Posted on 09/12/2007 8:56:06 PM PDT by Doofer
Fred Thompson's plunge into the presidential pool -- more belly-flop than swan dive -- was the strangest product launch since that of New Coke in 1985. Then the question was: Is this product necessary? A similar question stumped Thompson the day he plunged.
Sean Hannity, who is no Torquemada conducting inquisitions of conservatives, asked Thompson: "When you look at the other current crop of candidates -- Republicans -- where is the distinction between your positions and what you view as theirs?" Thompson replied: "Well, to tell you the truth, I haven't spent a whole lot of time going into the details of their positions."
He also is unfamiliar with the details of his own positions. Consider his confusion the next day when talk radio host Laura Ingraham asked him about something he ardently supported -- the McCain-Feingold expansion of government regulation of political speech. His rambling, incoherent explanation was just clear enough to be alarming about what he believes, misremembers and does not know.
Thompson said he had advocated McCain-Feingold to prevent, among other things, corporations and labor unions from "giving large sums of money to individual politicians." But corporate and union contributions to individual candidates were outlawed in 1907 and 1947, respectively.
Ingraham asked about McCain-Feingold's ban on issue ads that mention a candidate close to an election. He blamed an unidentified "they" who "added on" that provision, which he implied was a hitherto undiscussed surprise.
(Excerpt) Read more at realclearpolitics.com ...
Fred is going to win. He has a certain quality. He cant be stopped. The people love him.
If Wills were half as smart as he thinks he is, he would be richer than Warren Buffet.
I luv reading Fred in his own words...
More More More !!
Poor George has sand in his vagina again.
What a great comparison! Fred Thompson is the New Coke! A disaster waiting to happen.
Giuliani butt kissers like Deroy Murdock, Sean Hannity and George Will aren’t gonna have any impact on Fred Thompson`s campaign. They might even get Fred some extra votes. LOL
He’s about to get his sand pounded.
What a stupid hit piece. Fred has since said he regretted campaign finance reform. Who the hell cares whether or not he goes to church. Having said that, what is the point of this trash article that is worthy of the New York Times...
Poor George has sand
Maybe.....but if his Thompson quotes are not doctored and his facts are straight, freddy’s got problems.
As I recall, George has a crush on Giuliani.
Is George really necessary?!
More More More !!
How do like it? How do you like it?
Andrea True Connection 1976
His characterizations of recent Fred interviews are unsullied by reality.
George Will turned the corner, and jumped the fence several years ago.
His support of rooty sealed the deal.
He’s passed into insignificance.
Buh bye, Georgie porgy.
George F. Will.....Dana Carvey
Mike Schmidt.....Corbin Bernsen
Tommy Lasorda.....Jon Lovitz
Sam Donaldson.....Kevin Nealon
Sam Donaldson Voice-over: It’s “George F. Will’s Sports Machine”, the sports trivia show for the real fan. And now, here’s your quizmaster, syndicated columnist, George F. Will.
[ cut to game studio, with an audience of die-hard sports fans cheering, as George F Will enters ]
George F. Will: Good evening. “Sports, say the ancient Greeks, is morally serious because mankind’s noblest aim, is the loving contemplation of worthy things.” That’s an excerpt from my new book on baseball entitled.. [ holds up book ] “Men at Work”, and I’d say it’s particularly a propos in light of today’s Expo-Padre game. [ audience issues a blank, sluggish stare ] Joining me today are two gentlemen who would no doubt agree. First, former slugger for the Philadelphia Phillies, Mike Schmidt. Good day, Mike. Tell us, what do you miss most since retiring from baseball last year?
Mike Schmidt: Well, George, I guess I miss going to the ballpark every day.
George F. Will: Ah yes, ballparks. In humanity there exists a vestigial memory of an enclosed green space as a place of freedom or play.
Mike Schmidt: [ confused ] Yeah. I guess.
George F. Will: Excellent. Competing with Mr. Schmidt today is skillful practitioner of the managerial arts - from the Dodgers, Tommy Lasorda. Salutations, Tommy.
Tommy Lasorda: [ slaps his stomach ] Good to see you, George. I’m ready to play!
George F. Will: Well, the manager’s role is one of both hector and helper, naysayer and nexus. Around his circumference lies the full measure of the game.
Tommy Lasorda: I.. uh.. well, I’m ready to play!
George F. Will: Very well. Let us engage the sports machine. Gentlemen, as always, the questions will focus exclusively on baseball, the only game that transcends the boundary between fury and repose. All right, hands on buzzers. [ he hits several buttons on the machine, which spits out a quiz card that George reads ] “The precarious balance between infield and outfield suggests a perfect symmetry. For $50, identify the effect of that symmetry.”
[ the contestants stare cluelessly, as the buzzer sounds ]
George F. Will: Sorry. The answer is: “The exhilarating tension between being and becoming.” Being and becoming. Next question: [ hits several buttons, dispensing another card ] “In 1954, Willie Mays, in an emphatic stroke of Byzantine whimsy, made his over-the-shoulder catch off of Vic Wertz. What was it not unlike?” [ no answers ] Take it? Anyone?
Mike Schmidt: The.. uh.. the catch in Cincinnati that.. [ buzzer sounds ]
George F. Will: Sorry. “It was not unlike watching Atlantis rise again from the sea, the bones of its kings new-covered with flesh.” [ audience members stare blankly in awe ] Well, gentlemen, no score as of yet, but the night is young. Perhaps what you gentlemen need is a little incentive, so here to tell you about today’s prizes is our own Sam Donaldson.
Sam Donaldson: Thank you, George. Thank you. Today’s winner will receive a copy of Roget’s Expanded Thesaurus. [ holds up book, singing ] “Buy me a Roget’s and crackerjacks, I don’t care if I never come back. And they’ll also receive.. [ holds prize up ] ..Chocowhip, chocolate-flavored whip topping. It’s sweet and fluffy. Mmmm, Chocowhip!
George F. Will: Sam, isn’t it somewhat of a given that a whip topping would be sweet and fluffy?
Sam Donaldson: Oh, come off it, George! You can’t see the forest for the trees!
George F. Will: We’ll continue this spirited discussion later. As for now, it’s time we moved on to the Big Board. And the categories are: “Baseball as Narrative”, “Aristotle and Comiskey”, “Joyce Carol Oates”, “Left Field: Myth or Monopeia?”, “Pitch Patch Potch”, “Dulce et Decorum Est”, and “Pot Luck”. Mike, choose a category.
Mike Schmidt: [ contemplating ] Uh.. “Pot Luck”.
George F. Will: Very well. [ $100 card under category is removed, revealing question ] “Like freedom, baseball is that stake where energy and order merge, and all complexity is purified into a simple coherence.” Piffle, or not piffle?
Mike Schmidt: Uh.. piffle.
[ bell sounds ]
George F. Will: That is correct, it’s absolute piffle. It’s baseball’s complexity, not its purity, that instills in us our freedom, and you have $100.
Tommy Lasorda: Hey, wait a minute! What’s this piffle crap? What kind of question is that?
George F. Will: I’m sorry, Tommy, but this is not a forum here for debating the merits..
Tommy Lasorda: Oh, no, no, this isn’t a joke. I’m playing for a bunch of kids in the hospital, you’re making me look like a chump!
Mike Schmidt: I feel kind of stupid too!
George F. Will: Everything in good time, gentlemen. We certainly need to..
Tommy Lasorda: Let me ask you something: you ever play baseball?
George F. Will: If, by play, you mean drink deep the aura of the game, then..
Tommy Lasorda: No no, I mean play the game.. in the field.. in the field. Here. [takes out a baseball and throws it to George ] Throw this ball.
George F. Will: I’m sorry, Mr. Lasorda, but my duties as quizmaster compel me to move the game along.
Sam Donaldson: Throw the ball, George! Throw the ball.
George F. Will: Shut up, Sam! Now then, next question. Mike, you have control of the board..
Mike Schmidt: Throw the ball! Come on, throw the ball!
Tommy Lasorda: Throw the ball! Throw the ball!
[ audience joins in chants of “Throw the ball!”, as George, confusedly, tries to think of what to do. Overcome by the crowd, he releases the ball weakly, landing only a few feet in front of him. Everyone laughs, and George, embarrassed, breaks into a weak run and leaves the studio. ]
Sam Donaldson: [ pointing ] He’s getting away!
[ Tommy Lasorda and Mike Schmidt chase George, leaving Studio 8H and running into the hallway. They pass actual photos of the “SNL” cast members as they leave. Superimposed title and music plays. ]
Sam Donaldson Voice-over: That’s all for today’s “Sport’s Machine” this week. Good night.
[ fade out ]
In fact, I'm still trying to figure out just exactly what he is and I'm sure he's trying to figure it out as well.
He is what happens when the liberal media selects token 'conservatives' for their talk shows.
These are the same people who gave us Tucker Carlson.
What? No mention of his Fantastic 102 Constitutional Amendments plan?
“What a stupid hit piece. Fred has since said he regretted campaign finance reform”
How can he regret it? He can’t even explain it.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.