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Alan Keyes' sweat on sale at eBay
WND ^ | Aug 9, 2004 | staff

Posted on 08/08/2004 10:32:40 PM PDT by ETERNAL WARMING

Alan Keyes, the Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate from Illinois, has his die-hard fans.

But who among them would actually bid to purchase a napkin Keyes used to blot sweat from his brow at his acceptance speech?

Only eBay knows for sure.

Immediately following the announcement by Keyes to replace Jack Ryan as the candidate to face Democrat Barack Obama in a long-shot bid for the Senate, a zealous Alan Keyes supporter daubed sweat from the candidate's brow and placed the perspiration-soaked napkin for sale on eBay.

No lie.

Here's the ad copy from eBay: "Napkin with sweat from Ambassador Alan Keyes' forehead: Blotted from Keyes' brow at Senate announcement 8-8-04

"Own a part of American history; own the napkin containing sweat from Ambassador Alan Keyes' forehead, immediately following Alan Keyes' historic announcement that he agreed to replace Jack Ryan as the Republican candidate for U.S. Senate in Illinois to take on Democrat Barak Obama.

"GOP senatorial candidate Keyes was sweating profusely after his stem-winder speech and the sweat was collected from a napkin at approximately 3:02 pm Central Time just outside the Wellington Restaurant in Arlington Heights, Illinois, under the watchful eye of multiple news reporters including multiple television cameras.

"Many at the Keyes event are calling for Lincoln-Douglas style debates between the first match up of two African-American senatorial candidates in the history of United States elections.

"Current plans are to donate proceeds from this sale to the Keyes for Senate campaign, pending a legal opinion. Due to Federal Election Campaign Laws, we might have to stop the bidding at $999.99 to avoid having to form a political fundraising committee. This sale is on behalf of an individual Alan Keyes supporter but not affiliated directly with the Keyes' campaign."

The unnamed napkin entrepreneur has even hired a publicity firm to book interviews should the media take interest.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: ebay; keyes; sweat
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1 posted on 08/08/2004 10:32:40 PM PDT by ETERNAL WARMING
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To: ETERNAL WARMING

Ok, Cal, why are you selling Alan's sweat on Ebay?


2 posted on 08/08/2004 10:33:13 PM PDT by ETERNAL WARMING (He is faithful!)
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To: ETERNAL WARMING
Due to Federal Election Campaign Laws, we might have to stop the bidding at $999.99

I really LOVE Keyes... but I doubt this will be a problem.

3 posted on 08/08/2004 10:39:34 PM PDT by GeronL (geocities.com/geronl is back, or will be)
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To: ETERNAL WARMING

That is just sick. And I say that as someone who was rooting for him in the 2000 primaries.


4 posted on 08/08/2004 10:39:52 PM PDT by Still Thinking
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To: Still Thinking

LOL I agree.


5 posted on 08/08/2004 10:42:08 PM PDT by ETERNAL WARMING (He is faithful!)
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To: ETERNAL WARMING
Ok, Cal, why are you selling Alan's sweat on Ebay?

Don't hate on CaL.

6 posted on 08/08/2004 10:43:32 PM PDT by L.N. Smithee (When it comes to newborns getting stabbed in the head, Kerry cares...about drowning hamsters.)
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To: L.N. Smithee

I'm not "hating on Cal." I love Cal. It's a joke. She'll know that. :0)


7 posted on 08/08/2004 10:51:57 PM PDT by ETERNAL WARMING (He is faithful!)
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To: L.N. Smithee

I will. I'll hate on anyone who thought of a good hustle before I did *LOL*


8 posted on 08/08/2004 10:52:17 PM PDT by cyborg
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To: ETERNAL WARMING

This is the bidders problem, not Keyes.


9 posted on 08/08/2004 11:04:53 PM PDT by JamesP
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To: ETERNAL WARMING

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=39723&item=3924884114&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW


10 posted on 08/08/2004 11:10:26 PM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (~~John Kerry, A Little Bit Nutty and a Little Bit Slutty~~)
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To: GeronL

Own a part of American history; own the napkin containing sweat from Ambassador Alan Keyes' forehead, immediately following Alan Keyes' historic announcement that he agreed to replace Jack Ryan as the Republican candidate for U. S. Senate in Illinois to take on Democrat Barak Obama.

GOP Senatorial Candidate Keyes was sweating profusely after his stem-winder speech and the sweat was collected from a napkin at approximately 3:02 pm Central Time just outside the Wellington Restaurant in Arlington Heights, Illinois, under the watchful eye of multiple news reporters including multiple television cameras.

Many at the Keyes event are calling for Lincoln-Douglas style debates between the first match up of two African-American Senatorial candidates in the history of United States elections.


Kool-Aid, anyone?


11 posted on 08/08/2004 11:25:16 PM PDT by Howlin (Saving Private Hamster)
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To: Howlin

Conservatives can sometimes be as weird as all liberals are.


12 posted on 08/08/2004 11:27:50 PM PDT by GeronL (geocities.com/geronl is back, or will be)
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To: Howlin
Hey, at least it's good, clean sweat :)

If that had been a Dem candidate, Heaven knows what bodily fluid would've been up for sale, know what I mean?

13 posted on 08/08/2004 11:30:45 PM PDT by mewzilla
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To: mewzilla

There IS an adult section on Ebay :O)


14 posted on 08/08/2004 11:31:21 PM PDT by cyborg
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To: cyborg
=8-0

Not gonna go there. Wouldn't be prudent :)

15 posted on 08/08/2004 11:34:33 PM PDT by mewzilla
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To: mewzilla; GeronL; NYC GOP Chick
Genuine Patrick Ewing Sweat:

Only sold by the gallon.

16 posted on 08/09/2004 12:02:17 AM PDT by The Scourge of Yazid ("K-Billy's 'Super Hits of the 70s Weekend' just keeps on truckin'!")
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To: The Scourge of Yazid

LOL. Gee, maybe Kerry should try it. He was sweating buckets at the convention.


17 posted on 08/09/2004 12:04:16 AM PDT by mewzilla
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To: Xenalyte; pax_et_bonum; ElkGroveDan; Flyer; humblegunner; Eaker; TheMom

OK, y'all want to go into another bidding war?


18 posted on 08/09/2004 12:04:45 AM PDT by Allegra (It depends on what the meaning of "is" is......)
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To: mewzilla
Yeah, I know.

This campaign is starting to give me a serious migraine.

19 posted on 08/09/2004 12:05:57 AM PDT by The Scourge of Yazid ("K-Billy's 'Super Hits of the 70s Weekend' just keeps on truckin'!")
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To: Allegra
Fi'ty cents!

Okay, okay.

Twen'y fi' cents!

That's my final offer bub.

20 posted on 08/09/2004 12:07:05 AM PDT by The Scourge of Yazid ("K-Billy's 'Super Hits of the 70s Weekend' just keeps on truckin'!")
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