Childrens Books which never got published.

School Handout | 05/18/2004 | anonymous 9th gr. Eng. school teacher

[pageonetoo]

Childrens Books Which Never Got Published

Here’s a list of children’s book titles which for some reason or another that didn’t make it to your local book shop.

1. You Are Different and That’s Bad.

2. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables

3. Dad’s new wife Robert

4. Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share

5. Hammers, Screwdrivers, and Scissors: An I-Can-Do Book

6. The Kid’s Guide to Hitchhiking

. Katy Was So Bad Her Mummy Stopped Loving Her

8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

9. All Cats Go To Hell

10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched

11. Some Kittens Can Fly

12. That’s It, I’m Putting You Up For Adoption

13. Grandpa Gets a Casket

14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

16. The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy

17. Strangers Have the Best Candy

18. Whining, Kicking, and Crying to Get Your Way

19. You Were an Accident

20. This Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

21. Pop! Goes the Hamster…And Other Great Microwave Games

22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan

23. Your Nightmares Are Real

24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?

25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School

26. Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Mrs Electrical Outlet be Friends?

27. Places Where Mummy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

Given to my daughter’s class by her 9th Grade English School teacher.

[pageonetoo]

My daughter brought this home... I submit it for comment, and any possible additions! There are a couple of good ones... this lady isn't afraid of controversy!

[DeuceTraveler]

Nice comic relief, thanks!

[pageonetoo]

I am in WV. The school teachers here are more conservative, as a group, than those we had in NC. There are many liberals floating about, here, though, and we are only 1.5 hours from DC. I like this lady.

I am glad you appreciated this, too. I was tired of reading the trash... I mean news!

[chainsaw]

"My daughter brought this home..."

You didn't say from where. Right now I'm thinking this is another attack on the basic family structure by the liberal democrats and the NEA.

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

29.) "It's Inoperable, Charlie Brown!"

30.) If You Give a Mouse a Quickie...

[Physicist]

Clifford the Big Dead Dog: A Treatise on Logistics

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

"Hello, Satan? It's Me, Margaret"

[Adder]

Cyber-Sex and You: Fun things To Do In Chat Rooms.
Your Daddy Doesn't Love You Or Else He Wouldn't Have Left.

[JZoback]

"Why your Brother looks like the Mailman"

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

The Anais Nin Alphabet Book ("The Only Alphabet Where Every Letter Stands For 'Daddy'...")

[DainBramage]

Your Mommy spanks you to teach you right from wrong

Your principle spanks you to look up your skirt.

[sauropod]

This is funny!

[Rebelbase]

Strangers have the best candy!

[LanPB01]

"It hurts when I pee, Charlie Brown!"

[jocon307]

LOL, these are good. I'll be passing this one around, and I don't do that too much.

[secret garden]

To quote an old Beatles tune...number nine...number nine...number nine...

[BufordP]

Samurai Cat Goes To Hell
by Mark E. Rogers (Author)

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Edition: Paperback

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From Booklist
Blood flows freely as Tomokato--Samurai Cat--and his nephew Shiro, still seeking revenge for their master's death, attack Genghis Khan and the Mongols. The puns flow freely, too: Tomokato uses Aim Toothpaste with Tartar Control to subdue Khan's troops--get the picture? When both cats are killed in the skirmish, Shiro is sent to hell because he watched a porn flick shortly before dying. Tomokato, though, is headed for heaven but takes a detour downward when he is commissioned by an angel to... read more

[Quix]

Cheeky fun.

Not sure of an appropriate age kid!

[Drammach]

BTTT

[netmilsmom]

This is really funny for adults and I had gotten it in my inbox a while ago, but 9th grade!?!

I'm so glad I homeschool.