Believability makes good satire. This is one of the best I've ever read.
Posted on 03/30/2007 11:10:26 AM PDT by UnklGene
Edited on 03/30/2007 11:14:43 AM PDT by Lead Moderator. [history]
Al Sharpton Slams 240-Year Hate-Crime Sentence for Black Gunman
NEW YORK — A judge has sentenced a black man to 240 years in prison for taking white hostages in a bar in Manhattan’s East Village and telling them that "white people are going to burn tonight."
The man had been convicted of attempted murder and assault after he shot and wounded three people, including a police officer, and sprayed kerosene on several people and threatened to set them on fire. Two women caught the man off guard and tackled him, and a policeman shot him. The man had been carrying three pistols, a samurai sword and a container of kerosene, and he told police he had gone looking for happy white people to kill to avenge the mistreatment of blacks.
Black leaders condemned the sentence.
“Hate crime is when white folk do sumpin’ to black folk,” said Al Sharpton. “This law was meant to be used against whitey, not against brothers.
“A hate crime is a crime for which there is a perfectly appropriate sentence – like life for murder or 10 years for assault – but the judge can tack on more years if the perpetrator had hate in his heart,” said Sharpton. “This was no hate crime – the man said himself he was goin’ lookin’ for happy people!”
The defense lawyer had asked the judge to consider the convicted man's diagnosed mental disorders and the fact that he had been a sexually abused child, but the judge said “nuts” to that.
Emma Dubin
Side note: It was two LADIES that subdued him? That's awesome!
Satire.
Never mind.
See Masthead: "Bongo News, Satire-Parody-Jokes"
These days, you can never tell.
he had gone looking for happy white people to kill to avenge the mistreatment of blacks.
WHAT frickin' mistreatment has this guy endured in his lifetime that justifies this?
Hate crime is when white folk do sumpin’ to black folk,” said Al Sharpton. “This law was meant to be used against whitey, not against brothers.
--Talk about RACIST rhetoric!
This is like the Onion, dude.
No, it was a real crime and that was what happened.
I mean, the crime happened, but fat-mouth Al didn't say the things in the article. Not in public, at least.
I'm no fan of Sharpton, but this aricle is a fabricated satire. It should be labeled as such, or provide a legitimate quote from Sharpton.
Hard to tell this is a joke. How would it be any different if it was a serious story, other than that the RAT reporter would clean up al's grammar?
Believability makes good satire. This is one of the best I've ever read.
It's about time everyone was subjected to to "thought police" and not just Whitey!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.