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George Carlin on Katrina (funny)
email going around

Posted on 10/07/2005 6:16:59 AM PDT by Uncledave

Been sitting here with my ass in a wad, wanting to speak out about the bullshit going on in New Orleans. For the people of New Orleans... First we would like to say, Sorry for your loss. With that said, Lets go through a few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that..Get the hell out.

Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out... if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the Government's fault you're starving.

#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some.

(Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

#2b. If the local store has been looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's TV and stereo alone. (See # 2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff...it's theirs, not yours.

#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass who didn't leave when told to do so.

#4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave!

(It's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them)

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some good and join the Navy.

#6. Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million years).

#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Wal-Mart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living.

President Kennedy said it best..."Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

Thank you for allowing me to rant.

George Carlin


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: blacks; carlin; gallowshumor; georgecarlin; humor; ibetitsfake; icantfindchat; katrina; myemailisnews
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To: avg_freeper
No, it's from Ted Nugent/Dennis Miller/Andy Rooney.

Andy Rooney would not say this. He has been very critical of W.
51 posted on 10/07/2005 6:53:27 AM PDT by Eagle of Liberty (11, 175, 77, 93 - In Memory Always)
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To: raccoonradio

Mike Barnicle is a looooser.


52 posted on 10/07/2005 7:23:31 AM PDT by #1CTYankee (I thought about that and DELIBERATELY didn't go there. ((Or maybe I did?))
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Comment #53 Removed by Moderator

To: Uncledave

I don't think this is Gearoge Carlin either. (A man I used to respect, but not anymore)

Goerge Carlin is a bitter, *extremely* anti-American jerk who's intelligence is so vastly eclipsed by his own opinion of his intelligence.

He has become like Bill maher, a guy who has learned how to say stuff that sounds really smart to people who don't know any better. He's taking advantage of people's ignorance.

I base this off his new book which I just read. He's changed from a sharp witted comedian who I used to love to a bitter old man mad at the world. (At least his writing makes it seem so)

There is no way George Carlin would say any of these things. He would come out firmly stating that is is all the governments fault and everyone's lives are entirely the governments responsibility.


54 posted on 10/07/2005 7:47:49 AM PDT by Bones75
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To: VA_Gentleman

"I doubt it's Carlin too. It's probably another fraud email like the "I'm a bad American" email that circulated a few years ago that was incorrectly attributed to him."

I've committed the following to memory from that email:

I believe that the money I make belongs to me and my family, and not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it to crackheads squirting out babies.

I'm sad to hear that it wasn't from Carlin, but that summed up my feelings on that issue pretty well.


55 posted on 10/07/2005 8:41:19 AM PDT by Woman on Caroline Street (Go sell crazy somewhere else. We're all stocked up here.)
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To: Uncledave

Believe me, Carlin did not write this. He'll be crying about this on his website for another five years like he did with the famous one that was going around. LOL!


56 posted on 10/07/2005 9:02:56 AM PDT by Hildy ( liberals cannot change the present, and cannot effect the future, so they MUST relive the past...)
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To: Bones75; All

George Carlin's humor took a huge turn for the worse when his beloved wife died. I believe she was the one that kept his dark side intact. He is/was very bitter about her death. This is what happens when you have no religion to heal your heart.


57 posted on 10/07/2005 9:05:41 AM PDT by Hildy ( liberals cannot change the present, and cannot effect the future, so they MUST relive the past...)
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To: Hildy

You are problaby right. It's ironic that he is so hateful towards Christianity yet if he had some fait.. not even Christianity but any faith at all in something bigger than himself, he probably would be more able to put it in perspective.

His new book, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops was depressing and sad to read. I knew Carlin's views were not the same as my own on many topics, but I know he is(was) usually really funny, and I am a big boy, I can take a bit of ribbing. I was execting a book full of funny jokes and quick wit.

Not far into the book, though, I realized that I was reading the mean-spirited rantings of an extremely bitter and miserable old man. If he had 2 positive thoughts in a row his brain would go into a seizure. The book reads more like this mans complete and total mental breakdown then a book of jokes. I am not even really religious and even I was offended by his seething hatred for Christians and anyone of faith, or for that matter anything in the world that represents even the smallest bit of decency. His jokes about Christians seem like overkill, and now the seem like really bitter hatred like he has some kind of an ax to grind. We know that he is an athiest, his jokes about it were funny 20 years ago. The facts that he's gone on about it for this long and has ratcheted up the bitterness tells me that there is more to the story, possibly from his childhood at the Chatholic school (specilation of course) or something, because he is really at WAR with any kind of faith whatsoever, and it goes beyond humor in that book. The George Carlin that I was a fan of is long gone.

It's fine to be adge and push the envelope, but if you're gonna do that, you have to make it FUNNY. If it's not funny it comes off like you're just a psycho old man. Bitter bitter bitter, mean and miserable. I put the book down and went outside and let the sun shine on my face and was thankful that I a do not have his worldview.

If this is because of the death of his wife, I truly feel sorry for his loss, it has ruined this man. I hope he can find some peace in some way. What's sad is his own worldview does a lot to prevent that. I hope somehow he starts to feel better.

Bones


58 posted on 10/07/2005 12:50:00 PM PDT by Bones75
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To: avg_freeper
The internet hoax Fab Four:


59 posted on 10/07/2005 12:53:25 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: Piquaboy
Andy Rooney is so senile he could not pour pee out of a boot with the directions on the heel.

That’s not very nice. Andy Rooney died a few years back, and just because nobody told him yet, we should show some respect.

Here he is last week, at the Petah Jennings memorial, God rest his soul:


60 posted on 10/07/2005 12:58:03 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: Uncledave; bootyist-monk

Another one of yours?


61 posted on 10/07/2005 12:59:59 PM PDT by RichInOC ("The coffee is strong at Cafe du Monde, the doughnuts are too hot to touch..." Save the Big Greasy!)
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To: Uncledave
Anything written that no one knows where it came from is tributed to George Carlin. In reality, he is not that smart.
62 posted on 10/07/2005 1:07:35 PM PDT by fish hawk (I am only one, but I am not the only one.)
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To: Obadiah

Carlin sometimes has a rightwing-ish/libertarianish bent but all his routines slam the rich, well-off, and sensible in society so this ain't him. Overall Carlin's a liberal anarchist. That said, he WAS funny...till maybe 15 years ago.


63 posted on 10/10/2005 11:32:20 AM PDT by RockinRight (I am beginning to think conservatism is buried somewhere under New Orleans mud...)
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To: Uncledave

Good piece, but not by Comrade Carlin. Check out Snopes.


64 posted on 10/10/2005 11:35:02 AM PDT by exile (Exile - Helen Thomas tried to lure me into her Gingerbread House.)
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To: Uncledave

I was just going to post this!

Bump!


65 posted on 10/12/2005 7:19:41 PM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: Wolfie
Not nearly funny enough to be Carlin.

Yea, Carlin is real funny. I admire him so much that if I found myself on the same flight as him to Singapore and if I had a load of smack (lot of "if's" here, I admit), I would annonymously gift it to him.

66 posted on 12/03/2005 1:06:24 AM PST by LK44-40
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To: Wolfie
Not nearly funny enough to be Carlin.

That's odd--I was thinking it's too funny to be Carlin. Maybe not funny in the exaggerated, outrageous vein that Carlin works in, but funny in the sense that true comedy has its basis in truth. But since Carlin, like 99% of performers and so-called "creative people, is an anti-conservative, any point of view that agrees with conservatives couldn't possibly be the truth.

67 posted on 12/03/2005 1:50:27 AM PST by giotto
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