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Franken, Streisand to Play Clintons in CBS 'Biopic'
Scrappleface ^ | Oct 21, 2003 | Scott Ott

Posted on 10/24/2003 8:41:12 AM PDT by lchoro

Franken, Streisand to Play Clintons in CBS 'Biopic' (2003-10-21) -- In a surprise announcement today, CBS Chairman Les Moonves said his network's movie "The Reagans" will be followed by another presidential biopic, "The Clintons."

Shooting has already commenced on a script that presents "a balanced view" of the Clinton years, similar to the unbiased presentation of Ronald and Nancy Reagan described in today's New York Times. Both biopics will run on CBS during the November ratings sweeps.

Al Franken and Barbra Streisand will star as The Clintons, with Janeane Garofalo as Chelsea and Sean Penn, in a whimsical role, as Sox the Presidential cat. Academy Award-winning documentarist Michael Moore will direct.

Mr. Moonves said that despite the well-known liberal leanings of the cast and crew, "the biopic will be a historically accurate story."

"This was very important for me, to document everything and give a very fair point of view," said Mr. Moonves.

The Times 'acquired' a copy of the final shooting script for The Clintons. Here are some of the key scenes in this "utterly objective" movie: -- Hillary Clinton (Barbra Streisand) gulps for air as her husband tells her about how Monica Lewinsky is part of a "vast rightwing conspiracy." -- In a tearful scene, the President (Al Franken) admits that a childhood fear of analgesics led him to order the bombing of an aspirin factory. -- Newt Gingrich (Carrot Top) sneaks into the White House, under cover of darkness, and hides the billing records from the Rose Law Firm to embarrass the First Lady. -- Bill Clinton gulps for air as his wife tells him that a vast rightwing conspiracy has scuttled their dream of a government-run universal healthcare program. -- Mr. Clinton urgently and repeatedly warns his successor, George W. Bush (Will Ferrell), about the danger posed by Osama Bin Laden's al Qaeda terror network. -- The people of South Korea kneel before a statue of Mr. Clinton and former President Jimmy Carter, honoring them for ridding the Korean peninsula of nuclear weapons forever. -- Israelis and Palestinians join hands by the thousands and sing "God Bless America," in gratitude for the Clinton-brokered peace accords which finally brought security to the Middle East.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: biopic; cbs; clinton; franken; humor; scrappleface; streisand; theclintons

1 posted on 10/24/2003 8:41:13 AM PDT by lchoro
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To: lchoro
Who plays their victims?
2 posted on 10/24/2003 8:45:00 AM PDT by drypowder
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To: drypowder
Gary Coleman as Juanita Broderick.
3 posted on 10/24/2003 8:46:19 AM PDT by mrobison (We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams.)
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To: drypowder
Nobody, they're all dead.
4 posted on 10/24/2003 8:46:22 AM PDT by anoldafvet (Democrats: Making the world safe for terrorists one lie at a time.)
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To: drypowder
No victims. This is a "fair and balanced" view of the rapists clintons. Expect to see special forces try to grab some muslim terrorist guru, only to be restrained at the last second by VRWC pols.
5 posted on 10/24/2003 8:50:10 AM PDT by Fudd (yes, i know this post is humor)
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To: lchoro
Who Plays Monica?
6 posted on 10/24/2003 8:51:00 AM PDT by Eldorado431
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To: Eldorado431
"Who Plays Monica?"

The Grand Canyon :)
7 posted on 10/24/2003 8:54:37 AM PDT by Betteboop
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To: lchoro
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8 posted on 10/24/2003 8:56:20 AM PDT by Great_Dame (praying for liberals, yes even that one.)
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To: Eldorado431
Rosie O'Donnell
9 posted on 10/24/2003 9:01:27 AM PDT by steve8714
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To: steve8714
BUT>>>she goes for the other Clinton.
10 posted on 10/24/2003 9:02:03 AM PDT by steve8714
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To: lchoro
Alec Baldwin plays a supporting role as Wes Clark, the team-player NATO commander who orders the Brits to move the Russkies out of Pristina airport.
11 posted on 10/24/2003 9:29:59 AM PDT by lchoro
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To: lchoro
Bella Legosi as Janet Reno?
12 posted on 10/24/2003 9:33:31 AM PDT by BlueLancer (Der Elite Møøsenspåånkængrüppen ØberKømmååndø (EMØØK))
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To: lchoro
The Times 'acquired' a copy of the final shooting script for The Clintons

Is this paragraph bogus? Do you think the times would give out anything remotely negative on the Clintons? This script is so rediculous that know one would believe it Gingrich sneaking into the White House (despite the secret service)... know one would believe it. This paragraph looks like a scam. Can anyone detect anything else from it.

13 posted on 10/24/2003 9:36:43 AM PDT by sr4402
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To: sr4402
It's satire. Go to scrappleface.com. It's like a blog version of "The Onion".
14 posted on 10/24/2003 10:18:04 AM PDT by TrappedInLiberalHell (Hillary walks into a bar. Let's hope it leaves a nice bump on her forehead.)
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To: lchoro

15 posted on 10/26/2003 6:22:18 AM PST by Helms (Liberals have a Mental Defect which does not permit an accurate perception of Reality)
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