Posted on 03/28/2008 11:45:00 PM PDT by bahblahbah
You're not alone, in the dark. While your neighbours get out their rain sticks and hemp shirts, you can amuse yourself
1. Start early. Switch off before the sun sets and soak up the twilight.
2. Go for a walk and see what the neighbours have switched off.
3. Or turn on all the lights in every room and see how long it takes before someone knocks on your door.
4. At which point, you can host an Earth Hour Party: BYO (beeswax!) candle and no plastic cups.
5. One word: Fondue! You get a great meal, no electricity required.
6. Chill your wine outside.
7. Hand-wash your delicates.
8. Harness the combined romance of candlelight and eco-chivalry to pop the question.
9. Dig out your clarinet, ocarina or guitar for an acoustic music night. Practise without looking at your hands.
10. Debate whether one hour can trigger social change.
11. Or just whistle in the dark.
12. Recite memorized poetry.
13. Avoid using anything that requires power. Including batteries.
14. Throw an indoor marshmallow roast (use shish-kebab skewers, mini-marshmallows and a tea light).
15. Go totally 18th-century and play charades by candlelight.
16. Look for stars in the darker night sky, or moon dance.
17. Read a book about the environment.
18. Tell ghost stories. Go down to the basement in a negligee to investigate dark spooky corners.
19. Build a fort out of cushions and blankets (don't take candles inside!).
20. Bust out the Ouija board, host a séance.
21. Dig out your Dungeons and Dragons dice for an atmospheric apocalyptic game.
22. Don't be lame and watch television. You're only going to miss the Habs build a 4-0 lead over the Leafs.
23. Prove to yourself that, yes, you can go 60 minutes without updating your Facebook status.
24. Don't forget fitness. Practise naked yoga.
25. Conserve water. Share a bath.
26. Or go to bed early. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.
27. Consider getting some help if the results of No. 26 only took one minute.
28. Spin a globe to find your next holiday destination.
29. Introduce "Avant-garde Art in the Dark" hour (with a large drop sheet to catch spills).
30. Reject the idea, string yourself in Xmas lights, and walk around as a glowing sculpture.
31. If it's warm, sit on the steps chatting to passersby and comparing notes on living green.
32. Or say to your neighbour, "Dude, this is so Amish."
33. Make streetlight shadow puppets (yes, the streetlights stay on, for safety).
34. Install power bars with on-off switches so you can turn all electricals off at the source when not in use.
35. Designate a weekly "no power hour" for your home.
36. Calculate your annual gas bills. Gasp.
37. Calculate your annual hydro bills. Gasp again. Plan ways to reduce your gas and hydro use.
38. Curse the name of Thomas Edison and damn his tungsten-stained soul to hell.
39. Play dress-up in the dark. Don't wear colour-co-ordinated clothes.
40. If going out, do your makeup by candlelight. It's harder than it seems. Pretend it's eighties punk.
41. Boycott venues that are still switched on.
42. Marvel at an unlit Honest Ed's. Worry about the semi-lit airport.
43. Join a lantern walk in Woodbridge.
44. Catch the train south to watch Niagara Falls go dark for the first time since 2003.
45. Boogie for the planet at the free acoustic concert featuring Nelly Furtado at Nathan Phillips Square.
46. Play with sparklers. Take long-exposure photos of your efforts.
47. Sit in a drumming circle around a candlelit shrine to David Suzuki.
48. Wonder if, at that moment, Parisians are ashamed of their city's nickname. Then laugh at the thought.
49. Soften your ice cream.
50. Pretend you're in Haiti.
51. Join glow-stick soccer games at the Hangar in Downsview Park.
52. Master your origami skills.
53. Invite your neighbours over for a game of Texas Hold 'em.
54. Or scour your home for extraneous packaging you're holding onto and think of ways to reduce it.
55. Put teabag compresses on your eyes.
56. Take your date somewhere discreet and make out.
57. Get busy (yes, again!) and procreate the next generation of resource-sucking bipeds.
58. Start a pool on whether there will be a baby spike in nine months.
59. Hark for sounds of fire engines (see: candle use).
60. Why spoil the fun? Leave the lights out for the rest of the night.
61. Turn on every damn light in the house and leave them on for the whole weekend just to piss off these ecotard lefty nutbag cultists.
If the MSM has it in their minds to show a satellite picture, it might be a good idea to set up a worklight in the backyard and point it upwards.
62. After you’ve returned home from your walk - figure out (without turning on those evil lights) what just got stolen.
Yep, the lights will stay on at my house. Last time I saw a list of states going to do this, Texas wasn’t one of them.
I have this ideation that when a large city turns everything off, when it’s turned on again, the sudden surge will blow all the generators and darkness will continue for days while they scamble to find that many new generators. One can hope this will happen.
63. Pretend you’re in North Korea. Contemplate how much it sucks. Shoot yourself for counterrevolutionary thoghts.
Speak with a North Korean accent. Make stone soup.
64. Find local enviro (weenie,nut) , put him/her out of my misery
64. Sit on the floor in the dark with your 12 ga. shotgun pointed at the door and wait for a couple home invaders to come through it.
Even Google is hyping this on their page.
65. Hang yourself from your light fixture.
Why wait?
Build a bonfire in the middle of your living room and paint prehistoric stick figure drawings on the walls with fingerpaints.
LOL, looked at posting times,
We had same thought, just different approach.
I’m turning on my gas fireplace and getting toasty warm.
66. Burn a stack of old tires.
GMTA strikes again.
“3. Or turn on all the lights in every room and see how long it takes before someone knocks on your door.”
Oh I PRAY someone is stupid enough to come to my house and preach their crap.
They will get a mouthful from me.
Whats the big deal? ALl the lights here in town will be off till way after 8/9 EDST.
All that saved daylight? It’s up here in Alaska, the sun doesn’t set till later than this silly-ness.
Do we get extra carbon credits?
I plan on lighting up my house like a Christmas tree!
64. Find local enviro (weenie,nut) , put him/her out of my misery
65 Burn eco-weenie on bonfire for warmth. Use tallow for candles.
LOL
Book mark, going to be funny night
Sure...don’t go anywhere, sit in the dark, experience no computer, no phone, no cell-phone, no radio, no tv, no washer/dryer, no air-conditioning, no curling iron, no stove, no fridge, no razor, no vacuum cleaner, no stereo, no guitar amp, etc., etc., ad nauseum.
The next day, if you survived without your spouse or kids shooting you, go out and actively support the increase of fossil fuel and nuclear power generating plants.
Eco-chivalry? Man, what kind of testicle-deprived wussbag would pick Earth Hour to pop the question?
After all, it's not a pleasant evening at home until you've involved Satan!
Funny stuff, burning candles and fondue heat produces CO2. Do they know that?
67. Hold your breath for as long as you can. Breathing is not particularly friendly to the environnment, give yourself 2 carbon credits.
68. As a matter of fact, living in general is harmful to the environment, you ought to go to your doctors office as soon as possible and get a vasectomy, give yourself 10 carbon credits.
I’ll celebrate by firing up my spotted owl pellet stove.
I plan to do that, plus turn up my thermostat an extra few degrees, and run my "power-loss backup" propane fireplace. Maybe I can have a "whole-house sauna" for that hour.
We use two electric pots. One for cheese and the other for meats. Open flames burn the contents more often than not.
69: Turn off all lights in house. Go out to camper, and start the 3.5 KW generator. Turn on all lights and appliances in the camper.
I will turn on every light - but I doubt if anyone will come knockin'. I don't think any of my neightbors will care.
'6. Chill your wine outside.'
It wouldn't chill, it would become room temp reallllllll fast.
I read somewhere 95% of CO2 is water vapor - anyone with links to that info?
PS: I'm turning on ALL of my lights at 8pm. Idiots!
70. Don’t forget to turn off your alarm system.
71. Enter the houses of everyone you see observing Earth Hour, turn on all the electrical lights and appliances you can find, and go to the next one.
This one has my vote! I'll turn off the lights, sure... you wanna break in, be prepared to meet Mr. Mossberg and his 00 friends!
This is a pathetic list.
Fire up the grill and mow the yard.
This one should drive the enviros crazy. One more baby to help wreck the earth.
62. Start your SUV gas hog and let it idle in the driveway for no reason.
63. Put up all of your Christmas lights and turn them on all night long.
#61: If a liberal, kill yourself.
One of our buildings at work uses so much electricity that the department has to let Austin utilities know when it goes back on line after it drops off. That happened about a year ago. One transformer at the substation just outside the fence had a hiccup and knocked it offline.
After it was repaired, they threw the switching device and blew the transformer and other switching components completely. That building and several others were dark for about three additional days.
Ignore Earth Hour. It is an advertisement for Algore’s Global Pyramid Scheme.
I’ve got mixed feelings about the story, but I’ll accept it as a cautionary tale. Thanks.
You know, it’s funny. All those family camping trips I plan and execute - they all think it is just recreation...;’}
I smoked two cigars out on the front deck then burned some cardboard boxes out in the back yard.
Keep them thinking that way. The story “Lights Out” is a good one, I think. I like it being pdf, that way you can download the whole thing.
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