatisfactory work.

U.S. District Judge Gordon Quist heard from victims Tuesday who told of the horror and disgust of being soaked with the fecal matter and the embarrassment of being the butt of jokes when the incident gained national attention, including a mention on "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno.

Wisecracks came from radio shows and people on the street. A local store even sold Empire Porcupine Poop candy to capitalize on the fame.

But the victims were not laughing.

"You felt like it was permeating your skin" said Tanis Lehmann, a visiting postmaster from Cedar who heard the screams of her female co-workers.

Beal already had soaked Postmaster Virginia Raz and clerk Lorna BonJernoor and was returning to the office with a third bucket. Lehmann said she stood 5 feet away from Beal trying to reason with him.

"I said 'Jim don't. Jim, don't,"' she said. She testified that Beal just glared at her then threw the fecal matter, drenching her from head to toe.

As the victims testified, Beal would smile and sometimes chuckle.

When Beal stood to speak he did not deny that he threw the feces, but said he had reason to do it. He said he was fired from the $7.70-per-hour job after less than a week for no good reason.

"This was an assault on my person," Beal said. "If my conduct was reprehensible, then their conduct was reprehensible.

"There is an equivalency."

Quist disagreed.

"If everybody could throw (feces) at people who've hurt their feelings, what kind of society would we live in?" Quist said.

The judge said far from being remorseful, Beal seemed to glory in the acts.

Quist used that criteria, in part, to justify deviating from sentencing guidelines, which would have called for a shorter sentence for the man with no criminal record.

In addition to the 18-month prison sentence, Quist ordered Beal to pay about $10,000 in fines, fees and restitution. Although Beal's attorney was paid by the government, Beal owns a $500,000 home and has another residence near Chicago as well as $40,000 in liquid assets and a $30,000 retirement fund.

Beal was also banned from the Empire Post Office and told to have no contact with the victims.

Beal's attorney asked that Beal be allowed to turn himself in at a later date. However, Quist instead had a federal marshal take Beal into custody immediately.

"He has a history of reacting badly to bad news," Quist said.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Humor; Outdoors; Pets/Animals; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: porcupines; standingbuckets
Much like the story about tasteful residents of sunny LA throwing buckets of urine at Britney Spears, this article begs the question: How many people have buckets of excrement ready to hand for situations like this?
1 posted on 03/14/2002 7:43:52 AM PST by RippleFire
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: RippleFire
I would understand keeping human poo around to throw at people, but where the heck do you get porcupine dung, and why is it any better?
2 posted on 03/14/2002 7:56:56 AM PST by Texaggie79
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PhiKapMom
I had to alert you to this article after yesterday's Brittany Spears post. Maybe we're the weird ones for not having a pail of excrement at hand at all times????
3 posted on 03/14/2002 8:12:00 AM PST by EODGUY
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RippleFire
How to Get Away from a Bear

If you are in the woods, and
a bear starts chasing you, hit
him in the face with a handful
of shit.

"Where am I going to get a
handful of shit?"

Just reach around behind
you, it'll be there.

4 posted on 03/14/2002 12:39:33 PM PST by gcruse
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RippleFire
Can I book this guy for an appearance at the DMV?
5 posted on 03/14/2002 1:45:47 PM PST by Excuse_My_Bellicosity
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Texaggie79
That's what I was thinking. I could see getting some dung from a porta-potty or cowpies from a pasture. Getting porcupine dung seems pretty labor-intensive to me.
6 posted on 03/14/2002 1:47:44 PM PST by Excuse_My_Bellicosity
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Excuse_My_Bellicosity
I guess their dedication deserves our respect.......
7 posted on 03/14/2002 1:53:48 PM PST by Texaggie79
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: RippleFire
Porcupines are little animals. How many porkys would one have to follow around to gather 15 gallons of porky-poo?
8 posted on 03/16/2002 3:26:20 PM PST by Tony in Hawaii
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RippleFire
What kind of people with $500,00 homes and lots of other assets end up working at the Post Office? And have 15 gallons of porcupine poo on hand. And settle for a public defender in court. This man needs to be put away by his family

So9

9 posted on 03/20/2002 1:15:42 PM PST by Servant of the Nine
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson