Tom Ridge has four color crayons and America has no Borders

Photo from the White House Website: Displays Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge standing in front of a large bulletin of a color chart, including RED for SEVERE, DARK-YELLOW for HIGH, LIGHT-YELLOW for ELEVATED, sort-of GRAY for GUARDED, etc... text reads:

Director of Homeland Security Tom Ridge presents the Homeland Security Advisory System to the media at Constitution Hall in Washington, D.C, March 12. "The advisory system is based on five threat conditions or five different alerts: low, guarded, elevated, high and severe," said Director Ridge. ". . .it empowers government and citizens to take actions to address the threat."

Tom Ridge has four color crayons and America has no Borders

Where is Afghanistan? Maybe it's in Michigan. Because, as we all found out in September, Afghanistan is everywhere and we have no borders. Afghanistan is on your next flight, maybe. You bought a ticket to what you thought was Cleveland. You didn't know, you really bought a ticket to Afghanistan. You didn't even know the name of the guy sitting next to you on the flight. If he had been Yasser Arafat, then maybe you would have known. But then, if it had been Yasser, you probably wouldn't have worried otherwise - in fact, if it was Yasser, no one in airport security would have bothered, or dared, to search him. And Yasser, personally, besides never flying on public airlines (too risky, some terrorist may try to blow the plane up or try to assault him or something), well Yasser wouldn't blow himself up, anyway - the Yasser's of the world never do. It's only the nameless, little Yassers. Only they do that. You won't know their name if they take you with them.

Where is Mexico? Bush knows. And even if Bush sold California to Mexico, I think the Bushies would insult and attack anyone who would criticize Bush for doing so. But that isn't the point, whether Bush knows where Mexico is. Because maybe Mexico is in Fresno, Condit County. Because there are no borders. And maybe America is Yugoslavia, and maybe Tom Ridge has four color crayons, and if today is the color Red, what is your role? Do you stay home from work?

Domestic security is now called Homeland security (is that homeland with a capital or undercase H?). And homeland security has become a "project", i.e. " … the color crayons in the small blue box from United Airlines found in the upper drawer of cabinet A and labeled exhibit 9 are to be mailed in the yellow pouch found in Post Master 12's delivery inventory to Tom Ridge Homeland Security Project Domestic Brief" …

This phase of the Project, all devolves down to four color crayons, green, blue, white and red, which can also be used to attempt to mix any of the four colors into another color. There is no crayon sharpener, so keep that in mind.

"Project" is a self-contained word which, in this case and very typical of the norm, may or may not be capable of elaboration because of the delicate balance between illegal aliens, the INS, terrorism, and Bush seeking the Hispanic vote. That's right. You see, the problem Tom Ridge has, is, Tom Ridge has four color crayons, green, blue, white and red, and he is working with a color scheme which can be confused with Bush's Project Green (the green light for illegal aliens), Project Blue (the INS question and student VISAs for terrorists and how to sound like you are disturbed about the INS while not insulting the Hispanic vote all in the same week you grant amnesty for what amounts to millions of illegal Mexican aliens), Project Red (the terrorist question in the context of what RINO focus groups tell you is doing for your public opinion polls using heat-beat metrics on a week by week vector), and of course the "other" Project, you know, the one about courting the Hispanic vote which is basically top secret and so it's color cannot be revealed to the unwashed of the Republican base but is definitely not White, and is such a mysterious consortium no one dares say one thing about it, for or (definitely not) against, or face the wrath of some very strange Bushies who keep a collection of photos of Laura and President Bush in a blue leather photo album.

So now you can understand just how complicated Mr. Ridge's project really is, and basically what you have is, you have terrorists, you have terrorists using lax immigration and no borders, you have terrorists and passenger airplanes. So Mr. Ridge has four color crayons, and the first thing you would figure would be that fundamental to homeland security would be borders, but, you know, there's the question of the Hispanic vote, and Tom Ridge is domestic, but Hispanic vote is executive, if you know what I mean; and executive is higher than domestic. As far as the INS is concerned, Tom Ridge is domestic, but blathering concerns about the INS all in the same week you give your blessings to amnesty for illegal aliens, well, that's executive. As far as airplanes, that's Norm "everybody is normal but everybody is suspect and nobody is more suspect than anybody else" Mineta's job, not Tom Ridge's job, and you better not put any color to that because you might be racially profiling someone. So your 80 year old Polish grandmother from Cleveland better take her shoes off at SFO, and everyone is very polite to not racially profile anybody getting on an airplane because there is one thing we did learn from 911, and that is that Islam is a religion of peace and you better say so or you might upset the (Hispanic vote, maybe?) . . . well, whatever, but I guess you can tell that fundamental to everything Bush Republican, and fundamental to everything homeland for that matter, is the Hispanic vote. It's like when Bush Senior paraded some of his relatives in front of a T.V. camera years back to tell us "see . . . my family is Latino, they have . . . (pause) brown, uh, Spanish heritage" . . .

So really, all Mr. Ridge has to work with is four color crayons for his project, and the thing about projects is, as we all know - sometimes a project might involve nothing more than swatting flies and sending reports to the headquarters. I mean, sometimes you only got four color crayons.

"I have sent my report to headquarters, out of the voluminous data I have collected. I am also writing a book on a vital theme. I have learned that there is this quiet town, a good Republican town, where I can collect my material in peace. Here I have been for the last three days, practically living in the little waiting room of a railway station. I watch the people, come and go. After time, my focus, my world, became larger while at the same time all those other little worlds that we fail to see in the hustle and bustle of day to day life revealed itself. Little, tiny, bugs, very small, all in a straight line, they march up and down, unseen to the rest of the world, on the wall of my little room. There are many worlds all about us, sometimes we do not see them, like the other world of these little bugs. Do these bugs bite? Tell me, who is the railway minister? He should know about these bugs. Do you have a pencil? Help me draft a letter to him - all I have is these four crayons . . ." - Tom Ridge, Summer of 2002.

September 11th. That is what happens when you have no borders. We were all told, "who would have thought of it?", "no one could even imagine" - what a bunch of lying crap. A lot of people said it was going to happen. And then it did. In fact, more than a couple even said exactly what would happen, that our lax immigration and no borders would afford a gateway to terrorists, likely working for Osama bin Laden who has already killed American four times in the past, and that he tried the World Trade Center once already but didn't finish the job, and so he will try the same building again and again. And more than a couple spoke about our no borders, either on the ground or in the sky, and how they could, and would, use a domestic or international flight to crash an airplane right into America, it was brought up on talk radio by callers, even the theme of a novel. Many said, why are you trying to destroy Milosevic and help the Muslims, many who are illegal aliens from Albania massing into Serbia, while you do nothing about a real threat, Osama bin Laden, and do not see how you have let your security guard down? Even Milosevic warned about Osama bin Laden - look! There is a man named Osama bin Laden, he has tried to kill Americans in the past, has plotted to kill American Presidents and members of Congress, he did not finish the task in New York, his terrorists will return! You bomb Yugoslavia, a nation which is an example of what Balkanization will lead to . . . and why are you trying to then Balkanize your own nation? Do you not see, what happened in Yugoslavia will also be the fate of America as you destroy yourselves and lose your national identity? Many ask now, did 911 happen because America is rapidly becoming Yugoslavia? And when America's Milosevic comes, will he go to the prison of some world court as another Osama bites at the ankles of a falling Rome? Do you think you, your children, can afford the amount of money it will take to feed the Yugoslavia of America? You have no borders. Not in September, and not come Tuesday it must be Belgium. 911 will happen again, very soon. Because you have no borders. And nothing is going to be done about it any time soon, because you have no representative government that will do any such thing no matter how loud you demand it. Because your future is a Corporate Yugoslavia of a business complex aligned with government that is changing the profile of your world, offering you a balkanized America and a car bomb in your future, and what you see in Africa, in the Middle-East, in Yugoslavia, you will see here in America only the faces will be different but the nail bombs will be the same and they will blow up. And maybe the next magic carpet ride ten fathoms deep on the way to hell may not be hosted by an Arab with a box cutter at all. Maybe your escort will be a true-believer in Azatlan California. I mean, whose country do you think it is, anyway? Yours? You don't have any borders. Not for you country. Not for your State. Not for your city. Not for your neighborhood. Not for your street. Not for your backyard. Not for your front door.

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