Childrens Books which never got published.

School Handout | 05/18/2004 | anonymous 9th gr. Eng. school teacher

[Fester Chugabrew]

The Berenstain Bears: In the Woods We Go

[Preachin']

29. That TV is a priveledge, and not a right.

[general_re]

Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

Never published? Think again ;)

[WSGilcrest]

A book that I like to buy for my friend's kids,

The American Boy's Handy Book: What to Do and How to Do It, by Daniel Carter Beard.

Always fun when they get to the chapter "Practical Taxidermy For Young Boys"

[Fester Chugabrew]

Big Guns and How They Work
Peter and the Pea Shooter
Tricks for Kids
Bessie the Cow Pie
Fester's Big Book of Shenanigans
Children's Guide to the Internal Revenue Service

[xsmommy]

i love them all!

[Fester Chugabrew]

Chuck E. Cheeze Lives Under the Bed

[xsmommy]

now that you have a child, here are some titles you need to bring home....; )

[COUNTrecount]

The Story of Babar Streisand ,The Little Elephant

[Kerberos]

I have seen this before and have always thought it was funny. However I am not sure it is appropriate for school. What was the subject matter being considered that prompted this to be passed out?

[<1/1,000,000th%]

I think #3 did make it.

[AmericanChef]

Let's not forget some popular series books:

Trailer Park Tales: Mommy's First Boyfriend
Trailer Park Tales: Mommy's Second Boyfriend
Trailer Park Tales: Mommy's Third Boyfriend
Trailer Park Tales: Mommy's Fourth Boyfriend
Trailer Park Tales: Mommy's Fifth Boyfriend

[Agnes Heep]

A long time ago I wrote some verses for an artist friend who was putting together one of these so-called children's books. Here are the few I remember:

My daddy's car is really great,
It has a stick shift and V-8,
It's great for driving into town,
Or running little doggies down.

There is a stranger on our street,
He wears a raincoat, boots and hat,
When children see him standing there,
They must not ever stop to chat.

The day I squealed on Uncle Sid,
I told my Daddy what he did,
Now Uncle Sid is off the streets,
And no one ever brings me sweets.

And this little parody of Maurice Sendak:

In September, for a while,
I will be a Pedophile,
Luring children with my guile.
Luring once; luring twice;
Luring Chicken Soup with Rice.

[Planet]

3. Dad’s new wife Robert

If this one isn't published yet, I would be surprised.

[Rebelbase]

One more:

Daddy's .45 at Show and Tell.

[biblewonk]

I like the Dr Soose(sp) list which includes:

The Grinches ten inches.

[Shooter 2.5]

Peter Rabbit-Tank Killer

[searchandrecovery]

Hot Dog! - The Fun Factory Tour

You Float My Boat (A Child's Guide to Bed-Wetting)

The Joy of Teenage Sex
All About Condoms (A popup book for teens)

[Hegewisch Dupa]

Strong anti-cat sentiment in the unpublishing world...

[xsmommy]

Hate 'em, personally : )