Aussie political Party aims to enslave New Zealand

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3058681a4560,00.html ^ | October 9 2004 | Greg Tourelle

[shaggy eel]

It doesn't matter whether John Howard or Mark Latham wins Australia's federal election, a newcomer on the political scene here says.

For within a fortnight, the Enslave New Zealand Party or enslavenz for short, says it will take over Australian politics.

As its name suggests, this will be bad for New Zealanders.

In one of the weirder forays on to the political scene, enslavenz's leader, who wishes to remain anonymous to avoid "vicious New Zealand death squads", said on his Party's website enslavenz.org - that he wanted to conquer and enslave New Zealand, giving every Australian household a Kiwi slave.

Why?

"New Zealand's continued unblushing use of Australia as a continent sized defence shield instead of contributing to her own defence; her insidious policy of off loading undesirable citizen's (sic) on to Australia's welfare system; her citizen's (sic) continuous poaching of prime Sydney beach side real estate.

"If these are not sufficient I'm sure we can find more than enough reasons to convince the public.

"The build up to war in Iraq has taught us that at least. Facts need not get in the way. But in the end it comes down to something very simple."

And that is?

"Because we can."

[shaggy eel]

One of the voting blocs John Howard has neglected in policy visions.

[shaggy eel]

,,, how can I serve you?

[shaggy eel]

,,, how can I serve you?

[shaggy eel]

,,, the power of one Victoria Bitter too many.

[BlackVeil]

In future, it will be you who has to organise dinner.

Please lie down on the doorstep of the restaurant, so that I have something to wipe my feet on.

Australia rules! OK?

[GeronL]

Can we enslave liberals, Canada and Mexico??

[shaggy eel]

,,, I'll curl up far enough to shine your shoes on the way in. Would you like ice with that reply or with your cocktail?

I guess there will be no problem financing this expansion for more liebenstraum with your top five companies on the ASX being banks. I'd venture to suggest on that basis that y'all know enough about slavery under that scenario!

[Happygal]

Oi! You aren't leaving New Zealand until I get to visit there!!!!

I need an affable host! :-)

[danmar]

Do not feel lonely paisano, we have our very own freeloaders right here at the Northern borders waiting for free handouts every time fit hits the sham!
Just hang on tight! >

[shaggy eel]

,,, when you're ready, we're here. Not going anywhere, I've got slaves to train.

[Happygal]

I'll bring my whip! ;-)

[shaggy eel]

,,, being a mother to the world isn't easy, I'm sure.

[LibertarianInExile]

Just another example of how Australia leads the world yet again in physical pursuits. First, per capita, they're among the leaders of the world in Olympic medal competition. Second, they "threaten" to enslave a nation of leeching shepherds, and the world watches.

It sure will be nice to watch the Kiwis respond. It would be nicer if the U.S. did the same thing to Canuckistan.

[LibertarianInExile]

Nothing personal, understand. :)

[Anti-Christ is Hillary]

I'm with you brother!!! Can I have one of each. One to cook, one to clean and one to kick just because I am an evil conservitive (those who listen to Glenn Beck will get that).

[GeronL]

The Enslave The Left Party... I can see it now... ok, not really.

[danmar]

,,, being a mother to the world isn't easy, I'm sure.

Not quite a Mother, rather a stern Father I might add;...then again WHO is going to set some sort of civility in this wide wild world, if left unchecked?

...France...Germany...UN ?You tell me! They all failed and it is proven that they are just as corrupt as Mexico's government! Everyone is on the take! Period!

Someone has to step in and say "enough is enough" and do the unpleasant duty to kick ass and take names later.

Like it or not, warts, scars, eye patches, arrogance at times, WE ARE the ONLY military power capable to police the Earth.

[NZerFromHK]

Many Australians have reservations as to whether New Zealand should be allowed. They fear if New Zealand is allowed statehood Australasia (that is what the new country would certainly be called) would become another Canada overnight and the "New State of New Zealand" the new country's Quebec.

Now for a lighter perspective, I found this map of Australian-US comparison. It is as if place A is transported to B (although I should stress Tasmania is like Oregon and Washington, and Sydney is more moderate than New York, compararively speaking):

The United States as Australia, by David Bratman

I've never even been to Australia, but I've read enough descriptions of the country intended for American visitors which would, for example, explain the difference in local style between Melbourne and Sydney by saying that the one was like Boston and the other like New York, that it seemed worthwhile to collect such comparisons and illustrate them in this manner, by putting Australian names on a U.S. map in the place of their equivalents.

Various conversations I've had with Australians in the U.S. have added items to this list. Yes, Queensland is like the Deep South and Western Australia is like Texas, except for Perth which is like San Diego, but nothing else in Australia is like California at all, they said. (Even the Gold Coast? Well, they didn't mention that. Nor did they say what the equivalents of Southern Australia and Adelaide might be, so I just left them off.)

Hope you can see the dynamics and comparisons. :-)

[GeronL]

I did not know there was talk of letting NZ become a part of Australia

[mercy]

Hey, I understand it. Kewis plan to take the best from all the earth and do nothing to help protect anyone. Not even themselves as they know others will do it for them. What a deal! Effing slobs!