Posted on 10/13/2007 10:36:34 AM PDT by MosesKnows
This business of “offset credits” has become most interesting. It is even more interesting now that Al Gore has managed to secure, or perhaps I should say, “procure”, a Nobel Prize. Interesting enough to consider a new line of business.
My first awareness of offset credits was actually a creation of the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church hit upon a money-making scheme that allowed indulgences to be purchased. Payment for these indulgences provided what the Catholics referred to as “dispensations”.
A brief review of Canon Law reveals that a dispensation suspended a general rule of law. Paying a dispensation would provide someone an indulgence, which was relief from a hardship caused by the picky application of a law.
Who but a boob like Al Gore would think to carry that thought into a money making venture called “carbon offset credits”? Al Gore has proven that a considerably large number of fools remain in the world. Observing these fools has caused me to ponder the merit of capitalizing on the offset credits for money idea.
My new company, Offset Credits R Us will be offering a wide range of offset credits. My lawyers are in the process of drawing up corporate papers and reviewing any possible trademark or copyright infringements. My accountants are meticulously calculating the possible profit margins and my public relations people are diligently working on an affordable introduction campaign. Al “the boob” Gore is already offering carbon offset credits and they are not included in my offerings. However, for a very nominal fee I will be offering offset credits for racism, abortions, lies, conspiracies, and fraud. We are still studying how Al Gore is able to perpetrate his global climate change hoax and avoid arrest for extortion and fraud with his carbon offset credits.
In the future, I will be adding offset credits for insults and illegal immigration. I had considered adding offsets for ignorance but my research indicated that many ignorant people are ignorant by choice. They have had several opportunities to offset their ignorance at virtually no cost but time after time, they chose to forego the opportunity. The market size for ignorance offsets is just to small to be profitable.
However, as an example, insult offset credits would function in this fashion. After paying a fee “Offset Credits “R” Us” will offset your insult by passing on a sincere, well thought out, and colorful compliment. Payment can be cash or credit card. After proper credit approval checks will be accepted. Quantity discounts will be available for repeat customers.
My scientists have an industrious effort underway to tackle that pesky continental drift problem and beat Al Gore to the market with our “continental drift” offsets. We expect a dramatic up tick in the price of out stock once we learn to control the position of the world’s Tectonic plates the way Al Gore learned to control the global climate.
Immediately upon incorporation, my company will begin to lobby congress for entitlements from the public treasury. These entitlements will be used to subsidize the payment of offset credits for those who want to use our services but can’t afford the cost of offset credits.
My wife for a long time has been buying up carbon in the form of diamonds... Maybe we could turn it around in a way that would make some money.
Lol, we like diamonds but you’re going to be sad if you think you can sell even the best of diamonds for a profit. You may not be offered even half the value.
LOL, that arrow is pointing right at my comment so you could have left out the BSCredits!!
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LOL!
I’ve forgotten how many Offset Credits I’ve got on special this week!
They’re selling good on E-Bay, huh?? snicker..
Many of my Liberal family members and some of my Liberal neighbors claim I've been insulting them a lot lately and I need to clean up my insult mouth print:-)
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algore sells them on U-Pay
You are too witty, lol.
Ha! That is classic. I simply had not thought about how like selling indulgences the Carbon Offsets are. Just another indication that the environmentalism is a religion.
Liberal insult offset credits can be very tricky. It very often is not actually an insult when dealing with liberals. The reason for this is that liberals are unencumbered by a thought process. This result in liberals considering anything in disagreement an insult.
That title reminds me: We can buy toys at Toys R Us. Toys R Us also owns Kids R Us and Babies R Us. So how come they never have kids and babies in stock?
I guess my first error was in getting my letter published in the local newspaper castigating the Dems...and it turned out that their daughter was married to our Democrat State Rep.
oops!
I hadn't considered it brain damaged but rather just lacking. I have a published theory about liberals. The basic premise of the theory is that a liberal is a person who lack the gene other humans have that allow reality to be processed.
The theory is unproven but there is an immense amount of empirical evidence to support the theory’s premise. I would be pleased to share some of that evidence if you’re interested.
The problem with liberals is they have given up conceiving of any kind of personal success not built either on a scam, or a government handout. With global warming and carbon credits, they get both.
Tell me your theory.
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