Posted on 08/31/2004 9:59:12 PM PDT by Redcoat LI
Kerry's served on GOP menu as dead duck By Howie Carr Recent Columns by Howie Carr Tuesday, August 31, 2004
You're John Kerry [related, bio], and the only liberal puke who's had a worse August than you is William Kennedy Smith.
They said it was your election to lose, and you're losing it.
You told 'em you were no Dukakis and you're not. As the Bush campaign pulverized him in August 1988, the Duke ran away to Tanglewood. Sixteen years later, you haven't fled to Tanglewood, you've lammed out for Nantucket.
And now you're holed up in the $9 million mansion on Hulbert Avenue that your second wife's first husband's trust fund bought.
You're John Kerry, and you can't help yourself. Somewhere today you'll just have to cut in some line somewhere and inquire of some poor wage slave, ``Do you know who I am?'' Yes, Senator, you're the narcissistic fop who's blowing the election.
You're John Kerry, and where will Lovey's billion-dollar trust fund treat you to dinner? Perhaps the Chanticleer in Sconset, or do you prefer The Galley on Cliffside Beach?
You're John Kerry, and you're a man of the people. People who are willing to spend $150 on dinner for two, if you don't want any wine.
If only you could sit down with the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, perhaps at Topper's Restaurant at the Wauwinet Inn. If you could just break baguette with them and then partake of a simple three-course dinner. It's one of the best buys on the island, only $78 per person, not including wine. In such a modest eatery, surely you could reason with them.
You're John Kerry, and you could order the food for them: for an appetizer, the poached Hudson Valley foie gras with black mission fig preserve and Portuguese bread. On top of the $78, there's a ``$5 supplement'' for that, and another ``$8 supplement'' if you go for the poached Nantucket lobster navarin.
``O'Neill,'' you could say to the head Swift Boat vet, ``why am I not connecting with the voters? I like all the same things they do - hang-gliding, $35 million Gulfstream jets, ski chalets in Sun Valley . . .''
You're John Kerry, and after a hard day of riding your $8,000 Serotta bike, you owe yourself a big feed, and may I recommend one of our favorites here at Topper's?
Go for the grilled Peking Duck breast and confit with quinoa, tot soi and ginger-peach chutney.
Dead duck, Senator. It's always in season for liberal Massachusetts snots running for president. Not lame duck, but dead duck.
Great column. Why isn't this stuff in the Houston Chronicle? Oh yeah, I forgot. The Chronicle staff hates America.
Howie must be living large in his Wellesley neighborhood. It sounds like he knows how to order the kind of meals that the Heinz-Kerrys have on a regular basis.
I like those too.
Or at least I think I would...
Toasted Duck.
Ooooh my!
your second wife's first husband's trust fund bought
like the line.
It would be nice if this column could be syndicated nation-wide. What are the chances?
While I enjoy seeing the Dim tactic of class warfare turned on them for a change, it still makes me uneasy that "our team" is using it.
Sniff ..Sniff....Whats that? My Duck is burning!!!
Terrific closing line, BTW.
Congressman Billybob
Latest column, "The Radio Talk Show Amendment, Or: Why John Kerry is Now Toast"
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Yup... John Kerry is now a punchline. Scarborough's After Hours showed a clip of Kerry windsurfing with them all laughing at him.
You know, he has a point. If I had that much money, I really wouldn't waste my time trying to be president.
I'd hire a cooka nnd stay home and eat.
Eating is my favorite sport.
Howie Carr said that Kaptain Ketchup is a dead duck.
That also means that Kerry's goose is cooked.
This is brutal. We aren't halfway through our convention and this guy is flaming out like McGovern.
My feminist, hard core Democrat boss is taking a new look at Bush. She has always hated his guts. I sent her an e-mail with a picture of the president jogging with an amputee vet. I told her she would never see that picture in the media.
It occurred to her that she had never seen a positive picture of the president at all. They are thinking, and we are winning.
his Wellesley neighborhood is very ritzy too. Several very good places to eat there.
He is wrong about one thing, this time of the year, it's the Nantuckett scallops. They are in season and absolutely incredible.
One thing i miss about Mass, is that radio show. Is he still making 800 large?
Old Howie really knows how to hurt a guy. It's one thing to drop your own C note for a bit of pate and a Bass ale on draft at the Chanticleer, out in the garden on a summer day; it is quite another if you are paying with a dead man's coin. Talk about a crystalline view of the essential corruption that is Hanoi John. A few more like that and Kerry will have to do the right thing, you know, in the smoking room of one of Nurse Fuzzy Wuzzy's mansions, a bit of Martels in a snifter, a fresh Macanudo, and a noisy bit of goods on the side table. In point of fact, a few more like that and Kerry's corruption will become irrelevant.
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