More women are asking for prenups

Sun Sentinel ^ | September 18, 2005 | Georgia East

[Caipirabob]

Over a casual dinner, Rachel Kaplan turned to her boyfriend and asked, "You're open for a prenup, right?"

Darren Waldohlz, 38, a partner in a successful speed-dating business, admits he was caught off guard. But he said he realized a prenuptial agreement would protect the house he owns, too.

"It's not that I plan to get divorced," says Kaplan, 23, a single mom from Fort Lauderdale, who has a sizable inheritance. "I have to protect myself and my daughter."

While men are still more likely to seek a prenup, "women are becoming a more dominant force," said attorney Alan Braverman, who has offices in Fort Lauderdale and Boynton Beach.

Experts attribute the change to women marrying later or more than once.

"It's not uncommon in today's world that women are entering marriages with assets and stock options," said matrimonial attorney Jacqueline Valdespino, in Coral Gables. "Now both sides have equal bargaining power."

[Ajnin]

LOL. I have car inusrance as well because not only have I been in an accident but I know that a future accidents are possible. I don't have a prenup because I know beyond a shadow of any doubt that I will not be getting a divorce.

[nopardons]

I too am a Christian and ALL Christian tenents state that men and women should remain pure/VIRGINS until marriage. There's no citings, from Judaic laws, either, that says it's just hunky dory for men to cat around before marriage, either.

[thinking]

I would have to say, that it works both way...but, traditionally, mainly, the way it was...it was the male, that went into the workforce and was the "provider"...and upon the breakup of the marriage, was the spouse, that had the most to lose...

As far as your comments regarding, my objectiveness, I would suggest, that there may be 2 bigots on this forum...you and I...

[trussell]

I'm not the one saying that it is only one sex that goes to school for career reasons and has it all to lose when they get divorced.

I realize both sides can lose in a divorce...the worst part is when there are children involved...they are the biggest victims!

[Nowhere Man]

A bit off topic, yes, but an interesting and though provoking reply.

I know, it was a bit OT, but I was just stepping back from the topic and taking in a bigger picture, sort of looking at the forest instead of the individual trees so to speak. Basically, some people are cut out to be the Chiefs while some (many? most?) are just cut out to be just rank and file Indians and they tend to be happy that way. Some factors to consider are the desire to break out of the Indian mold and become a Chief with a big drive and some do that while others become Chiefs by luck, circumstances at birth, class and so on. In the case of the latter, sometimes they can still be good Chiefs other times, they are not. One good example of a "bad Chief" is Teddy Kennedy, he was born to be one but he falls very short.

Man, I'm wearing myself down, deep philosophy at this time of night, well it takes a lot of energy and I'm basically just chillin' now. HitmanNY, I still have to reply closer to the subject at hand, but it will have to wait until the weekend. B-)

[HitmanLV]

I agree with what you said here. But the suspense is killing me: are we basically of like mind on the issue at hand? :-)

[nopardons]

As usual, a most pleasant discussion; thanks. :-)

"Some are born great, while others have greatness thrust upon them". And some, ( I can think of quite a few ), may be born to greatness, but never make it.

[Centurion2000]

On the morning after she woke me up, pointed at the certificate on the wall and said, “Now you can’t leave me.” The marriage lasted 6 months.

Just Damn

[R. Scott]

Yep.

[Nowhere Man]

I agree with what you said here. But the suspense is killing me: are we basically of like mind on the issue at hand? :-)

Hmmm, well, I was thinking about going back to read what you wrote but instead I'll just type my own thoughts as I have them instead of being influenced. Many times I post before reading the whole thread so other thoughts will not prejudiced my mind if I do have an opinion on the subject.

When it comes to marriage and all that stuff, myself I hope to find a wife that is compatible with me and me with her. I know as in real life, some changes might be made to acheive that goal, I mean there is really no such thing as a perfect match and both sides do have to put effort in to the relationship to make it work but the idea is that you have some synergy (the result greater than the sum total, dang, there goes that engineering or technical talk again B-)) as the result of it.

I can only answer for me and my wishes and interests here, we are all different and we have different needs and desires. I'm looking for a good Christian woman who will love me for who I am and I will do so in return. Outer beauty is fine but what really counts is what is inside and character. I really don't want a woman who would put career first in front of the family's interest. Yes, she should have the smarts and skills to get by incase if I should croak or if I cannot make enough for the family to live on. Ideally, I do believe one parent should be at home with the kids all the time until the last one turns 6 years old and enters school and part time after that until they reach the mid to late teens. Being old fashioned I do prefer it to be the woman, generally women are better nuturers, although men can be too. I can accept a Mr. Mom in some families if the husband is better at it, myself, I can't see myself doing that, well, again, who knows when I get to that bridge. My cousin, she works and her husband raises the kids, in that case, I'm all for it, he makes a much better "mother" than she does, believe me, long story there. B-)

In short, if she is willing to put up with me, I'm OK with that. B-)

About standards before marriage and so on, I do believe that both men and women should abstain from sex until marriage. The standards apply equally to men and women. Well, in a world such as ours, sometimes that standard is not acheived and that is unfortunate, but on a personal level I do believe one can redeem themselves in front of God as well as with each other and as long as she is loyal to me while courting and during the marriage, I can accept that. Still though we do need high standards to aspire to and meet for the good of society. I just think that sex is the ultimate expression of love and loyalty between a man and a woman from the marriage night onward, it really isn't meant for recreation. If you want recreation, go fishing, fire up the Playstation, or whatever, but sex is not a recreational activity on the par of the former. I could never have sex with anyone I don't love or I'm not married to. Maybe I'm a weirdo to some, I don't see it that way myself, but I just adhere to high standards that God has set down as well as the standards for me.

I read some of what Age of Reason (ping you out of FR "netiquette") and he started off well about having those high standards but it seems like he would not follow them. I don't know what is on AOR's mind, if he truly believes it or justp laying devil's advocate and showing what the state of the majority in the workd is today, only he and God know what is on his mind. About the defination of the word "virgin," I know No Pardons (ping - dittoes) handed his head back to him on a silver platter. I'm not attacking AOR on that, but we do realize language changes over time. I don't even blame the feminists for that one, just think, our word for "car" as in automobile comes from "carriage" as in "horse and carriage." "Terrific" in the days of FDR could mean terrible but it means opposite now. Here in Pittsburgh, the word "ignorant" means "rude" but everywhere else it means "doesn't know any better" or "not aware." Don't ask me to explain why though. B-) I know No Pardons when it comes to words and such, she is very knowledgible, I say I'm pretty good myself, but I hate to match wits with her. B-)

I remember RCA 2000 (ping - dittoes) has made a good point to where there are times you need to let bitterness go and I do believe he is right. It can be tough at times, I went through the ringer once and got Hell for it, I told him the story a while back, I might have posted it here, not sure. I still feel some hurt but I say most bitterness is gone.

I leave it at this. I was job hunting for a better paying job for a long time and I just kept "rolling box cars and snake eyes." Nothing clicked. "Is there something wrong with me?" I kept asking for myself. I then prayed and asked God for His help and guidance in the job and economic situation I was in. I just figured where I kept banging my head against the wall so I asked for His help to where basically he would lead me and I'd take the co-pilot's seat for a while. A week later, I got a better job.

I've resolved to ask God for His guidance when it comes to my love life. Right now, I need to get my economic house in order so that takes the top priority now but He has and is helping me there so I'm sure He can lead me to the "right one" or her to me. I do hope to have children someday, I'm 39 ut if my wife cannot have kids if she is too old, well, we could always adopt, there are lots of kids out there that need homes.

Well, those are my thoughts, hope they came through 5 by 5. B-)

[nopardons]

The etymology of and the changes in definitions of words, is an interesting study/hobby. Sometimes there are no answers; just more questions.

I don't know when exactly it happened, but at some point in time, after 1965, in Mass., the word "wicked" came to mean something quite different from its original meaning. It was also, for some inexplicable reason, used as both adjective and adverb.

I suspect that something like this, took place in Pittsburgh re the word "ignorant".

[Lazamataz]

Well well well, now how about that. Najida, I know, is a good, honorable and very personable individual -- and yet LackOfVision, the jerk-bunny who's STILLLL GOING, finds a way to get into a pissing contest with her.

LackOfVision, you are a belligerent, ignorant a-hole. And there just ain't no cure for that disease.

[Lazamataz]

And you manage to get into it with HairOfTheDog, one of the nicest people I know!

LackOfVision, if one person calls you a duck, they are crazy. If two people call you a duck, it's a coincidence. If nearly everyone calls you a duck, start quacking and fly south in the winter.

[HairOfTheDog]

Ah geee.... :~D

Now I'm gonna have to be really nice today :~D

[Vision]

LackOfVision, you are a belligerent, ignorant a-hole. And there just ain't no cure for that disease.

You know, they have doctors who can help you work out personality problems like this nowadays

[Lazamataz]

You know, they have doctors who can help you work out personality problems like this nowadays

Unfortunately, there are no doctors that can help you with your personality problems.

Thorazine might at least stop the incoherent sputtering, though.

[najida]

Thank you hun!

Mah Hero! ;)

[Gazoo]

What if the man and woman already have kids want no more are divorced legit in the eyes of God or any Church for damned good reasons. They like enjoy sex and for some strange reason want to go dumb dumb dumb dumb?

[Gazoo]

What if the man and woman already have kids want no more are divorced legit in the eyes of God or any Church for damned good reasons. They like enjoy sex and for some strange reason want to go dumb dumb dumb dumb?

[zeebee]

Prenups are not just to protect you if divorcing.

Say I have a 5 year old daughter and my new wife has 4 grown kids. If I die, I would want to be sure my daughter has her college taken care of. Without a prenup, the assets would get split evenly.