Are you metrosexual? (Sorry, not you Jonny, your neck's too thick) [How To Be a Metrosexual]

The Times ^ | November 27, 2003 | Andrew Billen

[RikaStrom]

Morning UB.

Follower of Fashion?? I worry when any male type person can outshop me!

Happy Thanksgiving!

[the irate magistrate]

I'm cleaning up puke from my keyboard now.

[Steel Wolf]

I agree. It's one thing to have some freakin manners, and to know how to conduct yourself without being a knuckle dragging barbarian. It's another to be a pretentious, snot nosed pansy.

I've got a wide range of interests that are not particularly mainstream. I am an unrepentant techno geek, linguist, video game enthusist, and M203 40mm grenade launcher wielding maniac who is bored stiff by professional sports and modern art. If I get flak from other guys becuase I'd rather discuss Chinese history than college basketball, I'm okay with that.

It's pretty clear to me that being a Metrosexual is more like being a 14 year old girl who's trying to fit in with the other N-Sync loving teens than about being yourself.

I can respect anyone who does their own thing, even if it's kind of off the wall. Being 'Metero' seems to be about conformity and elitism, which are not particularly desirably traits in my book.

[FITZ]

I would think lesbians could find the metrosexuals appealing.

[uglybiker]

I worry when any male type person can outshop me!

Would that include hardware stores and salvage yards? ;-)

[uglybiker]

I worry when any male type person can outshop me!

Would that include hardware stores and salvage yards? ;-)

[LurkerNoMore!]

The Life and Times of Senator Pardek

[RikaStrom]

LOL!

No, in that case y'all can out shop me, I won't mind. :-)

[King Prout]

Since I have no interest in sport, take no pleasure in getting drunk and believe patriotism to be dangerous idiocy, familiar feelings of alienation from my sex began to crowd in. At such moments of fraternity, men are from Mars and I feel I’m from Pluto.

No, sugar, you're just in the closet.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

TEN WARDROBE MUST-HAVES
Got em.

THE CONFIDENT METROSEXUAL ALWAYS . . .
Yep.

15 BOOKS YOU SHOULD READ
Have read about half of them. Most were no great shakes.

15 ALBUMS YOU SHOULD OWN
I prefer Country and Classical.

15 FILMS YOU SHOULD SEE
Enjoyed Fargo. The rest either I didn’t see, didn’t like or fell asleep during.

Does this make me a metrosexual? Or does being a bambi killing, flag waving, gun toting, church going, bar-b-que eating, right-wing, hockey watching, pro-life, Ann Coulter reading, Toby Keith listening female disqualify me?

[King Prout]

The Man's Guide to Style (King Prout's Press, freebie)

TEN WARDROBE MUST-HAVES*

Boxer-shorts - cotton, white
An indefinite number of well-worn T-shirts
An indefinite number of beat-up blue-jeans
One dark suit - one does attend interviews, weddings, and funerals, after all
One leather bomber or motorcycle jacket
Two or more gray sweatshirts
Two pairs of khaki, straightleg trousers
Three well-cut, white or pinstriped button-down shirts - to go with that dark suit
Expendable sunglasses
One Timex wristwatch
Honest Scars of a hard-lived life
Honest Callouses of hard work - not "hard work-outs"
One functional lighter
One good, well-used, sharp folding knife (pocket or belt)
At least one pistol and appropriate holster

THE CONFIDENT MAN ALWAYS* . . .

Does what he thinks is right, whether that puts others at ease or not
Takes responsibility for his actions
Accepts his sexuality with a largely indifferent attitude
Considers spending effort on "looking his best" for casual encounters to be a trivial and effete affectation
Flirts politely
Accepts earned praise
Makes plans and sticks to them
Never loses control... except when it is time to do so
Tells the truth
Is able to laugh at himself
Is able to laugh at others

15 BOOKS YOU SHOULD* READ

Stalky & Co. - Rudyard Kipling
The Old Man and the Sea — Ernest Hemingway
Enemies Foreign and Domestic - Travis McGee
(a book on the impact of the screw on tech and culture, title and author not remembered - I'll get back to this later)
Structures, or Why Buildings Don't Fall Down - ???
The Book of the New Sun - Gene Wolfe
Sin City: That Yellow Bastard - Frank Miller
The Art of War - Sun Tsu
The Odyssey - Homer
The Glass Key and Red Harvest - Dashiell Hammett
At The Mountains of Madness - HP Lovecraft
Starship Troopers - Robert Heinlein
The Fall of the Roman Empire - Gibbons
The Sum of All Fears - Tom Clancy (NOT the "revised" movie)
The Stand - Steven King

15 ALBUMS YOU SHOULD* OWN

"O Brother, Where Art Thou?" soundtrack — Various
Metallica - Metallica
Led Zeppelin 4 - Led Zeppelin
Moving Pictures - Rush
Best of the Doors - The Doors
Amadeus soundtrack - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
anything by Ray Charles or BB King
anything by Howlin' Wolf or Muddy Waters
anything by Louis Prima
Anything by Jimi Hendrix
In Case You Didn't Feel Like Showing Up Live - Ministry
Best of JS Bach — Johann Sebastian Bach
that new stuff by Evanescence - that lady has cojones
Dirt - Alice in Chains
anything by the Rollins band

15 FILMS YOU SHOULD* SEE

8-1/2 — Federico Fellini
Fargo — The Coen brothers
Eraserhead — David Lynch
Kagemusha - Akira Kurosawa
Rashomon - Akira Kurosawa
A Clockwork Orange — Stanley Kubrick
Seven -
Sixth Sense - Shayamalan(sp?)
Unbreakable - Shayamalan(sp)
Blazing Saddles -
Meaning of Life - Monty Python
Office Space -
Falling Down -
Abbot and Costello meet Dracula (?) -
We were Soldiers -

* of course, men don't pay any heed to advice like this - they don't need outside opinions in order to live their own lives their own ways.

[LurkerNoMore!]

Hey wait......... Fail Safe isn't on that movie list!

You're just a pretend metro, aren't ya.

[Pyro7480]

15 ALBUMS YOU SHOULD OWN

...What’s Goin’ On — Marvin Gaye...
...Best of Sade (Remastered) — Sade...
Blue Lines — Massive Attack
Speaking in Tongues — Talking Heads
Best of Bowie — David Bowie
Vertigo — Groove Armada
Parachutes — Coldplay

Anyone who listens to these albums, or trip-pop, light jazz, or anything along these lines is metrosexual?? I think not...

[Looking4Truth]

The guys still a wimp and doesn't even have what it takes to be a 'confident metrosexual' since he feels the need to try and adapt.

When this term first started appearing it angered me because it seems just another attempt by homos to hijack certain traits and 'sexualize' them. Some of the 'metrosexual traits' are simply the traits of having a little class or upscale taste. Just cause I can cook good or like a nice restaurant doesn't make me 'metrosexual'. I still like to camp out, shoot, work on things, etc. but the 'metrosexual' wouldn't want to get his little hands dirty.

Just Barf!

[Pyro7480]

I saw Eraserhead and I thought it was kind of disturbing...

[Senator Pardek]

You're just a pretend metro, aren't ya.

Since I live in the country, I suppose so...

[shaggy eel]

Saturday began badly. Off the red-eye from New York, I took to my bed at 9am planning a three-hour kip. At around 11am I was awoken by a bestial choral scream from next door. I later calculated that this must have been the moment Jonny Wilkinson converted or tried or did whatever he did to win the rugby World Cup.

,,, pal, if you kip thru the Rugby World Cup, chances are you got off the brown-eye from New York.

[cyborg]

LOL...

[Polybius]

I would think lesbians could find the metrosexuals appealing.

No way.

For a while there, half of my female techs were lesbians.

They were a lot of fun to hang out with. They loved football, they loved fishing, they didn't expect you to share your feelings with them and the wife didn't get jealous when I would go over to their place on a Sunday afternoon to drink beer and watch the big game.

A metrosexual just wouldn't have fit in.

However, I can see a metrosexual and my wife spending a nice afternoon together at her favorite cafe eating brie cheese, drinking white wine and discussing how they can't understand football and why fishing is barbaric.

[NYC GOP Chick]

Follower of Fashion?? I worry when any male type person can outshop me!

Hi Rika! :) I worry when they have more skin care products than I do. And when I know far more about sports than they do. Eek!