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The Expense of Spirit (A lesbianís sperm donor is hoist with his own petard.)
City Journal ^ | 25 October 2005 | Theodore Dalrymple

Posted on 10/28/2005 6:07:22 PM PDT by neverdem

We can usually sympathize with one or another party to a dispute: one is usually more in the right—or less in the wrong—than the other. But with the breakdown of accepted conventions, it increasingly happens that neither side arouses our sympathies.

Take a recent case in Sweden, where a lesbian couple wished to have children. An understanding and liberal-minded male friend agreed to donate his sperm, and three children were born to one of the two women between 1992 and 1996. But then relations between the two women deteriorated, and they split up.

The mother of the children found herself alone and in difficult straits. Who would support her, in her—and her children’s—time of need? Her former lover was unwilling, because—after all—she was no relation of the children. The sperm donor had made it clear from the first that he had no wish to be a father in any but the most literal biological sense; he thought he was merely doing the couple a favor. He therefore felt no moral obligation to support the children, and his conscience was clear.

Nevertheless, the government’s department of social security—the potential surrogate parent of every child—sued to force the sperm donor to pay. After a case lasting four years, he found himself obliged henceforth to support the mother and children financially.

The president of the Swedish Federation for Sexual Equality declared the legal decision an outrage. “It is scandalous,” he said. “The man has been condemned to be a father even though he did not take the decision to have the children. Above all, one of the women who took part in that decision has been absolved of all responsibility. If one desires equality of rights for lesbians, it is anomalous that it should not be she who was obliged to support the children financially.”

It would take considerable space to elucidate all the errors in the president’s statement. But I think that the language of rights, and above all of equal rights, is what leads us into this sordid legal and moral swamp. If women have a “right” to children, in the sense that not having them if they want them is an infringement of their rights, then of course lesbian women can no longer accept childlessness as the natural consequence of their condition. Let it not be said that new medical technology is responsible for this change in attitude, incidentally: the kind of artificial insemination offered in a domestic setting by the sperm donor has been possible for a very long time. No, the culprit here is the idea that the fulfilment of our desires, no matter what our condition, is a right. As for the well-being of the children in this case—beyond the provision of sufficient financial support for them—that seems to have entered into no one’s thnking.

A plague on all their houses, then: the idea that one “condemns” a man to support children is in itself both revealing and chilling.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Government; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: dalrymple; fatherhood; gaymarriage; gayrights; homosexualagenda; ivf; leftistperversion; lesbians; obligations; paternity; rights; spermbank; sweden; theodoredalrymple
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1 posted on 10/28/2005 6:07:23 PM PDT by neverdem
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To: neverdem

Freaks.


2 posted on 10/28/2005 6:09:26 PM PDT by PLMerite ("Unarmed, one can only flee from Evil. But Evil isn't overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper)
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To: neverdem
An understanding and liberal-minded male friend agreed to donate his sperm, and three children were born to one of the two women between 1992 and 1996.

Perhaps if he had studied the Bible and understood about the sanctity of marriage and life, he wouldn't be in this (liberal) mess right now.

3 posted on 10/28/2005 6:11:03 PM PDT by BipolarBob (I'm really BagdadBob under the witness protection program.)
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To: neverdem

What gets my goat is they want to do that here in the US as well. Man, you think fathers have it bad here now (and they do) just wait till they try to pass that stuff off over here!


4 posted on 10/28/2005 6:11:35 PM PDT by Danae (Most Liberals don't drink the Kool-aide, they are licking the powder right out of the packet.)
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To: neverdem
he found himself obliged henceforth to support the mother and children financially

I support that decision. He enabled what I consider to be a tragic situation. He should pay for that with financial support. Perhaps others will learn, and perhaps fewer men will donate sperm so that lesbians can raise children. That would be a good thing.

5 posted on 10/28/2005 6:13:18 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy (W IT.)
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To: PLMerite
Basters, they're just not for turkeys any more:


6 posted on 10/28/2005 6:13:32 PM PDT by Michael.SF. ('That was the gift the president gave us, the gift of happiness, of being together,' Cindy Sheehan")
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To: ClearCase_guy

It's not like he bought a one year subscription to Swedish Meatballs. He gave life to another person. He is the father no matter what his attitude.


7 posted on 10/28/2005 6:14:55 PM PDT by sine_nomine (Every baby is a blessing from God, from the moment of conception.)
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To: neverdem
The man has been condemned to be a father even though he did not take the decision to have the children.

As if that has never happened before.

8 posted on 10/28/2005 6:14:56 PM PDT by Michael.SF. ('That was the gift the president gave us, the gift of happiness, of being together,' Cindy Sheehan")
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To: ClearCase_guy
Perhaps others will learn, and perhaps fewer men will donate sperm so that lesbians can raise children. That would be a good thing.

I would say, not just lesbians, but any woman who intends deliberately to raise a fatherless child.

Handing out sperm with no thought to the consequences is both unwise and wrong, and men should stop it.

9 posted on 10/28/2005 6:18:28 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("Neither the depth of despondency nor the height of euphoria tells you how long either will last. ")
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To: PLMerite

Very sad, even sadder for the children. May God help them!


10 posted on 10/28/2005 6:19:56 PM PDT by rawhide
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To: neverdem

How can the woman and her children be in "difficult straits" when Sweden is a socialist utopia?


11 posted on 10/28/2005 6:21:48 PM PDT by Kenny500c
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To: Tax-chick
"Handing out sperm with no thought to the consequences is both unwise and wrong, and men should stop it."

Quite right. From my earliest days I have kept track of my emissions. And I have counseled others to do the same.

12 posted on 10/28/2005 6:22:49 PM PDT by Khurkris (Ain't life funny?)
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To: neverdem

How interesting.

Coupled lesbians splitting up and outside sperm donors forced to pony up. Grrrreaaaat Country.

What a tribute to society and social "progress."


13 posted on 10/28/2005 6:23:15 PM PDT by bill1952 ("All that we do is done with an eye towards something else.")
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To: ClearCase_guy

I agree.


14 posted on 10/28/2005 6:23:18 PM PDT by mel
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To: Khurkris

LOL!


15 posted on 10/28/2005 6:24:01 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("Neither the depth of despondency nor the height of euphoria tells you how long either will last. ")
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To: Tax-chick

Perhaps women should cross their legs more often, as well.


16 posted on 10/28/2005 6:24:33 PM PDT by bill1952 ("All that we do is done with an eye towards something else.")
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To: bill1952

Oh, I agree with that too, but it's not the point of this particular story.


17 posted on 10/28/2005 6:25:18 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("Neither the depth of despondency nor the height of euphoria tells you how long either will last. ")
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To: Tax-chick
Handing out sperm

Nice double entendre!

18 posted on 10/28/2005 6:26:26 PM PDT by iowamark
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To: ClearCase_guy

I totally support the Swedish government on this. Life, family, children, and responsibility are not games for queers to endlessly play with.


19 posted on 10/28/2005 6:26:40 PM PDT by FormerACLUmember
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To: iowamark

I hang around Lazamataz sometimes :-).


20 posted on 10/28/2005 6:27:10 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("Neither the depth of despondency nor the height of euphoria tells you how long either will last. ")
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