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Church Massacre Spurs Calls For Effective Gun Control
Transterrestrial Musings ^ | 12-14-2007 | Rand Simberg

Posted on 12/14/2007 1:09:55 PM PST by NonZeroSum

December 14th, 2007

COLORADO SPRINGS (APUPI) As a mass memorial service was held today for the seventy-three victims of the massacre at the New Life Church, one of the largest such grim tolls in the nations' history, gun-control advocates pointed out the continuing folly of allowing civilians access to pistols and assault weapons.

"This never would have happened had Matthew Murray not been able to get his hands on those weapons, " said Sarah Brady, head of Handgun Control, Incorporated. "He had two handguns, an assault rifle, and a thousand rounds of ammunition. Seventy-three people are dead now, because the NRA continues to block reasonable gun-control measures."

With Sunday's slaughter still fresh in the minds of many, she pointed out that now was the time to end such incidents once and for all, with effective laws against both handguns and assault weapons.

The toll was horrific for the church, which lost not only many parishioners, but its senior pastor, Brady Boyd. Also killed was Jeanne Assam, one of the church's security guards. She had bravely stood up and warned the gunman as he entered the building after killing two girls in the parking lot, and pointed out the "gun-free zone" sign at the church entrance. However, she herself was unarmed, per church policy, and was shot down before Murray went on to shoot numerous others behind her.

Some have made the controversial suggestion that the death toll might have been lower had Ms. Assam been allowed to carry a firearm herself, something which, as a former police officer, she was well trained to do. In addition, she held a permit to legally carry a concealed weapon in Colorado. But the church rules, for obvious safety reasons, didn't allow weapons on the premises.

Mrs. Brady finds such suggestions dangerous and ludicrous. "What is a woman going to do with a handgun against a man with two pistols and an assault rifle?" she asked. "Adding more weapons to the mix would only have increased the carnage. What they needed was bigger letters on the sign."


[Copyright 2007 by Rand Simberg]


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Government; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; US: Colorado
KEYWORDS: assam; banglist; church; churchshooting; gun; gunfreezones; humor; idiots; newlifechurch; satire; zones
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An alternate history...
1 posted on 12/14/2007 1:09:59 PM PST by NonZeroSum
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To: NonZeroSum

How about just locking up the madmen?


2 posted on 12/14/2007 1:10:24 PM PST by Brilliant
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To: NonZeroSum
How about eliminating gun-free zones?

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

3 posted on 12/14/2007 1:11:13 PM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives In My Heart Forever)
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To: NonZeroSum

Yeah because if you outlaw it, you’ll stop them from coming into the country.

/sarc off


4 posted on 12/14/2007 1:12:15 PM PST by Slapshot68
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To: NonZeroSum
"This never would have happened had Matthew Murray not been able to get his hands on those weapons, " said Sarah Brady...

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah! Anyone who hates this much can also make a large strap-on bomb from ingredients purchased at Home Depot. Also, the mass murder did not occur because of armed citizens.

Those people are certainly in an alternate universe.

5 posted on 12/14/2007 1:12:50 PM PST by GingisK
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To: Brilliant

How about locking up Sarah, Diane Fineswine, Chucky Schumer, Barby Boxer, et al for their CONTEMPT for the SECOND AMENDMENT?


6 posted on 12/14/2007 1:13:09 PM PST by Dick Bachert
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To: Brilliant
Madmen are not crazy - that is why they target gun free zones.

More liberal carry laws for normal Americans will cut down on whackos - or cut them down.

7 posted on 12/14/2007 1:13:56 PM PST by PeteB570 (Guns, what real men want for Christmas)
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To: NonZeroSum
“This never would have happened had Matthew Murray not been able to get his hands on those weapons, “ said Sarah Brady, head of Handgun Control, Incorporated.

Apparently, this Leftist propagandist hasn’t been keeping up with events since Sept. 11, 2001.

Suicide bombers are killing far more people than madmen with firearms who should have been locked up.

So have IEDs.

If people want to kill, they are quite adept at finding very effective methods.

Had one of those targeted been armed, perhaps the madman would have only gotten a couple of shots off before someone dropped him, a method proved undeniably in Colorado.

8 posted on 12/14/2007 1:14:15 PM PST by Ghost of Philip Marlowe (If Hillary is elected, her legacy will be telling the American people: Better put some ice on that.)
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To: NonZeroSum
Is this dude doing crack ?

9 posted on 12/14/2007 1:14:15 PM PST by Uri’el-2012 (you shall know that I, YHvH, your Savior, and your Redeemer, am the Elohim of Ya'aqob. Isaiah 60:16)
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To: Brilliant

“But the church rules, for obvious safety reasons, didn’t allow weapons on the premises”.

and

Mrs. Brady finds such suggestions dangerous and ludicrous. “What is a woman going to do with a handgun against a man with two pistols and an assault rifle?” she asked. “Adding more weapons to the mix would only have increased the carnage. What they needed was bigger letters on the sign.”

Why is that these gun control fanatics cannot see the stupidity of their reasoning?


10 posted on 12/14/2007 1:14:32 PM PST by Glennb51
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To: NonZeroSum
"What is a woman going to do with a handgun against a man with two pistols and an assault rifle?" she asked.

Uh... Aim carefully and shoot fast?

"What they needed was bigger letters on the sign."

People ought to be ashamed to be that stupid.

11 posted on 12/14/2007 1:14:52 PM PST by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: NonZeroSum

A chilly alternate history.


12 posted on 12/14/2007 1:14:52 PM PST by DBrow
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To: NonZeroSum
You're probably going to regret not putting a "satire" tag on this.

It is Friday, you know, and many Freepers stop paying attention to details in the afternoon.

13 posted on 12/14/2007 1:15:30 PM PST by Mr. Lucky
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To: NonZeroSum
Effective Gun Control is liberalspeak for disarming law abiding folks. Criminals will still be armed. In what universe does the Brady Bunch think criminals will be disarmed? Not in this one, that's for sure.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

14 posted on 12/14/2007 1:16:36 PM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives In My Heart Forever)
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To: NonZeroSum

It also wouldn’t have happened if he had 10 times the weapons...and wasn’t a crazy sicko.


15 posted on 12/14/2007 1:16:46 PM PST by stuartcr (Everything happens as God wants it to.....otherwise, things would be different.)
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To: NonZeroSum

I know! Let’s ban guns in churches!............That’ll make everybody safe!................


16 posted on 12/14/2007 1:16:59 PM PST by Red Badger ( We don't have science, but we do have consensus.......)
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To: NonZeroSum

It isn’t funny at all. Sarah Brady is responsible for countless deaths in the United States. I absolutely despise this bitch. Doesn’t she understand that even a total ban of all gun purchases would not have stopped John Hinckley?


17 posted on 12/14/2007 1:17:27 PM PST by montag813
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To: Izzy Dunne

Internet sarcasm can be fun, but it can also expose ourselves to riducule.


18 posted on 12/14/2007 1:17:53 PM PST by SJSAMPLE
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To: NonZeroSum

Gun control = Tight shot group


19 posted on 12/14/2007 1:19:00 PM PST by vpintheak (Like a muddied spring or a polluted well is a righteous man who gives way to the wicked. Prov. 25:26)
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To: NonZeroSum; Squantos; Joe Brower; Travis McGee

I thought Hillary was pure evil. But no one could be more purely evil than Sarah Brady.


20 posted on 12/14/2007 1:19:21 PM PST by Larry Lucido (Hunter 2008)
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To: NonZeroSum

Ms Assam *demonstrated* effective gun control.


21 posted on 12/14/2007 1:20:02 PM PST by No Truce With Kings (The opinions expressed are mine! Mine! MINE! All Mine!)
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To: NonZeroSum

Gud control killed almost 3,000 Americans on 9/11.


22 posted on 12/14/2007 1:20:55 PM PST by libstripper
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To: NonZeroSum

If this wasn’t so damn scary, it might actually be funny. But this is where we’re headed if the citizenry of this country don’t get their collective heads out of their collective arses.


23 posted on 12/14/2007 1:22:02 PM PST by paulcissa (The first requirement of Liberalism is to stand on your head and tell the world they're upside down)
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To: Mr. Lucky
HeHe...

Noticed that too eh?...((;O)

24 posted on 12/14/2007 1:22:19 PM PST by pandemoniumreigns
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To: Mr. Lucky; NonZeroSum
You're probably going to regret not putting a "satire" tag on this.

See my tagline...

25 posted on 12/14/2007 1:24:01 PM PST by Onelifetogive (* Sarcasm tag ALWAYS required. For some FReepers, sarcasm can NEVER be obvious enough.)
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To: montag813

Ummm....Note to Sarah - it was a handgun that stopped the massacre! More guns = less massacres and more dead criminals.


26 posted on 12/14/2007 1:24:21 PM PST by DaveyB (Ignorance is part of the human condition - atheism makes it permanent!)
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To: Brilliant

Start by locking up Sarah Brady..


27 posted on 12/14/2007 1:24:27 PM PST by sheik yerbouty ( Make America and the world a jihad free zone!)
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To: Mr. Lucky

So I noticed!


28 posted on 12/14/2007 1:27:30 PM PST by Edgerunner (If you won't let the military fight your battles, you will have to. Keep your powder dry...)
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To: NonZeroSum

A view from Colorado Springs: that is just outstanding. Best post I’ve seen in months, maybe years.


29 posted on 12/14/2007 1:30:53 PM PST by jammer
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To: Glennb51

>>Why is that these gun control fanatics cannot see the stupidity of their reasoning?

They don’t want to.


30 posted on 12/14/2007 1:31:12 PM PST by vikingd00d
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To: NonZeroSum

I can’t believe some have fallen for this!


31 posted on 12/14/2007 1:31:44 PM PST by Red_Devil 232 (VietVet - USMC All Ready On The Right? All Ready On The Left? All Ready On The Firing Line!)
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To: XeniaSt
"Is this dude doing crack"?

Turn off your "Irony Filter". Then maybe you'll understand it.
32 posted on 12/14/2007 1:31:55 PM PST by conservativeharleyguy (Technically, we are all Republicans.)
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To: Mr. Lucky
You're probably going to regret not putting a "satire" tag on this

I started at the bottom and hit on yours. I thought, "No one could be stupid enough to miss the satire." Then I read up. Damn if some of the posts above don't prove you correct.

33 posted on 12/14/2007 1:32:54 PM PST by jammer
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To: SJSAMPLE

It’s not intended to be sarcastic, it’s intended to be ironic. There’s a difference.


34 posted on 12/14/2007 1:33:24 PM PST by conservativeharleyguy (Technically, we are all Republicans.)
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To: NonZeroSum

A weapon in every pew, along with the song book and weekly newsletter.


35 posted on 12/14/2007 1:37:30 PM PST by SGCOS
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To: NonZeroSum

Ms. Brady is like a vulture in a grave yard. She has no shame and is totally absorbed in what happened to her husband years ago. It apparently is all she lives for.

Why doesn;t she go somewhere with effective gun control to live is that is so important to her? I suggest North Korea.


36 posted on 12/14/2007 1:37:37 PM PST by ZULU (Non nobis, non nobis Domine, sed nomini tuo da gloriam. God, guts and guns made America great.)
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To: NonZeroSum

After reading some of the responses to this post I can understand the support for Creationism and ID that I see here from time to time.


37 posted on 12/14/2007 1:37:40 PM PST by Jeff Gordon ("An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it will eat him last." Churchill)
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To: Glennb51
Let's see ~ what would a woman armed with only a pistol do against a guy with several weapons if she were trained to use the weapon?

Why she would 'cap his a$$ Fur Shur, and that's exactly what happened at the other location.

This Brady gal is off her nut.

38 posted on 12/14/2007 1:39:00 PM PST by muawiyah
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To: conservativeharleyguy
Irony
a literary technique, originally used in Greek tragedy,
by which the full significance of a character's words
or actions are clear to the audience or reader although
unknown to the character.

39 posted on 12/14/2007 1:39:59 PM PST by Uri’el-2012 (you shall know that I, YHvH, your Savior, and your Redeemer, am the Elohim of Ya'aqob. Isaiah 60:16)
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To: NonZeroSum

I wonder what Rudy and Mitt have to say?

gun control == liberal. Works every time it’s tried. Try it out for yourself on your liberal friends.


40 posted on 12/14/2007 1:40:43 PM PST by Tarpon
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To: NonZeroSum

Someone once said, “You never hear of them shooting up a police station.”


41 posted on 12/14/2007 1:40:54 PM PST by Jaysun (It's outlandishly inappropriate to suggest that I'm wrong.)
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To: conservativeharleyguy

No, I think irony is when something’s true.

Sarcasm begins and ends in jest.


42 posted on 12/14/2007 1:40:58 PM PST by SJSAMPLE
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To: NonZeroSum

How ‘bout eliminating religious-intolerant low-lifes.


43 posted on 12/14/2007 1:43:53 PM PST by rbosque ("To educate a person in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society." - Teddy Roosevelt)
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To: PeteB570
Madmen are not crazy - that is why they target gun free zones.

I'd be willing to bet this perp thought the church was a gun free zone. A lot of them are. But he was wrong. Now, he's dead wrong.

44 posted on 12/14/2007 1:46:03 PM PST by Vigilanteman (Are there any men left in Washington? Or are there only cowards? Ahmad Shah Massoud)
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To: XeniaSt

Well, I suppose I could Google a definition as well, but I just figured that it’s pretty clear to the audience that this is fiction.

Your definition still holds up though, since it appears that Ms. Brady, as a central character is clueless to the irony of her own ramblings (as she will forever be).


45 posted on 12/14/2007 1:49:12 PM PST by conservativeharleyguy (Technically, we are all Republicans.)
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To: NonZeroSum
"Church Massacre Spurs Calls For Effective Gun Control... What they needed was bigger letters on the sign."

Responsible people practice gun control:
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Bruce Gray training class.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

46 posted on 12/14/2007 1:50:38 PM PST by Cobra64 (www.BulletBras.net)
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To: NonZeroSum
Sarah Brady is an idiot with an agenda. Her anti-gun demagoguery is played out as a sick version of "Weekend at Bernie's" with her husband carted around as a poster boy prop.
47 posted on 12/14/2007 1:53:56 PM PST by Myrddin
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To: NonZeroSum
Sarah Brady needs to be in jail on "accessory to murder" charges from her groups advocacy of victim disarmament laws.

I will continue to bring this point up until someone starts throwing gun hating liberals in jail...

48 posted on 12/14/2007 1:54:30 PM PST by Dead Corpse (What would a free man do?)
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To: Brilliant
How about locking up Sarah Brady? She’s a disgusting, repulsive looking, mindless yenta.
49 posted on 12/14/2007 1:55:11 PM PST by isrul
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To: NonZeroSum

OK Dude, you have to use the satire tag. I just read the first few lines and thought I was going crazy. Googled the shooting to make sure I had it right.
Not real funny.


50 posted on 12/14/2007 1:57:34 PM PST by MGBGUN (Freedom is not free.)
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