Posted on 04/01/2006 6:40:33 PM PST by twippo
SELMER, Tenn. - Mary Winkler was the quiet, unassuming wife of a small-town, by-the-Bible preacher, seemingly devoted to church and family. But now her husband, Matthew, is dead and she is charged with shooting him in the back with a shotgun.
Authorities won't discuss a motive, and church members say they didn't see any indication she was unhappy. But experts say preachers' wives often struggle with depression and isolation, expected to be exemplars of Christian virtue while bearing unique pressures on their private and public lives.
Gayle Haggard, author of "A Life Embraced: A Hopeful Guide for the Pastor's Wife," said ministers' wives can feel isolated because of a misconception about leadership, since they and their husbands are leaders of their congregations.
They can feel trapped, she said, by unrealistic expectations "to live a certain way, to dress a certain way, for their children to behave a certain way."
And ministers' wives often find themselves handling more jobs than they expected to take on, said Becky Hunter, current president of the Global Pastors Wives Network.
"You're not really hired, and yet there is some expectation in most church settings that the pastor's wife comes along in a package deal," Hunter said.
Too often, ministers and their wives are reluctant to seek emotional help from members of their congregations because they're looked up to as leaders, said Lois Evans, a former president of the Global Pastors Wives Network. They can become isolated, lonely and depressed.
"This family needed help," said Evans. "It seems like there was no place to turn to and no place to talk and it became an explosive situation."
Matthew Winkler, 31, was found dead in a bedroom at the couple's parsonage Wednesday night in Selmer, a town of 4,400 people about 80 miles east of Memphis. Mary Winkler, 32, and her three young daughters were found Thursday night leaving a restaurant in Orange Beach, Ala., about 340 miles from Selmer. Orange Beach Police Chief Billy Wilkins said she had rented a condo on the beach after the slaying.
She was charged with first-degree murder and ordered held without bail. Tennessee Bureau of Investigation agent John Mehr said authorities know the motive for the killing, but he would not disclose it.
Mary Winkler was working part-time as a substitute teacher and taking college courses to get a teaching certificate as well as raising her three children and serving the congregation as its preacher's wife.
"You know she was weighted down," said Jimmie Smith, a member of Matthew Winkler's Fourth Street Church of Christ congregation and a retired psychiatric nurse.
Defense lawyer Steve Farese refused to talk about the Winklers' private life or if they had personal troubles.
"I can't discuss anything she's told me," Farese said. "But I think you have to look at the entire picture. You can't look at the end of a story and determine what the beginning and middle were."
Choosing to remain a bachelor is unnatural? Poor Henry Higgins!
No, it is an exceptional thing, but come can do it, just as some can stay in shape all their lives. You are, after all, referring to a mere 50,000 men out of a population of nearly 35 million men.
It is probably ten time more frequent in the public schools, but no one is putting thre spotlight on that. Part of that is the matter of sovereign immunity, but mainly it has to do with the fact that there is no bulldog going after the schools on this matter.
Sin is sin in the eyes of God. One is no better than the other.
"Evidently divorce didn't occur to Mrs. Winkler."
Do you know about the teachings of a mainline Church of Christ? She probably didn't even think that divorce was an option.
"If divorce is so unthinkable to evangelicals, then why do Christians have a higher divorce rate than atheists?"
I highly doubt those stats you seem to cite would hold true at a mainline Cof C.
"the Church of Christ is not really considered evangelical. They are somewhat cult like and believe that anyone not baptized is not a Christian."
That's not an entirely true statement. Only the ICC (International CofC's by Kip McKean) believes that to be true. Most mainline CofC's do not.
The Bible says nothing about Peter's wife, only about his mother-in-law. Maybe she was dead by the time Peter became a disciple. In any case, Rome imposes its discipline only on men who volunteer to live celibate lives. How is this fundamentally different from the demand of certain churches that their pastors not get a divorce?
"Some other time, it's late. Suffice to say that they do not believe in Salvation by grace."
That's correct. But what mainline Christian Church does?
Are you sure it was a mainline Church of Christ and not the breakoff International Churches of Christ by Kip McKean?
http://reveal.org
That's kinda of stretch don't you think? If nothing is historically documented about Peter how would one even come to your conclusion?
I would live to see the heading "Experts' wives often struggle".
Oops sorry... let's try that again
http://www.reveal.org/
Awwwwww... She's just an overworked nice lady.
NOT! She killed her husband!
I'm not going to sit here and excuse what she did. But the author of the article is dead on.
She probably couldn't believe she had any other choice than what she did.
I said "maybe." Nothing in the Bible weeds out the possibility that he was a widower. On the other hand, there is no doubt that Paul remained single all of his life.
"She probably couldn't believe she had any other choice than what she did."
In that case, she's a dangerous psychotic who should be locked up for life or executed. The door was only a few feet away.
Just wanted that clarified. The Catholic Church likes to throw examples and such of people in the Bible as to why this and that... even as to the opposite of what is Biblical in order to support their teachings rather than follow the guide the Bible has set as to church structure.
Have you ever been a member of a Church of Christ? You know that old saying... until you walk in the shoes of a man you cannot know the man.
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