Posted on 09/08/2007 5:50:47 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana
Why I might obey Osama bin Laden and convert to Islam:
because Islam is a religion of peace (and if you don’t agree with that, a Muslim will kill you!).
because taxes under the World-wide Caliphate will only be 2.5 percent. Which means that there will be no Democrats in Paradise--which explains how there can be so many "72 virgins" there.
because Islam is actually anti-Democrat because it claims to be pro-Democrat. I love double-speak.
because it is misogynistic. Women should take their rightful place at least three paces behind men--five behind camels!
because it would stone or behead immoral people (Does that include suicide bombers and those who crash airplanes into building? Note to self: Ask the Imam.)
because my grandchildren could attend a public school Madrassa in New York at taxpayers expense.
because of Islam’s support for the Kyoto Protocol and coerced participation in the “Don’t pee in the pool”-policy. Infidel nations like India and China would do their fair share or be gassed or beheaded--or both.
because I would look good in a turban.
because WWMD is the way to live—and die!
because Islam is green. A return to a medieval society that is in an ox-cart culture—would mean that we could save the world from Global Warming, stop drowning polar bears and stop the riches flowing to OPEC.
You could have sex with multiple "wives" and divorce them by just say "I divorce you" three times
Plus you can have sex with girls as young as 9 years old if that is your thing..
Why I won’t:
1. I’m a Christian. With all our flaws (myself definitely included) I still think we’re ultimately on the right path.
2. Even if that weren’t a dealbreaker, I likes me my carnitas and Cadillac margaritas way too much.
That tax rate is for Muslims.
Under Shari law us infidels pay a much higher rate, sort of like under the democrats
Kin ah get me one of those full auto AK-47s, an RPG git up, and lotsa ammo ammo for both?
Oh, and one of them fancy sabers for lopping infidels?
I don’t know about that, Keli. The Democrats are going to have a hard time squeezing past the Pearly Gates as it is, but when the Muslims take over and make the rules, the Democrats’ best chance will be a snowball’s in hell—because in this world and Paradise they won’t even have that.
Before attacking, a Muslim is obligated to give an infidel one last chance to "embrace Islam"
Bush Mulls Bin Laden Offer to Convert to Islam
By Scott Ott, Editor-in-Chief, ScrappleFace.com
News Fairly Unbalanced. We Report. You Decipher.
(2007-09-07) — Just hours after the release of al Qaeda leader Usama bin Laden’s latest video message inviting all Americans to convert to Islam, U.S. President George said he would “seriously consider the offer, because it sure would simplify the war in Iraq.”
“If I convert to Islam and order all of our troops to do the same,” said Mr. Bush, “we can stay in Iraq indefinitely, drop the restrictive rules of engagement, save a lot of money by using cheap, unguided bombs, clear neighborhoods flat out, blow up mosques with impunity and still go to heaven — not to mention that I’d get more favorable coverage from the U.S. news media.”
The president added that he might convert to Islam just to “find out what it’s like to be a man who wears a dress and a bonnet and dyes his hair like a girl.”
Actually, that beauty pageant contestant made more sense about why people can’t read maps.
That takes the cake! I love scrappleface, and scrapple too.
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