Posted on 09/18/2005 3:05:48 AM PDT by Caipirabob
Over a casual dinner, Rachel Kaplan turned to her boyfriend and asked, "You're open for a prenup, right?"
Darren Waldohlz, 38, a partner in a successful speed-dating business, admits he was caught off guard. But he said he realized a prenuptial agreement would protect the house he owns, too.
"It's not that I plan to get divorced," says Kaplan, 23, a single mom from Fort Lauderdale, who has a sizable inheritance. "I have to protect myself and my daughter."
While men are still more likely to seek a prenup, "women are becoming a more dominant force," said attorney Alan Braverman, who has offices in Fort Lauderdale and Boynton Beach.
Experts attribute the change to women marrying later or more than once.
"It's not uncommon in today's world that women are entering marriages with assets and stock options," said matrimonial attorney Jacqueline Valdespino, in Coral Gables. "Now both sides have equal bargaining power."
(Excerpt) Read more at sun-sentinel.com ...
According to the "men" here it's the women's fault for their troubles. Of course that's been the excuse since Eve ate the forbidden fruit. ( I discount the few sane and common sense fellas who chime in from the "men", so as not to paint with a broad brush the behaviors of a few.)
I'm serious when I say I'm watching this like it's playing out 1000 years ago...
A no baggage woman simply translates into why men wanted virgins fresh outta daddy's house. A blank slate where he can be the only writer to make is mark, physically, mentally and emotionally (though he can look like a warmap).
It is a bizarre double standard.
Can't you see how the burqa came into being?
"I can't pray, I'm distracted, it's all HER fault!" So she got covered up, and still caught all the blame for what he thought, felt, wanted to do....
She still does to this day.
And as soon as he gets her pregnant I guess he resents her for the baggage that now makes her feel a ~need~ to stay with him. After all, his formerly unencumbered bride now just wants a father for her children, and he's ~still~ the hapless victim.
I guess once you have kids, whether you're married or not, you can no longer be a good companion and spouse for another person.... it's all just about entrapment from there on out.
Preposterous.
Yes I can. I survived my parents horrible divorce. My father was one of those who blamed my mother for all of his problems. He failed to look at WHY she left, like it was to keep us from being his punching bag. There's usually three sides to every story, his, hers and the truth.
Indeed it is a bizaare double standard!
With everything bad that has come with the feminists movement, their are good things as well. I don't believe Condoleezza Rice would be where she is today had it not been for the feminists and the civil rights movement. Michelle Malkin is another example.
It's more than kids that get labled as baggage for a woman...
Baggage isn't all negative.
If she's had any other relationships,
If she's had any other life experiences that doesn't include him.
If she doesn't present herself as a blank slate without any expections or desires.
Baggage for a woman translates into "I can look at you and compare you to others, maybe even see you as you really are."
And that, IMHO, is why men are terrified of it. It's that primal, territorial, competitive thing....meaning she, that female that makes him feel out of control, can reject him and find him wanting based on what she knows of other men.
But I could be wrong ;)
Whenever I've lent money to a girlfriend, she doesn't get a dime unless she signs an IOU.
And if she doesn't like it, she can walk and do her bawling somewhere else.
And I've always gotten my money back.
And in the case pf marriage, I'd definitely have the lawyers lined up before I'd ever get married.
Further, I would never let anyone know exactly how well off I am. It should be enough for them to know I do OK.
It is a double standard, and a wise one.
Explain why it's a wise double standard.
Ah yes, that sinking feeling. You're lucky the marriage only lasted 6 months. Did you have it annulled?
You might be right, but I hate to go too far down that road.
I just wish ~people~ would get off the high horse and realize that neither men nor women have bought into some great plan to beat the other one, in fact, most of us would like to be happily paired up.
But it's not easy for either sex, as many flaws as there are to love :~D
We live and learn. That might be why I waited 14 years after the divorce before I remarried.
No, we went the divorce route. Debbie had the chance to take anything she wanted to pay for. What she didn’t want I kept.
She didn’t want to pay for anything.
Nope.
Men have baggage too. Everybody has baggage.
Some people have baggage small enough to fit "under the seat in front of you or in the overhead compartment" and some people have enough baggage to fill a Mayflower moving van plus a medium sized U-Haul truck.
Some baggage, when combined, may be complimentary and help strenthen a marriage. Some baggage, when combined, may be downright toxic.
That is why it's important to do a Baggage Check before marriage and not pretend that the baggage does not exist.
Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
Your executor will need to know, whether you will have a loved one to leave it to is the unknown. ;~D
Amen to that. Both men and women are flawed.
And some are wonderful :~D
But a man can never be sure when his woman becomes pregnant, that the baby is his.
And so a wise man knows that a woman who refuses to have sex with anyone until marriage, is a woman more likely to be faithful after marriage--for she strictly follows the rules.
Were it otherwise, a woman who finds excuses to have sex prior to marriage, will find it easier to find excuses to have sex outside of her marriage.
Such a woman shows she is weak and more likely to make excuses to herself to break rules when temptation comes along.
I would never marry a woman who had sex with me before I married her.
But I would have sex with her.
Oh yes...my hubby is a regular "Mr. Wonderful" and I'm being sincere when I say that.
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