Rumsfeld Sorry for Embarrassing Anti-War Celebrities

Broken Newz ^

[Sir Gawain]

Rumsfeld Sorry for Embarrassing Anti-War Celebrities

4/11/2003 - Marni Malarkey

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Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld apologized to the celebrity community for the outcome of the war yesterday at his daily press briefing. "In spite of the joy we feel at what happened in Baghdad this week, it is tinged with sadness as we know that we have embarrassed and disappointed the many members of the celebrity community who wanted us to fail."

Rumsfeld went on to say that "it is always difficult" to go against celebrity foreign policy analysts and added that he hoped "Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Michael Moore, Edward Norton and the Dixie Chicks will not feel too red-faced and will allow the healing to begin. Listen, I've made mistakes in judgment too in my life, and you just have to move forward."

General Tommy Franks, reached for comment on the road to Kirkuk, said that he also "immediately thought about the celebrities" when he saw his men being mobbed and hugged by jubilant Iraqis after the fall of Baghdad. "It's always hard to send men into battle, believe me. But all the more so when they succeed and you know that Barbra Streisand is watching."

[Sir Gawain]

-

[UbIwerks]

An Onion wannabe.

[ChadGore]

[COBOL2Java]

I know this is satire, but wouldn't it be fun as all get-out to actually see this happen?

[Bigg Red]

LOL

[Sir Gawain]

hehe

[leslie_is_cooking]

I can easily imagine "Let's Rumble" Rummy saying this--and I wish he would!

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[Torie]

Rummy is so talented at going for the jugular. In fact, he is a feaking genius at that. Would that I be able to depose him about the museum fiasco televised. It would be fun.

[KarlInOhio]

I wasn't fooled for a second. On the other hand I might have fallen for it if the headline had been "Rumsfeld rubs celebrities' noses in victory and makes the Dixie Chicks cry".

[Torie]

I was. That sucks.

[Sir Gawain]

There shouldn't be a category for Political Humor if it's going to get moved to General Interest anyway.

[Sir Gawain]

Still not hunting down my posts huh?

[Victoria Delsoul]

Bwahahahahahaha! That's priceless.

[buffyt]

Janine can crawl on her knees on broken glass then she can eat her d*mn crow! LOL

[YaYa123]

LOL at "celebrity foreign policy analysts".

Too bad this funny piece didn't have Rumsfeld apologizing to Jimmy Carter too.

Jimmy Carter = foreign policy wanker

[Cyber Liberty]

Did I miss something?

[PeoplesRep_of_LA]

We need more fake stories like this. Since its not allowed for us to gloat in public, we can dream...

p.s. I haven't been to a movie since Christmas, don't have any plans to either.

[battlegearboat]

The spokespersons for Clinton and Carter have asked that the media respect the ex-presidents desire for privacy at this deeply sad time in their lives.

It has been particularly hard on ex-pres Carter who is now dependent on Depends.

As for ex-pres Clinton, he is on a self-mutilation watch as he wanks away in frustration 24/7.