Why Can't My Moms Marry?

Toronto Star ^ | February 18, 2005 | Matthew Eaton-Kent

[doug from upland]

Whey can't your mom marry a goat if she loves it and makes a commitment?

[Smartaleck]

" I was not going to give my organizer to my dad because I didn't have one."

A lot of kids don't. Divorce, Viet Nam, Iraq, 911....

[UpHereEh]

It goes without saying that anything spewed from the extreme-left Toronto Star has a barf alert. They're the northern version of the NYT.

[Old North State]

I think the story would have been better if they made her an Indian and disabled too.

[Protagoras]

This kid doesn't exist IMO.

It doesn't pass the smell test.

[doug from upland]

However, there is something that makes my family different from a lot of families. The difference is that my parents have never been married.
===================================================

No, Matthew, what is different is that there are two few testicles in the house.

[Loyalist]

Mr. Eaton-Kent:

This essay gets an F for composition, and an F+ for ignorance of rudimentary biology.

Next time, write something of interest to people who live somewhere other than Church & Wellesley.

[BigCinBigD]

They are not your "parents".

[BibChr]

They can, of course. Any available, willing man they choose.

Minimal moral sanity, of course, prevents them from calling anything they might do with toaster ovens, geese, horses, children, corpses, or other women "marriage." But that's pretty much of a "duh."

But they can marry.

Dan
Biblical Christianity BLOG

[Protagoras]

Whey can't your mom marry a goat if she loves it and makes a commitment?

When I asked him if he knew his mother was sleeping with a goat, he said " Naaaaaaahhhh, Naaaaaahhhh."

[dead]

It's been hurtful to my sister and me, too. Very hurtful!

How exactly does the failure of the state to stamp “Approved!” on the union of the two women who raised him cause him pain? It’s not just “hurtful,” it’s “very hurtful!” but I’d like to know how, exactly, this non-recognition inflicts this pain on him and his sister.

What is the mechanism of this pain, and how will a mere change in nomenclature relieve it?

[Pookee]

Maybe poor Matthew didn't think this through - but even if his moms were to marry, he still doesn't get to chisel dad into his next father's day gift. Very, very hurtful.

[edcoil]

I believe I have found the solution. Have gay men marry gay women - there, your married. You simply choose to have an open marriage and sleep with your same sex partner.

Since she is a lesbo, she will not care you are sleeping with a man.

You gay folks need to get together and solve this.

[tumblindice]

From a rhetorical standpoint, I'd give this emotional appeal, oh, a 5.5 out of 10: nice beat, easy to dance to.
But the answer? `Cause they both be ladies, Matt, eh?

[Loyalist]

This kid doesn't exist IMO. It doesn't pass the smell test.

Come to think of it, his last name sounds like a really tasteless pun.

[<1/1,000,000th%]

The author should just marry his moms.

[Carry_Okie]

This is one confused kid.

[evets]

Heather has two mommies....

but one of them is her dad. Simple.

[Lazamataz]

Why Can't My Moms Marry?

(Exaggerated Asian accent)

Because one-a of dem is missing dee PEEEE-nis.