Posted on 04/12/2007 9:22:51 AM PDT by metalmanx2j
Disliking the false "we are pregnant" is, in fact, in line with the traditional (and obviously sensible) view of biological reality. This "we" nonsense has only arisen in the last 20 years or so, along with the "atomistic individualism" you claim to oppose.
That was an odd thing to say.
I'm not sure of "all the things " my husband did for me while I was pregnant. I had easy and uneventful pregnancies (not even morning sickness), worked full time up to the day before each delivery (3) and drove myself to my check-ups at lunch times and after work. He did more of the laundry and shopping at the end. I did appreciate that.
I never saw the sonogram pictures of a baby growing in his abdomen, stretch marks on his belly or the daily ritual of the baby's hiccups entertaining his office-mates after lunch everyday. I must have missed it when he took those pre-natal vitamins, gained 35 lbs, and pushed an two 8-pound and one 7-pound baby out of his body.
I assume he was willing to sacrifice as much as I would for our children as would most parents for their children.
That still didn't make him pregnant.
And while a miscarriage affects a couple, I would be willing to bet that if surveyed, we would find the woman more devastated by the loss.
Being pregnant is fun at the beginning, tiring at the end, a little scary the whole time and definitly something only a woman can be. I mean no disrespect to husbands/fathers, but that's just the way it is.
I've always thought it silly to see a 9 month pregnant woman dragging her huge body around while her husband spoke about "them" (not her) being pregnant.
You have mail.
Families are "we" and have always been "we."
When my mother-in-law had cancer and my wife told her that "we will get through this together", my mother-in-law didn't respond by saying: "The biological reality is that only I individually have cancer. Don't give me this 'we' nonsense."
No, she realized that her cancer not only represented a serious psychological blow to her but also to those who loved her and that the people who loved her were suffering as well and that they would do anything in their power to help her get well. My mother-in-law told me that she feared the devastation that her death would have on her husband and children more than she feared dying itself. That makes complete sense to me.
Likewise, a pregnancy is a time of hope and expectation for everyone who loves that child, and those who love the child are willing to do anything in their power and endure any discomfort to help ensure that mother and child emerge from the pregnancy healthy and happy.
The notion that the only reality is physical is not a traditional notion at all - it is the diametrical opposite of traditional morality.
A family is not a bunch of random people. It is an entity itself.
I wrote this back in the 70’s and knew this would happen!
I’ve got a son that never came.
One that flew kites and arrow-planes.
One that danced in the springtime rains.
Don’t know why or who’s to blame.
But I’ve got a son that never came.
Bullfrogs and butterflies he’ll never see.
He’ll stroll through an open field, but not with me.
There was a time his heart beat strong.
It beat with rhythm as in a song.
And to me his love belonged.
Don’t know why or what went wrong.
But there was a time his heart beat strong.
It’s left in my mind and my heart will tease.
There’s no love in my life for my son and me.
Before I had a chance to fight.
They took my son up a flight.
To a room to take his life.
Don’t know why I had no rights.
Before I had a chance to fight.
Then five months early they stole him from his womb.
Laid him in a corner and watched him die in his tomb.
But for one split second I thought I heard him cry...
“I’m gonna have to leave you now. I love you Dad. Goodbye.”
Wow. Very good writing. Screen getting blurry.
She doesn't care. Its all on her. If I were to try to judge righteously, I would say every bit of this is on her.
I do not know how old you are, but if you think men today are selfish, women are much more.
The truth is that this woman doesn't want the baby interfering with her freedom nor the stigma of giving up her child or having a boyfriend more responsible than her. Solution? Just abort it an no one will know. So she thinks.
I think you just proved her point. My husband is a wondeful dad and husband, but he's never been pregnant.
Physically no.
And mothers who cannot get pregnant but who adopt have never been pregnant either.
But they are also mothers.
The physical discomfort of pregnancy is the least significant aspect of the experience of being pregnant.
Hi five for your wonderful comments on this thread (and I am a woman!)
Yes, he was excited, worried, nervous, and we shared those feelings. So was my mother. She wasn't pregnant either.
Of course. But I'm not the one who said that fathers are pregnant.
The physical discomfort of pregnancy is the least significant aspect of the experience of being pregnant.
Well, for many women this is true. But what does this have to do with the smug, feminized idiots who claim they are pregnant along with their wives?
Not at all, thank you.
You may be right, but the woman may also be yanking the BF's chain because he did not immediately offer marriage. It's also possible that he "talks the talk" but prior experience shows he won't walk the walk. Does he have any other bastard children?
If you do any Pregnancy Care Center work or talk to the volunteers there, you will quickly find that the number one reason they are considering abortion is because no one in the mother's life wants her to have the baby or is actively engaged in "discouraging" her into an abortion. These women feel lost and abandoned and more often than not have no knowledge of Christ or God except what they heard in school or t.v.
This great tragedy is not just about women, but about an entire broken society that chooses death and despair over life and hope.
No one said that.
But you sure weren't very nice to the woman who pointed out that this "we are pregnant" stuff is nonsense. Saying that, apparently, means that you don't appreciate your husband's sacrifices!
It's not nonsense. Things that effect an entire family by definition affect an entire family.
A decent man's lifestyle changes significantly when his wife is pregnant.
Your obsessive literalism ignores this fact.
If something happens to my wife it happens to me. If someone insults my wife, I take it as a personal insult - he insulted us.
He may not have literally said it to me - I don't much care.
If my wife is overjoyed by something - like her mother's remission from cancer - I am overjoyed too.
Our experiences are not separable.
When Christ said that man and wife are "become one flesh" He did not mean that the bodies of husband and wife oozed into an indistinguishable mass.
But He did mean that they were one.
Would you say to Him "What is this 'one flesh' nonsense?"
It's sense.
In a spiritual sense, yes. But they don't occupy the same body.
The thing that bothers me about the whole "we are pregnant" thing is that the man is trying to equate his experience with his wife's. That is simply not so. You can try to understand, you can be supportive, some men even walk around with those silly empathy bellies. But they aren't pregnant. They don't feel the discomfort, they don't feel the same way about the baby moving, they don't give birth. They don't have the same connection. Is the connection every bit as valid? Of course. But it is different.
WE are not pregnant. The woman is. I'm sorry guys can't experience it in the same way. But it is a fact.
Tradition has long observed that only women are pregnant, however connected the father and other family and friens are to the event. A couple claiming that "we" are pregnant is defying reality, and asking us to play along. It's bogus and a bit emasculating, not to mention vaguely insulting to the woman who bears the baby and labors to bring it into the world, in my opinion.
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