Posted on 10/15/2006 3:52:14 PM PDT by Chi-townChief
First prize winner, for sure.
Today I am announcing this column's inaugural blue ribbon award for the totally dorkiest look of the year.
There's no contest here.
Without any doubt, the dumbest sight anywhere in 2006 is a human ear with a Bluetooth technology device sticking out.
For starters, it looks ridiculous — like a reject part from the Borg (evil cyberbeings).
Is anyone so important she or he must be linked to Verizon Wireless or Cingular or any mobile service on an 24/7 basis?
I don't think so.
And if one has to be on call for any reason, there are more subtle devices.
But hanging out of the ear?
That is — so not fashionable.
Regular readers probably are thinking about my passion for all that is Star Trek and how the first Enterprise communications officer, Lt. Uhura (Robbins native Nichelle Nichols), wore an earpiece.
Yes, she did.
But Uhura was on a starship, traveling at warp speed across the galaxy in the 23rd century.
The Enterprise crew had to stay connected on all wavelengths, including subspace.
When you're hundreds of light years away from home, constant monitoring of all transmissions is mandatory.
Evil forces such as the Romulans could surface anytime.
On TV sci-fi, the ear thing was nifty.
But on Earth, uh-uh.
So on Tuesday when my husband, Murray, told me he bought a phone with the word-that-cannot-be-spoken technology, I went ballistic.
He assured me he'd only use it when driving alone in Chicago or anyplace with a law requiring hands-free phones behind the wheel.
That is, unless Romulans are nearby.
Meanwhile, on the subject of technology, more than one person contacted me about the Roomba robotic vacuum cleaner and other robots, the subject of last week's column.
Lucy Venditti, of South Chicago Heights, summed it up in her e-mail.
Last summer she saw the Honda Advanced Step in Innovative Mobility, or ASIMO, robot on stage at Disneyland in California.
"He was about 5 feet tall, his arms bent at the elbows (and) hands moved. ...
"He walked forward and backward, went up the stairs and down, answered the phone, packed lunches for his stage family and sent them off to work and school," she wrote.
"He even gave each a tender hug. I'd love to have one. ...
"My daughter bought me (a Roomba) for my birthday, but I had her take it back after a couple of days.
"ASIMO I'd keep."
(You can check out ASIMO with video and more at www.asimo.honda.com.)
Alas, ASIMO costs about $1 million and is not yet mass produced.
But as Venditti reiterated, the age of Isaac Asimov's vision for robots has begun.
Myra Eder may be reached at meder@starnewspapers.com or (708) 802-8818.
These things make it a lot more difficult to discern who is sane and who isn't. These people often appear to be talking to themselves like other mentally disturbed individuals in the city, until you get close and notice the earpiece. What I've never been able to figure out is how having this thing clipped on your ear allows the microphone to pick up your voice. Doesn't seem feasible, but I guess it works.
I spend about 10 minutes per week on the phone, if that, so I usually find a way to free up my hands for this short period of time.
And don't me started on people using those things in the men's room.
Complain all you want, Myra, bluetooth is necessary in states like mine that require hands-free while driving. I actually like it. Although it does feel awkward when I am at the store looking for those cookies my wife wants and I am talking to - no one it seems.
bwahahah! Especially where I work (the guys with the machine guns and kevlar suits still come by once in a while...)
They look totally absurd. I agrre with the article , who the hell needs to be THAT in touch with anyone. The people I know with them do nothing but gossip on them anyway .
Myra you ignorant snot... Some people in this world work on what's called a "commission"... they need to be accessible by their "clients" to complete "deals". Study the concept... and learn about how business works.
At work we were given these Pocket PC phones, and they're a major pain. While they're OK for checking email, as a telephone they really stink. They've got these touch screens that keep activating when you're talking to people. If you let the screen touch your face while on the phone, you wind up "pressing a button."
However, they're blue tooth capable, and if you use the headset, it actually works pretty well as a phone.
Mark
Most people I've seen with them do not have their hands occupied doing anything. It's a look at me gaget for sure.
"He doesn't know about the three sea shells."
Never, ever forget, your life may depend on it... WE ARE BORG... YOUR ASS WILL BE LAMINATED.
There was an article somewhere a long time ago about people pretending to talk to other people on cell phones...
I'm actually training myself to go out without my cell on my belt. I may have to buy a watch, though. Probably right about the time I get weaned of it, two-way communication-chip implants will be mandatory...(I better go get some fresh air).
She has that Michael Jackson look a bit.
Also, advanced robots that can multi-task, navigate, communicate, etc. are still far away. A popular science magazine (could have been Popular Science) had a prediction of late this century when advanced robots would come to fruition.
My boss's wife walked around the office with one of these stupid things stuck to her ear for about a week.
Me and the other programmer were merciless in our ridicule. Calling her Uhura, and asking if there's been any sub-space transmissions.
I have been a programmer for almost 30 years and I am a complete luddite when it comes to crap like this.
I have a cell phone. I used it for 2 minutes last month. It worked great.
It does work. I have one, not a Bluetooth or phone, that I use with my laptop to communicate via the Internet. Same deal: earpiece in my ear, with a microphone sticking about an inch forward of the earpiece.
I don't even have a cell phone. So how did you ever survive before cell phones?
Then why have it? You are paying for it you might as well at least use the minutes you are paying for. Unless you have a prepaid phone.
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I dunno. I have no idea how we survived.
VERY nice
I'd never want to be so impotrant or busy that I needed to talk on the phone while I drove a car. That's just me though .
Knit that girl a sweater and taker her to the the Taco Bell!
The least they can do is be surgicly altered so that they at least look like Vulvans or Romulans. --snicker--snicker--
According to my kids they're called "queer ear". LOL
I can only imagine what it does for hearing over a long period of time stuck in the ear 24/7.
(heavy sigh)....nice pics.
I am sure that the next stage in human evolution will to be born with these things implanted already. I am an administator at a college, and among young people (especially women)cell phone use is obsessive. Walking past a classroom building, as soon as a class lets out, over 50% of the kids are on the cell phone when they get out the door.This is at 9:30 on a weekday morning, what the hell are they all talking about? What is so damn important? If the Islamists rally wanted us to bring us to our knees, all they need to do is bring down the cell phone towers, these cell phone dependents would have us suing for peace at any price to get the cell phones back on line.
I don't, however, wear it 24/7 as some are implying. In fact, when I'm not at work I don't even use it at all.
That qualifies for Post of the Evening!
You noticed that also. I often wonder how many mentally disturbed citizens actually buy these devices, just to appear normal in public?
Buy Reynolds!!
Oh good lord.....how prissy so many are here.
I have my cell with me wherever I go. So does my wife. Her phone was recently stolen and I replaced it with a Motorola Q and an HS700 bluetooth headset. She loves both. Piece of cake to just reach up and touch that little button on it and place calls, receive calls, etc. Twenty thousand reasons why it's convenient and SAFE, damn it all, people.
Join the 21st century, would ya??
You and steveo could be a little more polite. Getting offended over opinions on wireless communications? It isn't abortion.
Don't be too hard on them. This is, after all, a conservative forum. :-)
Not when it comes to hanging something on my ear. On the other hand I own a Roomba, a grind and brew coffee pot and other gadgets.
Truth is that I really just don't like chatting on the phone.
"Then why have it? You are paying for it you might as well at least use the minutes you are paying for. Unless you have a prepaid phone."
A cell phone and a credit card: The antique motorcycle rider's toolkit.
ROFLOL
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