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Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???
Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo

Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.

That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.

Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.

Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.

Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.

You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.

We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.

Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.

You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.

I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.

I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.

She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.

I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.

Amen. Now pass the cornbread.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: africanamerican; aquanetta; babynames; black; brerrabbit; byanyothername; children; deandre; dejames; ebonics; jaquezjaquan; lemonjello; name; names; nintendo; orangejello; spechal; unusualnames
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To: Xenalyte

I went to school with a "Deaquenita" (I think I am missing a letter or two, but it was something like that.)


121 posted on 03/30/2006 1:02:00 PM PST by Onelifetogive (* Sarcasm tag ALWAYS required. For some FReepers, sarcasm can NEVER be obvious enough.)
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To: TNCMAXQ

"Isn't one of them a girl named Scout??
"

Probably named after the little girl character in "To Kill a Mockingbird." I like that name.


122 posted on 03/30/2006 1:02:04 PM PST by MineralMan (godless atheist)
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Anyone ever hear any Shirley Q Liquor clips?


123 posted on 03/30/2006 1:02:12 PM PST by KneelBeforeZod (I have five dollars for each of you)
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To: All
How about this white guy's name? Talk about setting someone up for failure!!!
124 posted on 03/30/2006 1:02:15 PM PST by texan75010
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To: Tanniker Smith
And when I read the attendance, let me tell you, some of them get very upset when you mispronounce their names.

No kidding, and I always had to bite my tongue not to day, "Look, it's not my fault your Mother couldn't spell..."

susie

125 posted on 03/30/2006 1:02:22 PM PST by brytlea (I'm not a conspiracy theorist....really.)
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To: TXBubba

`Ima Hogg': twin sister `Yura', both middle named 'Daisy'?


126 posted on 03/30/2006 1:02:36 PM PST by OkieDoke
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To: Xenalyte
How about Madycin? It's pronounced "Madison," but for the love of God, why spell it like that?

Obviously her parents want her to grow up and do well in the feminine hygene industry.

127 posted on 03/30/2006 1:02:41 PM PST by papertyger (Our Constitution isn't perfect, but it's better than what we have right now.)
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To: twippo

My daughter's name ends with "queda." I chose the name from the traditional story of the Queen of Sheeba.

She is graduating 15th out of her class of 597. She recieved a full tuition scholarship from the College of Natural Resources (science) at a local University.

I suppose if I had chosen a different name, she may have been 1st out of 597 and gotten a law school scholarship. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to settle. < /sarcasm>


128 posted on 03/30/2006 1:02:44 PM PST by colorcountry (You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.....CS Lewis)
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To: TXBubba
My wife works in the intensive care nursery.
At times it seems that they just pick the number of letters they want, say 18, then just draw them out of a hat. She has brought home names that can be spoken. I've seen names with three vowels together. You can't imagine.

I couldn't imagine doing that to one of my children

GE
129 posted on 03/30/2006 1:02:54 PM PST by GrandEagle
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To: twippo

Yes, it's too bad that a certain type of person wants to get attention for themselves by giving their child an albatross of a name. It's similar to the yuppies of the 80's who started naming their daughters with last names, like Campbell, Brennan, and yes, Madison.


130 posted on 03/30/2006 1:02:55 PM PST by CaliGirlGodHelpMe
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To: Tanniker Smith

I taught a student on an indian reservation whose name was Sven....but he pronouced it seven.


131 posted on 03/30/2006 1:02:56 PM PST by the lastbestlady
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To: LS

I went to college with a guy named Lance Spear. Again, no joke.


132 posted on 03/30/2006 1:03:03 PM PST by dmz
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To: MineralMan

I like "Scout" also. It's sweet.


133 posted on 03/30/2006 1:03:23 PM PST by bonfire
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To: LS

Did you and the retarded girl named Ima Pigg both go to school on the short bus? ;9)


134 posted on 03/30/2006 1:03:25 PM PST by Ditter
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To: old_sage_says

There was a boy in my school with the name of Michael Hunt. Seriously! You know what he was called, so I won't even write it down.

His parents should have been jailed for giving him that name.


135 posted on 03/30/2006 1:03:25 PM PST by MineralMan (godless atheist)
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To: TNCMAXQ

"Scientific Maps"


136 posted on 03/30/2006 1:03:34 PM PST by Gefreiter ("Are you drinking 1% because you think you're fat?")
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Comment #137 Removed by Moderator

To: BenLurkin
Yes, but wouldn't heaven backwards be another form of hell?

Just sayin.'
138 posted on 03/30/2006 1:03:51 PM PST by pollyannaish
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To: Tanniker Smith
one boy and one girl, named Sha Meek and Sha Meeka.

If the girl is Sha Meeka, the boy should be Sha Meekus.

139 posted on 03/30/2006 1:03:59 PM PST by HIDEK6
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To: LS

I once knew of a man named Richard Head. His parents were cruel people.


140 posted on 03/30/2006 1:04:15 PM PST by TXBSAFH (Proud Dad of Twins, What Does Not Kill You Makes You Stronger!!!!!!)
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