Posted on 01/11/2005 6:46:32 AM PST by mhking
Religious Action Figures? Huh?
In the same vein as HanoverBaptist.org and Betty "I'm A Better Christian Than You" Bowers, comes the apparently fictional Jesus Christ Superstore. The primary item up for "sale" are action figures for all the world's major religions.
The Christian section includes figures of "God Almighty," complete with Kingdom-Come Kalashnikov AK-47 assault rifle and wearing the "Hallowed cloak of invulnerability." There are also figures of "The Pope" (with Holy Cross Kali sticks, 'Meek and Mild' Walther PPK handgun and wearing his blood red Vatican Assault uniform) and Jesus Christ (includes Ninja-Messiah throwing nails and Death Killer-Cross pump action over-under shotgun).
Christians aren't the only ones these folks have gone after. Buddhists (Buddha, with Fighting Staff of Meditation, Magnum66 automatic Nirvana pistol, and Invincible Holy Orange Cape of Enlightenment; and Dalhi Lama, with 'Tibetan terror'AK-12 automatic machine pistol, Magnum66 automatic Nirvana pistol (complete with transcendental silencer), also fire and forget self-enlightening laser), Hindus (Krishna, with 'Jungly Colt' 45 pistol and laser sighted automatic 'Ganesh-garnish' S&W with silencer; and Shiva, In Four-Armed warrior incarnation with Untouchable-Toucher Uzi automatic), Jews (Chief Rabbi, with 'Kosher Kill' sniper automatic handgun and Jehova mklll silencer, also Staff of the Vengeful God), and even the vaunted 'religion of peace' (The Ayatollah, with Holy Struggle SZ-924 stun gun, 'Pokem' harpoon pistol and wearing Kohmeni Midnight Warrior yashmak; "Islamic Jihad," with Smith and Islamabad SLR rifle with 'Holy Vision' laser sight and plastic explosives included; and Allah, represented by an empty box and the caption "He who may not be shown") are shown.
Each figure has a caption above it, from "Cosmic Warrior and lover of many women" above the Krishna figure to "His is the kingdom, the power and the glory" above the God Almighty figure. Some of them might be considered to be out of line ("the father, the son, and the bad motherf..." over the Jesus Christ figure), but I'm guessing that this is the "next" religious satire site to try to offend everybody. After all, their overall slogan is "Putting the fun back into fundamentalism and laughter into sectarian slaughter."
Just damn.
If you want on the list, FReepmail me. This IS a high-volume PING list...
Poke equal amounts of fun at Mo' ham head and the moon goddess/god and see what happens...faster than you can say holy jihaad bat guano
Okay, I feel terrible about this, but I think it's funny!
C'mon! I like Buddy Christ!
Do they have the Jesse Jackson figure, fornicating with his mistress?
I love Archie McPhee. I gave all my female friends the Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure for Christmas. We are all crazy cat ladies in training so it is our icon.
After watching the Passion of the Christ last Ash Wednesday I can't find this kind of stuff funny any more. Also, I threw away my copy of The Life of Brian. Not a stick in the mud mind you, just don't find it funny any more.
Personally, I like how Allah's a no-show.
These will go fantastic with "My Dinner With Andre" action figures.
I post the Crazy Cat Lady on lots of kitty threads. Still, though - only six cats? She must be a bit new at it.
BTW, want to be added to the Kitty Ping List?
I think it has a lot to do with the toy creators desire to not be dead.
It was a good movie, though.
-good Thames, G.J.P.(Jr.)
Perhaps you meant LandoverBaptist.org? Because, try as I might, I see nothing 'wrong' with HanoverBaptist.org. :-)
Jackie Mason is one of my favorite guest voices on "The Simpsons."
It needs to be done! :)
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