Please freepmail me if you want on/off this list
Posted on 10/03/2005 4:50:08 PM PDT by NYer
Amen! Bump.
(I'd better beat it before the libertarians show up)
My girls are in their mid-twenties, educated, attractive and Catholic. I absolutely oppose any domestic relation with any boyfriends outside of marriage for all the good reasons cited here and they do not do it.
Come on now. Would you buy a car without giving it a test drive?
Everytime my MIL, FIL or SIL phone..it's all I hear about...SIL has 3 kids now with 2 different guys, first guy = total psycho, second guy is decent and wants to marry her...
I'm happy to avoid the daily soap opera that comes from the inlaws up in the Great White North...my wife and I are just fine in the US without them....
My thoughts exactly! But I suspect they (and their cohabiting partners and various kids) are out on the town tonight, celebrating the latest Supreme Court nomination.
"Other studies show that couples who had cohabited had less positive problem-solving behaviors and were, on average, less supportive of each other than those who had not cohabited. As well, researchers have found that couples who had cohabited before marriage had much higher rates of premarital violence than those who had not lived together. This premarital violence then leads to higher rates of marital violence, another factor related to divorce.
So they're once again confusing cause and effect. It is not cohabitation that makes them have poor character, it is their poor character that makes them chose cohabitation.
What is important is to be the sort of person who does get married, whether you actually do so or not.
Are they single? If yes, please freepmail me. (PS I'm not Catholic, but willing to convert)
Ah, (what passes for) a thought on lifelong commitment from one of our libertine libertarians!
A person is not a machine, and test driving a car is a highly overrated diagnostic event.
Yes, they are single, and if you met them, your willingness would increase exponentially.
Good point.
Now that's a sad state of affairs. No pun intended. In many of the instances I've seen of a single mom with boyfriend(s), the kids take a far-back-burner position while mom is preoccupied with her needs: love life, relationship issues, dating schedules, yada yada yada.
Yup, a sad state indeed.
Actually, I have. But it was a Toyota.:)
Cars are not expected to last a lifetime, in fact they get traded in every few years or so.
A man with a test drive attitude towards women demonstrates his inablility to view them as a person rather than as a utilitarian object to be replaced at whim.
" Ah, (what passes for) a thought on lifelong commitment from one of our libertine libertarians!"
I am in a lifelong commitment right now, but we cohabitated first. I see the value in a relationship going through a series of stages: non-exclusive dating, exclusive dating, sleeping over, co-habitation, then marriage (life-long commitment). It worked out very well for me and my wife. We learned a great deal at every stage. Would we have still succeeded had we gone straight from dating to marriage? Perhaps, but the jump would have been much bigger and more stressful to our relationship.
This isn't about a car. It's about a spouse. And it's about committing to a lifetime with that person in marriage.
Half-arsing it by living together first is just dumb. It sets patterns and creates lowered expectations before the marriage. Now flame away, but I'm being judgemental on this one.
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