Posted on 07/06/2004 4:00:03 AM PDT by familyop
July 12 issue - When groups of women get together, especially if they're mothers and have been married for more than six or seven years, and especially if there's alcohol involved, the conversation is usually the same. They talk about the kids and work—how stressed they are, how busy and bone tired. They gripe about their husbands and, if they're being perfectly honest and the wine kicks in, they talk about the disappointments in their marriages. Not long ago, over lunch in Los Angeles, this conversation took a surprising turn, when Erin, who is in her early 40s and has been married for more than a decade, spilled it. She was seeing someone else. Actually, more than one person. It started with an old friend, whom she began meeting every several months for long dinners and some heavy petting. Then she began giving herself permission to flirt with, kiss—well, actually, make out with—men she met on business trips. She understands it's a "Clintonian" distinction, but she won't have sex with anyone except her husband, whom she loves. But she also loves the unexpected thrill of meeting someone new. "Do you remember?" She pauses. "I don't know how long you've been married, but do you remember the kiss that would just launch a thousand kisses?"
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
Don't believe that. This is a desperate company trying to sell magazines. If you've had any experience in getting articles published, you'll know that sells is the fringe.
This issue is going to sell because most women aren't like this. As a result of the article, more women will be.
This is the press taking another blow at the fabric of society, that's all.
One thing I have noticed is that the selfishness is not always with the newly married couple. Often, parents/in-laws are equally materialistic and pressure the groom to provide more than his job/pay will allow. And then the bride's mom makes the bride feel as if her husband is not good enough for her. I've seen this occur in multiple families.
The thing your female friends are not seeing is that if these married men would cheat on their wives, they'd cheat on them also. No matter how much the men try to put it on their wives, they're exhibiting a lack of character that won't go away when wifey does.
Sex. More sex. "When you're in the mood" winds up being about once every six months for most women, and that will absolutely destroy a marriage.
The woman who hooked up with the businessman for the romantic gestures doesn't realize the fundamental fact that any man will be affectionate if she is passionate. Women who push their husbands away night after night and then expect flowers and cards are just flat out delusional. You can only reap what you have sown.
I see what you are saying completely. I don't know where these friends go to church but you sound like someone who would like a solid serious church that teaches, of all things, the Bible! Don't look for a church that emphasizes the trappings of worship or entertainment. In other words, you might enjoy church, just not the ones your friends enjoy. God bless.
Both were taken.
You have a good point there. I don't understand how wives think that this behavior is ok. On the other hand lack of libido in women is more often than not tied to problems in the relationship. Spending time talking and enjoying each others company outside the sack can go a long way toward solving that problem. I have noticed that marriages that fall into this pattern often have a lot of unspoken resentment between the partners. This really tends to make women not want to have sex with their husbands. I am not blaming men particularly but it is a fact about female sexuality that is often overlooked.
I have noticed that many men do not like women who can think either.Many men compete with other men who can think. lol. Men who don't like women who can think, IME, don't like men who can think, either.
What astounds me; is the women who do the cow-eyes thing (manipulations), and then complains that she's not always getting her way! lol. And bashes the male -- screaming Husband Oppression! lol
On the left coast here, most hetero males are in hiding from thinking and nonthinking femmes, alike. Relations between the sexes are way messed up in many parts of the country.
P.S. I have always lacked the DNA (thing) to make cow-eyes, or do the manipulation-in-relationship thing too. I like things upfront and on the table. If the guy gets upset because I've outthought him in an area, I always figure it's his problem he's upset.
In other parts of the country, I bet you'd find some fine men who'd appreciate your values and logic.
I got one of them. And I'll keep her.
BINGO!
And of course the mentalities that Newsweek plays to, also pay attention to so-called psychologists (and typical DemocRAT mentalities) like David Livingstone Smith that are just as screwed up as they are.
In his new book, "Why We Lie -- The Evolutionary Roots of Deception and the Unconscious Mind", he gives people permission to cheat in their marriages because it's perfectly NORMAL for human beings to do that and then to lie to their spouses about it. It's not their fault - they're "just human".
Yes friends -- the way this guy is able to assuage his own guilt feelings / conscience and 'help' others to do the same (for all sorts of things they think and do that they KNOW are wrong), is to say that our minds are based in biology.
Therefore anyone that claims to know that lying and cheating is wrong, and feels guilty when he does it, is mentally ill and needs his help.
Quoting Smith, himself (from my videotape of his appearance on Fox yesterday promoting his book):
"We are BIOLOGICALLY WIRED TO LIE. The human mind is a deceptive mind and WE'RE BUILT to lie."
What a way to drum up business from the guilt-ridden, self-hating victim mentalities looking for excuses.
He is confident that the relativistic, shallow mentalities who will rush out to buy his book will never think of this:
Even though he is 'built to lie', and people should expect lies from him because he can't help it, Smith assures them he is telling the truth this time (in his book).
But wait!!! He also says that "the very best liars actually believe their own lies"!!! Hahahahaha
Ignorance is curable with education --- emotional immmaturity is cured by 'growing up' --- but STUUUUPID is forever.
I am the other one, and I am taken.
We are young only once but it is possible to be immature for a lifetime.
The Secret Life of Bees
Just remember, bees are the perfect communists. Hive run by a queen, served by chemically sterilized female slaves, and reproduced by a bunch of physiologically inferior males who are discarded like trash after the act...
That's at the tail end of page 4.
Of course they left it till last thinking that people wouldn't read the article through till the end.
I agree with you; and your counsel. It's the same as mine. Which is probably why I have a few close girlfriends; not lots and lots. :)
Marie, spoken magnificently by a person of courage. You are so right on. Your friends hear it and come back for more because they are starved for truth.
Great stuff. It's amazing how many people are looking for "adults" in their lives to help fix things.
I read that book. It appears I was the only one in the book club who recognized lesbian and man-hating undertones. Sad, really...but then again most of the book club women are serious leftist feminazi types, so I don't know why I expected otherwise.
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