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George Carlin on Katrina (funny)
email going around

Posted on 10/07/2005 6:16:59 AM PDT by Uncledave

Been sitting here with my ass in a wad, wanting to speak out about the bullshit going on in New Orleans. For the people of New Orleans... First we would like to say, Sorry for your loss. With that said, Lets go through a few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that..Get the hell out.

Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out... if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the Government's fault you're starving.

#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some.

(Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

#2b. If the local store has been looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's TV and stereo alone. (See # 2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff...it's theirs, not yours.

#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass who didn't leave when told to do so.

#4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave!

(It's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them)

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some good and join the Navy.

#6. Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million years).

#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Wal-Mart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living.

President Kennedy said it best..."Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

Thank you for allowing me to rant.

George Carlin


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: blacks; carlin; gallowshumor; georgecarlin; humor; ibetitsfake; icantfindchat; katrina; myemailisnews
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1 posted on 10/07/2005 6:17:00 AM PDT by Uncledave
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To: Uncledave

I seriously doubt this is from George Carlin. He would have been ranting about the US troops in Iraq.


2 posted on 10/07/2005 6:18:16 AM PDT by dfwgator (Flower Mound, TX)
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To: Uncledave
Some good points in the article but I heard this isn't really Carlin.
3 posted on 10/07/2005 6:18:54 AM PDT by varyouga (Reformed Kerry voter (I know, I'm a frickin' idiot))
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To: Uncledave

One thing is absolutely certain: George Carlin didn't write this.


4 posted on 10/07/2005 6:19:20 AM PDT by wideawake (God bless our brave troops and their Commander-in-Chief)
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To: Uncledave

I have a feeling George Carlin didn't write this...


5 posted on 10/07/2005 6:20:12 AM PDT by Living Free in NH
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To: Uncledave
#6. Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million years).


Thought he was a lib... guess not.
6 posted on 10/07/2005 6:20:18 AM PDT by LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget (God punishes Conservatives by making them argue with fools.)
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To: varyouga

I doubt it's Carlin too. It's probably another fraud email like the "I'm a bad American" email that circulated a few years ago that was incorrectly attributed to him.


7 posted on 10/07/2005 6:20:31 AM PDT by VA_Gentleman
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To: Uncledave

Not nearly funny enough to be Carlin.


8 posted on 10/07/2005 6:20:46 AM PDT by Wolfie
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To: Uncledave

No, it's from Ted Nugent/Dennis Miller/Andy Rooney.


9 posted on 10/07/2005 6:21:08 AM PDT by avg_freeper (Gunga galunga. Gunga, gunga galunga)
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To: dfwgator

Me too.


10 posted on 10/07/2005 6:21:32 AM PDT by netmilsmom (God blessed me with a wonderful husband.)
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To: Uncledave

Uh, sorry, but no way George Carlin authored this. I ain't buyin'.


11 posted on 10/07/2005 6:22:07 AM PDT by Obadiah (Support Harriet Miers!)
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To: Wolfie
Not nearly funny enough to be Carlin.

You mean Carlin in his prime, sadly that was many years ago.

12 posted on 10/07/2005 6:22:31 AM PDT by dfwgator (Flower Mound, TX)
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To: dfwgator

Also doubt this is from George Carlin (sounds more like Nathan Porter)... but I did enjoy it.


13 posted on 10/07/2005 6:22:53 AM PDT by silverleaf (Fasten your seat belts- it's going to be a BUMPY ride.)
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To: dfwgator

Comedy is subjective. No sense arguing about it.


14 posted on 10/07/2005 6:23:26 AM PDT by Wolfie
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To: Uncledave

Definitely not Carlin unless he has had a brain transplant.


15 posted on 10/07/2005 6:23:28 AM PDT by Millie
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To: LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget
Thought he was a lib... guess not.

You guessed right the first time.

There's no way this is from Carlin.

16 posted on 10/07/2005 6:23:37 AM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: Uncledave

LOL and a breath of fresh air, from George. . .


17 posted on 10/07/2005 6:23:52 AM PDT by cricket (No Freedom - No Peace)
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Comment #18 Removed by Moderator

To: dfwgator
I thought Ted Nugent said this!!!!

(Or maybe it was Mark Twain)

19 posted on 10/07/2005 6:24:29 AM PDT by Tribune7
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To: Uncledave

I doubt that George Carlin wrote this.

(but I will be passing it on as his anyway)


20 posted on 10/07/2005 6:24:44 AM PDT by linkinpunk
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To: Uncledave
Snopes is saying (as of now) it was written by a blues guitarist from NO. Still being researched......

http://www.snopes.com/katrina/soapbox/boudreaux.asp
21 posted on 10/07/2005 6:24:49 AM PDT by jdm
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To: avg_freeper

I'll wager that George will morph into Ted over the next few days.


22 posted on 10/07/2005 6:24:52 AM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: Obadiah

Carlin is way to big a Lefty to suggest people should work for a living.


23 posted on 10/07/2005 6:25:07 AM PDT by Eric in the Ozarks (Troubled by NOLA looting ? You ain't seen nothing yet.)
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To: PBRSTREETGANG

I wouldn't say Carlin is necessarily a Lib, he blasts them as much as conservatives. But lately Carlin has had a lot of vitriol for religion in general. He has turned into a bitter old man. His wife died a few years back and I think that's really when he got dark.


24 posted on 10/07/2005 6:25:42 AM PDT by dfwgator (Flower Mound, TX)
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To: Uncledave

This is a better rant.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


George Bush speech yesterday on Katrina (funny)
email going around


Posted on 10/07/2005 8:16:59 AM CDT by Uncledave


Been sitting here, wanting to speak out about the bullshit going on in New Orleans. For the people of New Orleans... First we would like to say, Sorry for your loss. With that said, Lets go through a few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that..Get the hell out.

Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out... if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the Government's fault you're starving.

#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some.

(Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

#2b. If the local store has been looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's TV and stereo alone. (See # 2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff...it's theirs, not yours.

#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass who didn't leave when told to do so.

#4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave!

(It's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them)

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some good and join the Navy.

#6. Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million years).

#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Wal-Mart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living.

President Kennedy said it best..."Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

Thank you for allowing me to rant


25 posted on 10/07/2005 6:28:10 AM PDT by CHICAGOFARMER (Conceal Carry)
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To: Uncledave

No way this is Carlin.


26 posted on 10/07/2005 6:29:12 AM PDT by fizziwig
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To: avg_freeper

> Ted Nugent/Dennis Miller/Andy Rooney

It does sound like Dennis Miller. Andy Rooney, to put kindly, has been showing his age lately. I have never heard a Ted Nugent rant.

But I think the point was to put it into the mouth of a lib so they would read it.


27 posted on 10/07/2005 6:29:12 AM PDT by cloud8
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To: Tribune7
I thought Ted Nugent said this!!!!

Wrong again. It's something Churchill said to Lady Astor.

28 posted on 10/07/2005 6:29:20 AM PDT by PMCarey
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To: Uncledave

Not Carlin, but some good common sense none the less. I expect these to start coming into my mailbox any moment....


29 posted on 10/07/2005 6:29:22 AM PDT by Musket
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To: avg_freeper

Andy Rooney is so senile he could not pour pee out of a boot with the directions on the heel.


30 posted on 10/07/2005 6:30:03 AM PDT by Piquaboy (22 year veteran of the Army, Air Force and Navy, Pray for all our military .)
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To: dfwgator

Carlin is one of those atheists who expend an inordinate amount of time and energy being angry at an entity he purports not to believe in....


31 posted on 10/07/2005 6:31:35 AM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum.)
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To: Uncledave; Admin Moderator

Oops - I've been duped. Looks like not Carlin. Sorry.

http://www.snopes.com/katrina/soapbox/boudreaux.asp


32 posted on 10/07/2005 6:35:02 AM PDT by Uncledave
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To: Uncledave
George Carlin? Not Hardly

From Wired News

http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,34248,00.html

33 posted on 10/07/2005 6:36:05 AM PDT by #1CTYankee (I thought about that and DELIBERATELY didn't go there. ((Or maybe I did?))
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To: 1rudeboy
"I'll wager that George will morph into Ted over the next few days."

Absolutely, I've always figured that there's an Anonymous Quote Attribution Machine somewhere out there in cyber space pumping these things out.

The AQAM has a circular queue with George, Ted, Dennis, Andy, and Robin and just cycles through it on a month to month basis.

34 posted on 10/07/2005 6:37:13 AM PDT by avg_freeper (Gunga galunga. Gunga, gunga galunga)
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To: dfwgator
I wouldn't say Carlin is necessarily a Lib, he blasts them as much as conservatives.

Nah...not even close these days.

He can be funny, however. (Or at least used to be.)

35 posted on 10/07/2005 6:37:49 AM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: Uncledave
As numerous FReepers have pretty well established, this wasn't by George Carlin. But I can't help but wonder how the late comedian Sam Kinison would have treated the story.

I remember Kinison on the subject of drought and starvation in Somalia, where the U.S. and other countries dispatched millions of dollars of aid. Kinison's screamed (as was his wont) advice to the citizens of Somalia, numerous obscenities and blasphemies removed, went something like this: "YOU @&%#@&%!!! YOU'RE LIVING IN A %$#&ING DESERT!!! MOVE!!! GO WHERE THE %$#&ING FOOD IS!!!"

36 posted on 10/07/2005 6:38:32 AM PDT by southernnorthcarolina (“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something." -- Winston Churchill)
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To: Uncledave
I thought George Carlin ODed about 20 years ago.
37 posted on 10/07/2005 6:39:13 AM PDT by HuntsvilleTxVeteran ("In any compromise between good and evil, it is only evil that can profit." AYN RAND)
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To: Uncledave

This is one I got. Doesn't exactly sound like the guy on Bill Maher a few weeks back.....

YES, I AM A BAD AMERICAN.







YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN



by: George Carlin



I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!



I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.



I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.



I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.



I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.



I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.



My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.



I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.



I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.



I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?



I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.



I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?



I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.



I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.



And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good.....and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.



I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.



I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.



And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?



If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.



If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.



We need our country back!




ot....


38 posted on 10/07/2005 6:39:44 AM PDT by digger48
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To: PBRSTREETGANG

Yep it's true that Carlin has a lot more vitriol for religious conservatives these days, but he used to rip into environmentalist whackos pretty good.


39 posted on 10/07/2005 6:40:15 AM PDT by dfwgator (Flower Mound, TX)
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To: digger48

Reports are that "Bad American" is not Carlin:

http://truthminers.com/hoaxarticles/carlin.htm


40 posted on 10/07/2005 6:41:25 AM PDT by Uncledave
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To: VA_Gentleman

posted #38


41 posted on 10/07/2005 6:42:23 AM PDT by digger48
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Comment #42 Removed by Moderator

To: Uncledave

I knew it wasn't him when I got it.

I heard what he said recently about "Governor Bush" (he said he calls him that because it was the last thing he was really elected to.)

My use for Carlin ended 20 years ago


43 posted on 10/07/2005 6:44:54 AM PDT by digger48
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To: Uncledave

This is pretty good, but I doubt it's from leftist George Carlin. :-)


44 posted on 10/07/2005 6:45:03 AM PDT by alnick
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To: dfwgator

I seriously doubt this is from George Carlin. He would have been ranting about the US troops in Iraq.


Or declaring there is no God.


45 posted on 10/07/2005 6:45:36 AM PDT by WKB (If you can't dazzle them with brilliance.. then Baffle them with BS)
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To: Uncledave

This isn't George Carlin, it's Shakespeare.


46 posted on 10/07/2005 6:45:50 AM PDT by DTogo (I haven't left the GOP, the GOP left me.)
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To: #1CTYankee

>>:In the meantime, maybe someone ought to ask Mike Barnicle if he wrote it.

There's a yuk on every page!

(Disgraced former Boston Globe, and later Boston Herald,
columnist/Imus lackey/WTKK talk host was caught lifting
some Carlin-isms in his columns. He said he had never read
the book BRAIN DROPPINGS, from which some had appeared.
Then someone found a clip of the TV show "Chronicle" and
there was Barnicle touting that book he had supposedly
never read, saying there's a "yuk on every page".


47 posted on 10/07/2005 6:46:25 AM PDT by raccoonradio
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To: Uncledave

If this were Carlin, it would have been funnier; just as angry, maybe, but funnier. Some of the sentiments aren't TOTALLY different from what I'd expect from Carlin, but overall it seems a bit too right-wing for him.


48 posted on 10/07/2005 6:47:32 AM PDT by Steve_Seattle
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To: varyouga

Kind of like that one that is credited to Andy Rooney. No way is this George Carlin. The words Poverty Pimps will never cross his lips.


49 posted on 10/07/2005 6:49:12 AM PDT by Holicheese (Would you like a beer? No thanks, I will have a bud light.)
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To: raccoonradio

...from boston-online.com:



It started innocently enough - Mike Barnicle, far too busy to do any real work, churned out one of his patented, inane "I was just thinking" pieces, probably in about 15 minutes.

Only it turned out that eight to ten of the oh-so-witty comments bore a striking resemblance to similar comments in George Carlin's book BrainDroppings (the exact number depends on whether you believe the Globe or the Herald). A Howie Carr fan dropped a dime to the Herald, which, naturally, promptly wrote about it

When confronted by Globe Editor Matt Storin (in a phone call from his vacation hideway in Europe), Barnicle said he had never read Carlin's book. But then somebody found a pesky videotape of him on "Chronicle" promoting the book as "a yuk on every page." Oh, yeah, that, Barnicle said. He then explained that even though he was on videotape recommending the book, he hadn't actually read it.**

**--"The story is true..."--Dan Rather
"Fake but accurate"--NY Times

And he refused Storin's request that he do a Patricia Smith and resign.

On 8/11, Storin announced he had changed his mind - he would suspend Barnicle for two months but let him come back to work on Oct. 4.

Now that he's gone, And what's the problem with the Globe Metro section in the first place?

etc


50 posted on 10/07/2005 6:51:13 AM PDT by raccoonradio
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