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The Republican Dictionary [For laughs!]
The Nation ^ | 12/21/04 | Katerina van den Heuvel

Posted on 01/02/2005 4:23:24 PM PST by BroncosFan

The Republican Dictionary: Part 3

12/21/2004 @ 5:49pm

This past November, I wrote about the right's semantic trickery and proposed an idea for how we could debunk and decode the conservative's Orwellian Code of encrypted language: A Republican Dictionary.

I put together a small list and asked readers to send me their own entries. Response has been overwhelming--more than 375 people have sent definitions.

I published a small sample of the entries I've received in this space earlier this month. Below I'm publishing a second batch of reader submissions to this on-going project. We're going to continue posting additional entries in the weeks ahead, so click here to suggest your contributions.

ALARMIST, n. Any respected scientist who understands the threat of global warming. (Dave Nold, Berkely, California)

ALLIES, n. Foreigners who do what Republicans tell them to do. (Gary Schroller, Bellaire, Texas)

BALANCED, adj. 1. favoring corporations (a more balanced approach to the environment.); 2. favoring conservatives (fair and balanced reporting). (Scott Davis, Grand Prairie, Texas)

CLASS WARFARE, n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage. (Don Zwier, Grayslake, Illinois)

COALITION, n. One or more nations whose leaders have been duped, pressured or bribed into supporting ill-conceived, unnecessary, under-planned and/or illegal US military operations. (Michael Shapiro, Honolulu, Hawaii)

CONVICTION, n. Making decisions before getting the facts, and refusing to change your mind afterward. (Paul Ruschmann, Canton, Michigan)

CULTURE OF LIFE, n. A reduction of reproductive freedoms. (Sean Sturgeon, Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada)

DEMOCRACY, n. My way or the highway. (Daniel Quinn, London, UK)

ECONOMIC RECOVERY, n. When three out of five software engineers who lost their jobs to outsourcing are able to find part-time work at Wal-Mart. (Rob Hotman , Houston, Texas)

ELECTION FRAUD, n. Counting every vote. (Sean O'Brien, Chicago, Illinois)

GIRLY MEN, n. Those who do not grope women. (Nick Gill, Newton, MA)

HARD WORK, n. What Republicans say when they can't think of anything better. (Brian McDowell)

HEALTHY FORESTS, n. No tree left behind. (Ron Russell, San Francisco, California)

JOB GROWTH, n. Increased number of jobs an individual has to take after losing earlier high-paying job. (John E. Tarin, Arlington, Virginia)

JUNK SCIENCE, n. Sound science. (Geoffrey King, Austin, TX)

OFFICE OF FAITH-BASED INITIATIVES, n. Christian Right payoff. (Michael Gendelman, Fair Haven, New Jersey)

OWNERSHIP SOCIETY, n. A society in which no one ever needs to own up to their mistakes or the consequences of their actions. (Sharon Gallagher, New York, New York)

PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTION, n. A non-medical term invented by anti-choice zealots that refers to a broad class of abortion procedures; employed as a first step in reversing Roe v. Wade. (David McNeely, Lutz, Florida)

POLITICAL CAPITAL, n. What a Republican president receives as a result of a razor-thin margin of victory in an election. (Joy Losee, Gainesville, Georgia)

PRESS CONFERENCE, n. A rare event designed for the President to brag about his prowess as a leader while simultaneously dodging difficult questions. (Jim Nidositko, Westfield, New Jersey)

REFORM, n. Rollback of New Deal reforms, laws, standards and social protections. (Nick Gill, Newton, MA)

RESOLUTE, adj. Pig-headed. (Paul Ruschmann, Carlton, MI)

SMALL BUSINESS OWNER, n. rich person (Michael Mannella, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

SOCIAL SECURITY REFORM, n. Leave no Wall Street broker behind. (Ann Klopp , Princeton, NJ)

STAYING THE COURSE, v., The act of being stubborn and unable to admit glaring policy mistakes; being wrong and sticking with the wrong idea regardless of the consequences. (Jillian Jorgensen, Staten Island, New York)

TAX SIMPLIFICATION, n. A way to make it simpler for large US corporations to export American jobs to avoid paying US taxes. (Seth Hammond, Goodwell, Oklahoma)

VERY CLEAR, adj. Modifier used immediately before any preposterous explanation or rationale. (Lance L. Prata, Eastlake Weir, Florida)


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: breakdown; humor; insane; liberals
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I wonder if The Nation cooked up a drinking game to go along with this?
1 posted on 01/02/2005 4:23:25 PM PST by BroncosFan
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To: BroncosFan
already posted here
2 posted on 01/02/2005 4:26:10 PM PST by NutCrackerBoy
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To: BroncosFan
THE REOUBLICAN DICTIONARY, n.: A form of dreary, tedious, unfunny, mental masturbation for clueless Democrats who still haven't gotten over the 2000 election. Something for them to read in the can during West Wing commercial breaks so they don't have to suffer even one minute of reality.
3 posted on 01/02/2005 4:31:23 PM PST by Maceman (Too nuanced for a bumper sticker)
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To: Maceman

The Democrats are desperate once again. If this is the best the Left can come up with, then bring on 2006


4 posted on 01/02/2005 4:37:09 PM PST by wmileo
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To: BroncosFan

BTTT


5 posted on 01/02/2005 4:38:26 PM PST by Fiddlstix (This Tagline for sale. (Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: NutCrackerBoy; BroncosFan

And we did have our fun with the newly-departed cfhBAMA.


6 posted on 01/02/2005 4:40:48 PM PST by SmithL (People who are willing to accept everything, don't believe in anything.)
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To: BroncosFan

I don't even know where to begin. Maybe TRUTH: Anything the left refuses to acknowledge.


7 posted on 01/02/2005 4:41:44 PM PST by vpintheak (Liberal = The antithesis of Freedom and Patriotism)
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To: BroncosFan

Any number of responses come quickly to mind, but...why bother?


8 posted on 01/02/2005 4:46:07 PM PST by chiller (DONE: Gore, taxes, terrorism,Kerry, Old Media. TO DO: Judges, IRS, Soc.Sec.,borders..)
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To: BroncosFan

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! This is the most hilarious thing I've EVER SEEN!!! Junk science: sound science! That's side-splitting! Oh, liberals, you have such masterful comic wits!


9 posted on 01/02/2005 4:46:09 PM PST by marsh_of_mists
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To: BroncosFan

already posted and its not funny


10 posted on 01/02/2005 4:51:56 PM PST by GeronL (I am NOT the real bin Laden)
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To: BroncosFan

How sad and how unfunny. Vanden Heuval meant this to be humorous, scathing, biting wit. A commie calling conservatives "orwellian" stands history on its head. Orwell would use The Nation as **swipe and so should we all.


11 posted on 01/02/2005 4:55:34 PM PST by Shisan ("The law is the true embodiment of everything that's excellent...")
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To: BroncosFan

"SMALL BUSINESS OWNER, n. rich person (Michael Mannella, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)"

Now how'd they sneak that one in? :-D


12 posted on 01/02/2005 4:55:58 PM PST by Theresawithanh
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Comment #13 Removed by Moderator

To: Pookyhead

LEFTY - n. Someone who eats kookoopuffs for breakfast every day, and stays kookoo all day.

Just one of the defs, courtesy of TwithanH!


14 posted on 01/02/2005 5:11:31 PM PST by Theresawithanh
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To: BroncosFan

I keep looking in Websters here... those definitions look to be completely wrong. Who put that together again?




/end sarcasm
//did you really need the end sarcasm?


15 posted on 01/02/2005 6:12:17 PM PST by W.B.DaBread
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Comment #16 Removed by Moderator

Comment #17 Removed by Moderator

To: BroncosFan
FUNNY, adj.: what "the Republican Dictionary" isn't.
18 posted on 01/02/2005 8:09:44 PM PST by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle (I feel more and more like a revolted Charlton Heston, witnessing ape society for the very first time)
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To: BroncosFan
Hmm a bunch of clueless individuals send in their clueless definitions to try to impress the clueless readers who will cluelessly agree with it and cluelessly show support and thereby starting the cycle of cluelessness all over again. I guess there is something remotely funny about a self perpetuating cycle of cluelessness.
19 posted on 01/02/2005 8:59:59 PM PST by Ksnavely
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To: BroncosFan
PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTION, n. A non-medical term invented by anti-choice zealots that refers to a broad class of abortion procedures; employed as a first step in reversing Roe v. Wade. (David McNeely, Lutz, Florida)

Wow. They really are mentally ill. Or is it evil?

What normal, sane, person would choose to murder their unborn child?!!

I can't understand how it can be legal for someone to murder their unborn child. It's a living, breathing, baby - growing every day - heart is beating, legs are kicking, arms are moving - even sucking its thumb! - how can you kill a living baby?!!

20 posted on 01/02/2005 11:00:03 PM PST by my_pointy_head_is_sharp
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