Mandela: Michael Jackson gives me strength (Satire)

JWR ^ | 3-30-05 | Andy Borowitz

[FlyLow]

Former South African President Nelson Mandela said today that thinking about Michael Jackson gave him strength during the many years he was imprisoned and that the King of Pop continues to be a source of inspiration to him today.

“When you are behind bars with no hope of release, you need to find strength wherever you can,” President Mandela said in an exclusive interview with a Danish magazine. “Personally, I found strength in Michael Jackson.”

The former South African president said that while imprisoned in the 1980’s, he drew emotional sustenance from following Michael Jackson’s recording career.

“It took great courage to leave the Jackson Five and go solo,” President Mandela said. “I thought to myself, if he had the courage to do that, I, too, must have the will to go on.”

Even to this day, President Mandela said, Michael Jackson is “a constant source of inspiration” to him, adding, “When I am not drawing strength from Michael Jackson, I am drawing strength from Martha Stewart.”

Mr. Jackson received kind words from another international icon today, the boxer Muhammad Ali, who today told a Norwegian newspaper today that he, too, draws inspiration from the platinum-selling recording artist.

[flutters]

[Kenton]

How much did that cost MJ?

Nuttin', Wally. The story is a joke, a satire on Michael Jackson's comments in an interview yesterday comparing his current predicament to Nelson Mandela's suffering in prison. He also compared himself to Muhammad Ali.

[GianniV]

Nelson Mandela is a friggin' Communist. Not that that is ever reported in the US media.

[Lekker 1]

When you are behind bars with no hope of release, you need to find strength wherever you can,” President Mandela said

He was offered freedom many times if only he would denounce the terrorism that his African National Congress was involved in. He wouldn't do it...so in prison he stayed.

[cyborg]

exactly

[demkicker]

Well since Mandella apprears to worship and admire Michael Jackson, I wouldn't be sad to read the headline that he has AIDS.

[Eric in the Ozarks]

Mandela has truly lost his mind.

[OldEagle]

"Is he gay?"

I don't know, but he was in jail for a long time and he has/had a strange wife. But, really who cares?

[Rummyfan]

“It took great courage to leave the Jackson Five and go solo,” President Mandela said. “I thought to myself, if he had the courage to do that, I, too, must have the will to go on.”

Are you sure this isn't from SCRAPPLEFACE?

[maxter]

barf.

[Lazamataz]

Mandela draws strength from the travails of a pedophile???

Mandela is nucking futz.

[CzarNicky]

I always thought Mandela was an idiot. This confirms it.

[Lazamataz]

And since the world has gone so nuts, it sounded just about right :-)

I no longer look at improbable headlines and assume satire.

I now look at improbable headlines and assume leftists at work.

[Imaverygooddriver]

Well if he`s gay he should come out and dance! Dance silly! Wooee!

[sarasota]

I thought I was reading Scrappleface.

[Fintan]

So...does this mean Mandela likes to diddle little boys too???

[Wally_Kalbacken]

Hardly suspected it. MJ is in an imaginary world and has said so many absurd things - this one had facial credibility. Oops.

Two instances which are true about MJ that just shock the sensibilities:

1. He was quoted as saying that Elizabeth Taylor was his "rock" of sound advice and guidance. When you rely on someone as physically, emotionally and pharmaceutically f***ed up as Elizabeth Taylor - you're in trouble!
2. Back in the late 80's or early 90's People Magazine published a letter it received from Michael Jackson. They published an image of the handwritten letter n one page and on the facing page they published a transcript for ease or reading - since the handwriting was rather cryptic. The important part of that letter was the fact that it betrayed such a malformed ability to communicate - the sentences were of about 2nd grade complexity and the word choice was bizarre and infantile. My point is that reading this letter you could hardly believe he was capable of writing even the lyrics to his songs. And I have always suspected this was the case. When it all comes down for him, and perhaps soon, we will discover how much ghostwriting and standing in has been done for him and how much of a reduced profile he will have, in the end as an "artist".

[Mr. K]

I had to check to make sure this wasn't posted from ScrappleFace.com