Posted on 12/17/2004 9:25:01 AM PST by John Robertson
My wife and I just got word from my daughter's college that we will be shocked when we see her tonight, when she gets home for Christmas break. We were fairly shocked at Thanksgiving, at the weight she'd dropped. Her personality is off, she has lost her sense of humor, has mood swings, her menstruation has stopped, she can barely sleep. She's eating, but not much. A few granola bars a day, and water. She is not skeletal, certainly, but way too thin, and her "spark" is gone. She may or may not be taking some vitamin supplements we got her. Though she is not officially diagnosed, she exhibits enough signs of the syndrome that saying, "Let's wait and see" is simply major denial. She's got it. My wife is scrambling right now, looking for the right local program or specialist in our area (Pittsburgh) to deal with her. The situation is dire.
And I would ditto the advice about drug testing and a conversation with her about PETA.
God be with you, your daughter and your family.
See about clinics/rehab you can send her to. I have someone in my family who had to attend one of these and things ended up for the better.
Find a commuter school near home. She needs you more than a big name school on her resume.
Said prayers for her and your family. Eating disorders are tough and take a while to overcome. It's a day by day and sometimes hour by hour thing. I still struggle with my eating all these years later (boughts with anorexia in my late teens/early 20's). Give her an extra hug for me. I will be thinking about you all.
About 20 years ago it was discovered that nearly all bulemic/anorexic people had a low intracellular zinc level. There is a simple taste test that would help see if that is the main problem. Go to the healthfood store & get a little bottle of "Zinc Talley" which will have the protocol for the taste test on the bottle. If the test is positive, she needs to see a holistic practitioner in her area who can order an accurate INTRACELLULAR zinc. If you are not aware of any such close to you, call (213) 859-8700 (Meridian Valley Laboratories) for the physician closest to you who would know enough to order the test AND what to do about it. -- http://www.askwaltstollmd.com/archives/anorexia/10595.html
I didn't say against her will, dead. I suspect if the situation is this dire, she can be convinced some time at home wouldn't hurt.
Please get her proffesional help and be strong supportive parents. (which it already seems that you are.) A message board is the wrong place to get the help that you probably seek right now.
That was my first thought.
Careful with the anti-depressants. Some are not recommended for people with a history of eating disorders, because alot of them effect appetite and in some cases metabolism.
Not neccessarily. Especially at this age, girls tend to have issues with self-perception. My first year in college, there was a girl living down the hall who everyone knew was anorexic. Her parents would come visit regularly to try to make sure she was eating, sometimes taking her out to one of the local places to have lunch together or something. I've also seen a few of that type at the campus gym. There're plenty of social pressures to look trim and it can lead to eating disorders. I guess the other questions I would have is how her grades are, and has she made friends?
Open up any issue of "Vogue", "Elle", or any fashion magazine to see where young women get this from. This is what popular culture tells them what is attractive - super thin and even addict like looks. There's more to it obviously.
One thing is control - she may feel that she may not have control over alot of things in life but her weight is one thing she can control.
I hope they can convince her, I was just pointing out that she might say no.
Point taken! Weekend FReegards!
So, see if it is possible that the diagnosis may be a rouse.
I suspect she would also, unless it is from drug use. Then the reaction might be the opposite. If she won't stay at home for bit, whatever the reason - then one parent should move up there with the daughter. Either way, the point is to be close.
WOW! I am impressed with all the good comments and advice. Freepville-what a great community.
I had anorexia in college. Is she the first born daughter? Sometimes it's caused from pressures at school. All the girls competing with one another to look the most beautiful.
Did you raise her in a pretty strict environment? If so, this is probably the only thing she thinks she has control of...what goes in or doesn't go in her mouth. Especially when their are so many pressures for her to perform everywhere else (home, school, etc). My root cause of my situation was I was subconsciously trying to seek the approval of my father. Make sure you shower her with compliments and unconditional love. She's on this quest of "performance for approval" and her weight is the only thing no one can control but herself.
Get her into counseling....it's a loss of self-esteem and worth. When I was going to college, all the girls would walk to the cafeteria for dinner. When we got back to the dorms, a line formed at the bathroom to throw up their dinner. ( I went to a private college in Malibu....everyone competing to be Malibu Barbie). Although I never resorted to purging like them, I ate very little and exercised at least 4-5 hours a day while attending almost 40 hours a week of classes and having 2 jobs. I never allowed myself more than 3 1/2 hours a night sleep....All a quest for perfection. What I really needed was counseling to tell me "I was okay the way I was and that failing at things, is okay if you tried your best". I never allowed myself to make mistakes or be imperfect. Let her know that everything is okay and that she is loved no matter what.
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