Posted on 10/03/2005 4:50:08 PM PDT by NYer
And, of course, none of the pernicious effects of cohabitation (outlined in the study discussed in the article and in many other places) applies to your own relationship, I'm sure. In fact, if your marriage hits the skids and your kids are left in the lurch, I'm sure the fault will be somewhere else entirely . . . and will have nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that you regard your spouse as a machine of the type people trade away every few years. Nothing at all.
Go for it! Nothing wrong with that, especially when you've got your stuff together.
More than a third of married Americans (37%) say they lived with their spouse before getting married, while 63% say they did not. In 1988, just 19% said they lived with their spouse prior to marriage and 81% said they did not. [Dec. 27-29, 1988; Jul. 22-24, 2002] Gallup
"And, of course, none of the pernicious effects of cohabitation (outlined in the study discussed in the article and in many other places) applies to your own relationship, I'm sure. In fact, if your marriage hits the skids and your kids are left in the lurch, I'm sure the fault will be somewhere else entirely . . . and will have nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that you regard your spouse as a machine of the type people trade away every few years. Nothing at all."
You really take things much too seriously. The comment about test driving a car was a tongue-in-cheek analogy. It obviously didn't mean that I regard my wife as a machine.
I always hear liberals complain about how judgemental some conservatives are. Now I see the group of people they must be talking about.
Who are you to question my relationship with my wife, or judge our decision to live together before marriage?
Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
running away to don flame suit
It makes me sad that marriage is continually belittled by our current culture of death.
Although it shouldn't surprise me that the procreative holy sacrement of marriage is their favorite target.
I just bought a new car and only drove it for about 5 minutes.
I certainly don't think that living with someone is enough to know what that person would really be like. As the article said, there is no real commitment in that type of relationship and no incentive to try to work through problems.
"PS I'm not Catholic, but willing to convert"
I did, and I'm very happy about it. Instead of doubts, every day I discover more reasons that it was a good decision.
Come on in, and welcome!
Not to mention that most child abuse cases involve the boyfriend
"What is important is to be the sort of person who does get married, whether you actually do so or not."
Your statement is not entirely false, but it is partially false.
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
There is an interaction between what we do and what our character becomes.
Interesting subject ping
"Who are you to question my relationship with my wife, or judge our decision to live together before marriage?"
Who are you to think yourself above God's law?
That "leave the back door open" mentality carries over in the event there is a marriage. If you want the option to leave, you're more likely to leave.
That said, my hubby and I shacked up for 3 years before marriage and this November will be 19 years. I wouldn't trade him for anything.
sorry for your loss
I can understand the Canadians. They cohabit just to stay warm in the winter.
Good for you (and them)!
"Shack-ups want that back door open. That's why they shack-up instead of marry. No hassles, no legal obligations, no commitment. That "leave the back door open" mentality carries over in the event there is a marriage. If you want the option to leave, you're more likely to leave."
That's very true.
There's one more thing, too: whether they're dating, shacked up, or married, a relationship between two people is never the same after one of them has sex with a third person.
I'm not saying it can't be "worked through," worked out, forgiven...but their relationship changes, and not for the better.
A car is a car - a marriage is a lifetime commitment.
Get a clue.
LOL
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