Posted on 05/03/2005 7:36:10 PM PDT by GeekDejure
Hello Freepers... it's Alex (GeekDekure) here...
Laura, my darling wife of 30 wonderful years, has been in the hospital, dying from the devastating effects of severe cancer. I talked to her on the phone at 5:00 this evening. I told her I'd be at her bedside on Wednesday morning at 11:00. In a quiet, muffled, fast breathing voice she said, "That may be too late!"
Later... at 7:45... I received a call from Laura's son, Mark. "Sorry to have to tell you, Alex... Mom died at 7 o'clock !!!"
Freepers... I really feel like a totally useless piece of sh!t. Good grief... I couldn't even be at my wife's bedside when she died !!! Eeeyuch... just another reason for me to hate myself... and no, I surely don't need therapy. I'll live with it privately until I eventually join her in Heaven above !!!
Laura and I are followers of Yahweh (the true Name of the Most High). And despite losing her to the cancerous infestation that finally overtook her ability to survive, I am still convinced that the Force ( Yahweh ) is with us !!!
click...click... Alex (GeekDejure) ;-((
I am so sorry for your loss. Your wife knows your heart.
Take comfort in that. I will keep you in my prayers.
Tammy
Greek prayers are going out to now. Remember she will always be in your heart.
consider yourself hugged
Prayers for you and your family.
That's very sad. I'm sorry for your loss. Imagining myself in the same situation is overwhelming, so I cannot comprehend what you are going through. But do not be critical of yourself -- while you weren't physically with your wife, I'm sure your thoughts were always on her.
You should be proud. A 30 year marriage is wonderful. You have kept your vow to be married until death and that is increasingly rare. Be sad but do not hate yourself. You sound like a good man and you have been blessed.
WHAT A HORRENDOUS WHAM!
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!
My heart goes out to you and your family.
Glad your wife is out of pain but what a wham to not be there, for you.
However, she knows better than you now, what the real priorities in life and death are. She knew your heart.
We do what we can. We have to trust YAHWEH with the rest of it.
Anyway--God's best comfort, peace, hope, provision, safety, rest, hope . . . HIMSELF to you.
God be with you.
Prayers,
LUB
Q
God bless and comfort you Alex. I have not been able to be present when some of my loved ones died. I never blamed myself or anyone else. Be comforted that you shared love and life. Be at peace if you can.
All who believe were with your wife by the millions in spirit when she died.
You still have things that you are needed for on earth.
May the Angels of Paradise lead her into Abraham's Bosom.
May God strengthen and comfort you in the days to come.
My prayers are with both of you.
I'm so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers. God bless you.
It is sufficient that you were with her during her life. May G-d comfort you in mourning.
Prayers for you, and for your family in your time of loss.
That's heartbreaking. Prayer bump
I'm sorry for your loss.
"There is a divinity that shapes our ends
Rough-hew them as we will."
—Hamlet v.2.
We all rough-hew our lives and our relationships with others; but there is an agency which transcends human understanding and polishes the result. One can not be blamed for not knowing the unknowable. May we all find serenity through accepting what we cannot change, courage to move on and continue our rough-hewn endeavours, and wisdom to not blame ourselves in not being able to polish the form of destiny.
Prayers up for you and your family. I understand your frustration, my wife was unable to be with her mother when she died of cancer a couple of weeks ago. (We had no way of knowing when the end would come.)
We all do what we can for our loved ones, even if we can not be perfect and sometimes it seems we can not manage to do enough. Please do not burden yourself with guilt for not being perfect - that particular job was taken long before either of us was born.
Don't beat yourself up. It's normal to feel guilty when someone very close to you dies, but not helpful. There are all the things we could have said, and all the things we could have done..... I didn't get back intime to see my Mom when she died -- I was in denial that she was dying....
She was married to you for 30 years, so I'm sure she understands. She knows that you would have been there had you known, so you have to forgive yourself. She does not want to see you suffer. Give your problems to the Lord & he will help you, by lifting the heavy burden from your shoulders.
LauraleeBraswell; hoagy62; A CA Guy; sarasmom; Billthedrill; SittinYonder; cdtracing; Howlin; Brad's Gramma; Rhiannon; nhoward14; infidel29; MOgirl; dutchess; b4its2late; USMC Veteran; eXe; Nice50BMG; stboz; texasflower; LauraJean; fourscore; Born and Razed in America; Quix; Enterprise; Right Wing Assault; miele man; pbrown; af_vet_1981; sockmonkey; softwarecreator; reagan_fanatic; Tribune7; Corin Stormhands ======
Thank you all for your prayers, your kind words, and your good wishes.
I just spoke to the nurse on duty with Laura. She said Laura sent her after some food, and when she returned she found that Laura had purposely removed her oxygen tube... thereby causing her to quickly suffocate to death !!!
Guess that's what she meant earlier when she said, "That may be too late!" Apparently she had an exit plan !!!
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