Kerry Joke (humor vanity)

email | 9/4/04 | unk

[umgud]

A guy was traveling through Mexico on vacation when, lo and behold, he lost his wallet and all identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempts to make his way home but is stopped by the Customs Agent at the border. "May I see your identification, please?" asks the agent.

"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replies the guy.

"Sure, buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no crossing the border," says the agent.

"But I can prove that I'm an American!" he exclaims. "I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one butt cheek and a picture of George Bush on the other."

"This I gotta see," replies the agent. With that, Joe drops his pants and bends over in front of the agent.

"By golly, you're right!" exclaims the agent "Go on home to Boston."

"Thanks!" he says. "But how did you know I was from Boston?"

The agent replies, "I recognized the picture of John Kerry in the middle."

[WestCoastGal]

Great jokes, LOL.

Needed a laugh this morning!!

Thanks for the ping

[Libloather]

One afternoon, Kerry was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well then, you can come to my house and I'll feed you," Kerry said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me," the man replied. "They are over there under that tree."

"Bring them along," Kerry replied. Turning to the other poor man, he stated, "You come with us also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me."

"Bring them all, as well," Kerry answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to Kerry and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

Kerry replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost a foot high!"

[AZamericonnie]

On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days
off to visit the coastal area for some sightseeing.
He was cruising along the sea wall on Galveston
Isle in his Pope mobile when suddenly he notices a
frantic commotion just off shore.

There was John Kerry struggling frantically to
free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As
the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came
racing up with two men aboard.. One of the men,
President George W. Bush quickly fired a harpoon
into the shark's side while Dick Cheyney reached
out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious John
Kerry from the water. Then using (autographed
Round Rock Express) baseball bats, the two
heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into
the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them
to the beach. "I give you my blessings for your
brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there
was some bitter hatred between President Bush
and John Kerry, but now I have seen with my own
eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, President Bush asked Dick
"Who was that?"

"It was the Pope," Dick replied. "He is in direct
contact with God and has all of God's wisdom."

"Well," President Bush said, "he may have access to
God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about
shark fishing................how's the bait holding up?"

[CaraM]

excellent!!! LOL...bttt

[DeSoto]

Glad that you liked it.

BUMP for the afternoon crowd.

[dread78645]

liar bookmark.

[onyx]

You're welcome.
Now there's even more laughs here.