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Insurgents Regret ABC News Friendly-Fire Incident
scrappleface.com ^
| 2006-01-30
| Scott Ott
Posted on 01/30/2006 2:31:51 PM PST by NYTexan
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, leader of al Qaeda in Iraq, today expressed his regrets to ABC News for the injuries sustained by anchor Bob Woodruff and a videographer in what Mr. Zarqawi called, “this tragic incident of friendly fire.”
“The American news media has always treated us well,” the al Qaeda leader said in a printed statement. “We were trying to kill U.S. and Iraqi soldiers when this unfortunate accident occurred. We pray to Allah for the swift recovery of the injured, and hope they can be back on the job soon.”
A spokesman for ABC News said a preliminary investigation showed that the improvised explosive device (IED) which wounded Mr. Woodruff and his colleague Doug Vogt, was triggered by “an imperialist occupation of Iraq after the U.S. overthrew the nation’s duly-elected president, yet failed to find weapons of mass destruction.”
TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: abcnews; bobwoodruff; dougvogt; friendlyfire; journalist; liberalmedia; satire; scrappleface
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1
posted on
01/30/2006 2:31:52 PM PST
by
NYTexan
To: Sunnyflorida; Alien Gunfighter; Recon Dad; indianrightwinger; confederacy of dunces; TheresaKett; ..
Pinging the usual suspects!
(anyone wanting on or off the satire ping list, let me know!)
2
posted on
01/30/2006 2:32:38 PM PST
by
NYTexan
(Where is MY global warming?)
To: NYTexan
But, but...would he say the same about Fox and Friends?
3
posted on
01/30/2006 2:33:51 PM PST
by
Cornpone
(Who Dares Wins -- Defame Islam Today -- Tell the Truth About Muhammad)
To: NYTexan
4
posted on
01/30/2006 2:34:26 PM PST
by
Lexington Green
(FOX doctored the news to satisfy a Saudi stockholder.)
To: NYTexan
LOL! They almost had me going there for a moment!!
Satire is only good if it's believable .. which this surely is.
5
posted on
01/30/2006 2:34:30 PM PST
by
CyberAnt
( I believe Congressman Curt Weldon re Able Danger)
To: NYTexan
6
posted on
01/30/2006 2:34:31 PM PST
by
txhurl
(Gingrich/North '08 although I would like to have Powell if he'd straighten up)
To: CyberAnt
Ditto that. Scott Ott's got a knack for making the ridiculous sound plausible.
7
posted on
01/30/2006 2:35:59 PM PST
by
My2Cents
(In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. -- George Orwell)
To: NYTexan
I immediately looked for who wrote this....
..almost had me :^)
8
posted on
01/30/2006 2:36:24 PM PST
by
Guenevere
To: NYTexan
“The American news media has always treated us well,” the al Qaeda leader said in a printed statement.
I hereby submit this for the “Understatement of the Year” award.
9
posted on
01/30/2006 2:37:48 PM PST
by
R. Scott
(Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
To: NYTexan
In return ABC NEWS offered their deepest apologies that their errant reporters got in the way of the bombs shrapnel that was meant for their common enemy, US Troops, and promised to never allow such a travesty of justice to happen again.
10
posted on
01/30/2006 2:38:12 PM PST
by
Berlin_Freeper
(ETERNAL SHAME on the Treasonous and Immoral Democrats!)
To: NYTexan
How many more reporters must die before the media will bring the reporters home and end this illegal quagmire whereby they trade blood for headlines?
11
posted on
01/30/2006 2:38:28 PM PST
by
Axhandle
To: CyberAnt
Got me again!
Scrappleface – I have got to start paying attention to the website link.
12
posted on
01/30/2006 2:39:20 PM PST
by
R. Scott
(Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
To: NYTexan
13
posted on
01/30/2006 2:42:42 PM PST
by
jamesm51
To: R. Scott
14
posted on
01/30/2006 2:43:03 PM PST
by
proud_yank
(Aspiring CEO of a multinational corporation)
To: NYTexan
. . . besides we are too busy targeting Danes for the
cartoons they draw depicting Lucifer . . . er . . . Mohammad as a terrorist thug.
Boycott Arla Foods!
15
posted on
01/30/2006 2:43:44 PM PST
by
w_over_w
(Don't tell me to go to your BLOG . . . just tell me how your day was.)
To: NYTexan
You got me, too, until the last sentence and I checked to see the source. Good one Scrappleface!
To: Dr. Eckleburg
fyi - it merited its own thread.
17
posted on
01/30/2006 2:46:53 PM PST
by
GretchenM
(What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? Please meet my friend, Jesus.)
To: R. Scott
LOL, especially with "Scott" as a surname.
18
posted on
01/30/2006 2:48:04 PM PST
by
GretchenM
(What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? Please meet my friend, Jesus.)
To: NYTexan
A satire ping list!! Who ever herd of such a thing?!! Sign me up!!!
19
posted on
01/30/2006 2:51:13 PM PST
by
Jotmo
("Voon", said the mattress.)
To: NYTexan
20
posted on
01/30/2006 2:52:30 PM PST
by
DCPatriot
("It aint what you don't know that kills you. It's what you know that aint so" Theodore Sturgeon)
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