Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Hillary Insures Her Piano Legs for $10 Million
The Peoples Cube ^ | 10/12/07 | fit_to_print_news

Posted on 10/19/2007 7:35:31 AM PDT by laotzu

(LONDON) A decade-long rumor was confirmed today when it was announced that Hillary Clinton has insured her piano legs for $10 million with Lloyds of London. Until yesterday the public had only known of Hillary's piano legs through anecdotal evidence because no known pictures of them existed. For example, in March 2006 Chris Matthews of MSNBC's Hardball called Hillary, "Dukakis in a dress," and noted that she has better calves than former Democratic Presidential nominee Michael Dukakis.

Washington pundits speculate that Clinton has chosen this time to insure her legs because she expects Rudy Giuliani to emerge as her probable Republican rival in the Presidential race. Pictures of Rudy in a dress, taken when he appeared briefly as "the Don in a thong" on Broadway, regularly circulate on the internet and show what a Hillary spokesperson calls, "a very shapely set of gams."

Howard Dean, Chairman of the Democratic Party, expects Hillary to unveil her piano legs after she secures the Democratic nomination. He speculates that it will generate more buzz than when Hillary revealed her cleavage on the Senate floor this year in front of CSPAN cameras.

According to urbandictionary.com, a reference site widely used by urban hipsters, piano legs are "disproportionately thick calves and/or ankles on a woman with otherwise normal body weight." It also cites the Democratic presidential frontrunner in its example of proper usage of the phrase: "No wonder Hillary Clinton always wears pant suits. She's got a humongous set of piano legs."

Although Lloyds used their press release to heavily promote Hanes® new Hiphugger-High™ support panty hose, a product targeting the aging baby boom generation, they seemed delighted to underwrite a set of legs as famous as Hillary's. A spokesperson for the Clinton campaign would neither confirm nor deny Hillary's possible endorsement of the new Hanes product.

Clinton joins company with Betty Grable and Marlene Dietrich, two notables with million dollar legs underwritten by Lloyds. However, all three fall far short of Mariah Carey who insured her legs for $1 billion last year before embarking on an advertising campaign for Gillette.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: hillary; sarcasm; spoof

1 posted on 10/19/2007 7:35:34 AM PDT by laotzu
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: laotzu

I just called them “FAT”


2 posted on 10/19/2007 7:37:03 AM PDT by Zathras
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: laotzu

If she had her ass insured, she’d have to have multiple coverages.


3 posted on 10/19/2007 7:37:11 AM PDT by Slapshot68
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: laotzu
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
4 posted on 10/19/2007 7:39:47 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Slapshot68
If she had her ass insured, she’d have to have multiple coverages.

No it wouldn't. It would be comprehensive since she's all ass.

5 posted on 10/19/2007 7:40:43 AM PDT by P8riot (I carry a gun because I can't carry a cop.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: laotzu

Hillary actually has a “Coke Bottle” figure..............3 Liter.................


6 posted on 10/19/2007 7:41:14 AM PDT by Red Badger ( We don't have science, but we have consensus.......)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro

In that middle picture she looks like Ethyl Mertz.............


7 posted on 10/19/2007 7:42:27 AM PDT by Red Badger ( We don't have science, but we have consensus.......)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: laotzu

I thought cankles were un-insurable?


8 posted on 10/19/2007 7:42:48 AM PDT by Rb ver. 2.0 (The WOT will end when pork products are weaponized)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Slapshot68
If she had her ass insured, she’d have to have multiple coverages.

Not until she filed an Environmental Impact Study.

9 posted on 10/19/2007 7:44:44 AM PDT by AU72
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

Comment #10 Removed by Moderator

To: laotzu

Didn’t I read somewhere that she wears corrective pantyhose? If not “corrective,” then I’m sure it was prescription pantyhose.


11 posted on 10/19/2007 7:53:58 AM PDT by laweeks
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Zathras

How about a satire tag on the headline?

I was not familiar with theat website, and with the loony headlines of today, who knows?


12 posted on 10/19/2007 7:59:27 AM PDT by Red in Blue PA (Truth : Liberals :: Kryptonite : Superman)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: laotzu
Did you hear about Hillary?
She is loathsome and shrillery!

Between her eyes, socialism lies.
Between her thighs ________ lies.

The blanks are to keep me from getting banned.
Sorry if someone has nightmares over the visual.

13 posted on 10/19/2007 8:00:59 AM PDT by HuntsvilleTxVeteran (Remember the Alamo, Goliad and WACO, It is Time for a new San Jacinto)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Slapshot68
"If she had her ass insured, she’d have to have multiple coverages."


14 posted on 10/19/2007 8:01:25 AM PDT by vietvet67
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Slapshot68
If she had her ass insured, she’d have to have multiple coverages.

That's what we in the insurance business call "excess liability" coverage.

15 posted on 10/19/2007 8:03:45 AM PDT by andy58-in-nh (Kill the terrorists, secure the borders, and give me back my freedom.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Rb ver. 2.0
I thought cankles were un-insurable?

There must be an insurable interest before anything can be insured.
I don't know of anyone that is interested.

16 posted on 10/19/2007 8:09:12 AM PDT by laotzu
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Red in Blue PA
How about a satire tag on the headline?

See keywords below article.

17 posted on 10/19/2007 8:10:47 AM PDT by laotzu
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Slapshot68

Seriously, how much to you think Hillary weighs? 150lbs, 160lbs?


18 posted on 10/19/2007 8:11:16 AM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: andy58-in-nh
That's what we in the insurance business call "excess liability" coverage.

Available in the Excess & Surplus market.

19 posted on 10/19/2007 8:12:19 AM PDT by laotzu
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: Slapshot68
If she had her ass insured, she’d have to have multiple coverages, and if she tried to haul ass, she'd have to make multiple trips..
20 posted on 10/19/2007 8:13:07 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (DC scandals. Republicans address them, Democrats reelect them. (Tom De Lay 8/30/07))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: P8riot

It would take multiple trips for her to haul ass.


21 posted on 10/19/2007 8:17:53 AM PDT by Piquaboy (22 year veteran of the Army, Air Force and Navy, Pray for all our military .)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: laotzu

I think the cankle clause would make any leg policy worthless.


22 posted on 10/19/2007 8:24:19 AM PDT by Rb ver. 2.0 (The WOT will end when pork products are weaponized)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Slapshot68

Insurable legs.

23 posted on 10/19/2007 8:30:38 AM PDT by oyez (Justa' another high minded lowlife.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: laotzu
Click to enlarge.
24 posted on 10/19/2007 8:34:11 AM PDT by RedWireNut
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Zathras

If you figure her premium on a per pound basis,then it’s not unreasonable.That’s a lot of tonnage to cover.


25 posted on 10/19/2007 9:13:30 AM PDT by Farmer Dean (168 grains of instant conflict resolution)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: laotzu

I’m willing to bet we, the taxpayers, pay these premiums.

Somebody gotta dig and see where the money for this policy really comes from.


26 posted on 10/19/2007 9:23:46 AM PDT by George from New England
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: laotzu

I am not a hillere fan.
I cannot stand the woman.
She is a fake and a phony.
She is a liar plain and simple.
She in my opinion is an evil person with a personal agenda that is NOT in the interest of the United States.
She is NOT QUALIFIED to be President of these United States
THOSE are the reasons I do not like her
THOSE are the reasons I would not vote for her

Having said that...I think the attacks on her physical stature do nothing but bring us down to the level of the opposition. There are lots of people both men and women who have weight problems. Everyone is built differently and has nothing to do with whether or not he/she can lead. hilllereee clintin cannot lead. She is NOT Presidential Fodder. Never has been...never will be.

Let’s stop with the attacks on her weight.


27 posted on 10/19/2007 9:38:37 AM PDT by cubreporter (Rush has done more for this country than any of us will ever know and is STILL wowing us!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: cubreporter

Agreed. There is plenty to oppose about Hillary. She has a normal appearance to me.

If I started knocking all the male candidates for their “shortcomings,” I could have a field day.


28 posted on 10/19/2007 9:53:28 AM PDT by Marie2 (I used to be disgusted. . .now I try to be amused.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: Piquaboy

She’s a one person crowd.


29 posted on 10/19/2007 9:57:07 AM PDT by small voice in the wilderness ( Bumper sticker idea: Hillary/Obama Nation '08. Let the desolation begin)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: HuntsvilleTxVeteran
Between her thighs ________ lies.

Cottage cheese?

30 posted on 10/19/2007 9:58:19 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (...forward this to your 10 very best friends....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Marie2

Field day for sure. Even those we like, right? So, maybe the remarks will stop and instead focus on her shortcomings which we all know she has.


31 posted on 10/19/2007 10:19:46 AM PDT by cubreporter (Rush has done more for this country than any of us will ever know and is STILL wowing us!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson