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Did the earth mooove for you? (Teenager disrespects cow at 4:30 AM)
The Sun (U.K.) ^ | July 6, 2007 | ROBIN PERRIE

Posted on 07/05/2007 11:20:18 PM PDT by Stoat

 

Did the earth mooove for you?

 
Blondie ... identity protected and, inset, Richard, whose herd it all now
 
Blondie ... identity protected and, inset, Richard, who has herd it all now

 
 
 
By ROBIN PERRIE
July 06, 2007
 
 
 

 
COPS rushed to a farm to put a kinky teenager udder arrest — after he was seen romping with a COW.

 

A shocked passer-by rang 999 after seeing the youth — wearing only black briefs — having sex with the steer at 4.30am.

By the time officers arrived he had fled but night-time patrols are on the alert in case he strikes again.

Farmer Richard Parish was stunned to hear what had happened to the cow, one of three rare English longhorns in the field.

Specialist breeder Richard, 39, even thinks he knows which of them was the victim — a looker named Blondie who is the FRIENDLIEST.

He said: “English longhorns are lovely animals — but not that lovely. My mates are having a right laugh and milking it for all it is worth.”

The teenager was scared off when the passer-by shouted at him at Richard’s farm in Skipwith, North Yorks. Locals in the tiny village, which has a population of less than 300, are certain he was not from the area.

Richard thinks the attacker may even have “wooed” Blondie with grub because a feed bucket had mysteriously moved from time to time.

He added: “I have got to be much more vigilant. The cows don’t seem to be spending so much time outside and are happier inside the barn at night.”

Fellow farmer Alan Patrick said: “I can’t believe it.”

Police said: “We are treating this matter seriously.”



TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: agriculture; animalhusbandry; cilf; cow; farming; pasturepoon; steer; viniusinvictus
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"cough" (not saying a word)
1 posted on 07/05/2007 11:20:21 PM PDT by Stoat
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To: Stoat
It’s now a Bum Steer.

Nothing to see here, Mooooooove along...

2 posted on 07/05/2007 11:22:50 PM PDT by Syncro
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To: festus

Sounds like a job for Free Republic’s Deputy Sheriff.


3 posted on 07/05/2007 11:25:26 PM PDT by Stoat (Rice / Coulter 2008: Smart Ladies for a Strong America)
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To: Stoat

I hope, at least, the cow got dinner and a movie first.


4 posted on 07/05/2007 11:25:29 PM PDT by MarkeyD (Just another country bumpkin looking forward to Fred!)
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To: Stoat

“(not saying a word)”

Occasionally, words are unnecessary.


5 posted on 07/05/2007 11:26:09 PM PDT by decal (Sign over DNC headquarters: Please Check Common Sense And Morals At The Door)
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To: Stoat

We should start working on cross breeding humans and cows. You know, just in case that whole “Population Bomb” thing ever does go off, it would be a good idea to have a tastier brand of human to feed on.


6 posted on 07/05/2007 11:28:29 PM PDT by Grimmy (equivocation is but the first step along the road to capitulation)
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To: Stoat

7 posted on 07/05/2007 11:31:19 PM PDT by Daffynition (Label Warning: Formerly known as "rainbow sprinkles")
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To: Daffynition

LMAO!!!!


8 posted on 07/05/2007 11:32:08 PM PDT by Stoat (Rice / Coulter 2008: Smart Ladies for a Strong America)
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To: Stoat
“English longhorns are lovely animals — but not that lovely.

Texas Longhorns, on the other hand...

My mates are having a right laugh and milking it for all it is worth.”

I really hope that pun wasn't intentional.

9 posted on 07/05/2007 11:32:14 PM PDT by GOP_Raider (FReepmail me to join the FR Idaho Ping List.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Check this out, it’s udderly ridiculous!


10 posted on 07/05/2007 11:33:47 PM PDT by GOP_Raider (FReepmail me to join the FR Idaho Ping List.)
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To: Stoat
...after he was seen romping with a COW.
...having sex with the steer at 4.30am.

Okay, I'm confused. Was it a steer, a male bovine, or was it a cow, a female bovine?
The discrepency matters, especially for the later attempts at humor...
My mates are having a right laugh and milking it for all it is worth.
...know what I mean? (eeeewwwwww!)

11 posted on 07/05/2007 11:39:26 PM PDT by philman_36
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To: GOP_Raider
I think it was. As it is, here too, in the caption below the photo:

"Blondie ... identity protected and, inset, Richard, who has herd it all now"

12 posted on 07/05/2007 11:39:27 PM PDT by CarrotAndStick (The articles posted by me needn't necessarily reflect my opinion.)
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To: GOP_Raider

not..necessarily..so

the..article..says..steer

steer..here..has..special..significance

aint..no..udder..there

Robin,..learn..the..diff


13 posted on 07/05/2007 11:41:00 PM PDT by himno hero
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To: philman_36
...after he was seen romping with a COW.
...having sex with the steer at 4.30am.

Okay, I'm confused. Was it a steer, a male bovine, or was it a cow, a female bovine?
The discrepency matters, especially for the later attempts at humor...
My mates are having a right laugh and milking it for all it is worth.
...know what I mean? (eeeewwwwww!)

I'm not touching this with a 'ten foot anything'.

14 posted on 07/05/2007 11:41:52 PM PDT by Stoat (Rice / Coulter 2008: Smart Ladies for a Strong America)
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To: Stoat
COPS rushed to a farm to put a kinky teenager udder arrest — after he was seen romping with a COW.

A shocked passer-by rang 999 after seeing the youth — wearing only black briefs — having sex with the steer at 4.30am.

Dang city folks, don't know the difference between a cow and a steer.

15 posted on 07/05/2007 11:43:25 PM PDT by Straight Vermonter (Posting from deep behind the Maple Curtain)
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To: GOP_Raider

I’ll bet it would be hilarious to sit in a pub with a pint, buy all the farmers a round, and listen to them laugh their heads off.


16 posted on 07/05/2007 11:47:15 PM PDT by KittyKares
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To: Straight Vermonter
COPS rushed to a farm to put a kinky teenager udder arrest — after he was seen romping with a COW.

A shocked passer-by rang 999 after seeing the youth — wearing only black briefs — having sex with the steer at 4.30am.

Dang city folks, don't know the difference between a cow and a steer.

Agreed....the confusion is disconcerting.  Perhaps the animal refused to divulge it's sexual identity to the reporter because it feared discrimination?

17 posted on 07/05/2007 11:47:19 PM PDT by Stoat (Rice / Coulter 2008: Smart Ladies for a Strong America)
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To: Daffynition
A cartoon with a bull with udders.
Must've been where the author did their research!
18 posted on 07/05/2007 11:49:00 PM PDT by philman_36
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To: philman_36

If it is a steer, your are queer.


19 posted on 07/05/2007 11:49:08 PM PDT by razorback-bert (Posted by Time's Man of the Year)
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To: GOP_Raider; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...



20 posted on 07/05/2007 11:49:11 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Gaza: Your one-stop schadenfreude entertainment center.)
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