Posted on 03/31/2008 10:19:47 PM PDT by B-Chan
Kimberly-Clark Wins Cowboys Stadium Name Game
VALLEY RANCH After several months of secret negotiations, the NFL's Dallas Cowboys and Irving, Texas-based Kimberly-Clark Corporation have inked a sponsorship deal for the new billion-dollar Dallas Cowboys stadium, currently under construction in Arlington, Texas, The stadium will be called Kimberly-Clark Depend® Stadium when it opens in 2009. The name was announced at a press conference on Tuesday by Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and Kimberly-Clark Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Thomas Falk.
"It sounds a little funny at first, I know," a wry Jones told reporters as a ripple of laughter crossed the room, "But, despite the association with, er, incontinence and digestive issues, it's a proud name and a proud product. Kimberly-Cark is a great Dallas-Fort Worth area business, and we couldn't be happier that they've come on board the stadium in such a big way."
K-C CEO Falk appeared noticeably less amused by the smiles of the local press corps. "Yes, I suppose there is a certain giggle factor in naming a pro football field after the Depend® family of adult incontinence undergarments," he said. "But we feel our products Poise Pads, Guards for Men, Depend Protective Underwear, Depend Refastenable Underwear, Fitted Briefs, and Boost liners are a great match for the Cowboys' new home. Both the Cowboys and the Depend brand are synonymous with world-class quality, reliability, and active lifestyles. Besides, it's no stupider than having a Viagra® race car." Viagra, Pfizer Inc.'s well-known erectile dysfunction medication, is the team sponsor of NASCAR racing team of driver Mark Martin.
As for the details of the deal, both team and Kimberly-Clark sources are mum, but "You can assume something in the $20 million per year for at least 20 years, range," said Vito Affensarsch, sports financial analyst at noted Vegas bookmaker Tuckus & Rheem. "Kimberly-Clark is a big bucks outfit, even bigger than Jerry Jones. You can bet the Cowboys didn't have to strain hard to get the deal they got."
***
Rated as "the most valuable sports team in the world" by Forbes Magazine, with an estimated value of approximately $1.5 billion, the Dallas Cowboys are "America's Team". Since their first season in 1960, the Cowboys have become the winningest team in modern NFL history, boasting five Super Bowl championships [1971 (VI), 1977 (XII), 1992 (XXVII), 1993 (XXVIII), 1995 (XXX)], ten Conference Championships, 19 Division Championships, and 29 playoff appearances. The Cowboys are also one of the wealthiest teams in the NFL, generating almost $250 million in annual revenue.
Kimberly-Clark Corporation (NYSE: KMB, BMV: Kimber) is an American corporation that produces mostly paper-based consumer products. Kimberly-Clark brand name products include "Kleenex" facial tissue, "Kotex" feminine hygiene products, "Cottonelle" toilet paper, Wypall utility wipes, "KimWipes" scientific cleaning wipes, and "Huggies" disposable diapers. Based in Irving, Texas, it has approximately 55,000 employees.
Link: Dallas Cowboys website [ http://www.dallascowboys.com/ ]
Link: Kimberly-Clark's official website [ http://www.kimberly-clark.com ]
Link: New Stadium Website [http://stadium.dallascowboys.com/]
Besides, we can always use the rain!
I can’t wait for “Depend Souvenir Diaper Night”.
Considering how bad the Rangers are, renaming their field to Depend Diaper Field would be fitting. :P
“I cant wait for Depend Souvenir Diaper Night.”
Are they used? Because I hear that there is a big market for used undies online.
They need to call it “Febreze Field”, the way the Rangers stink up the joint.
Gross...
I don’t think the Depends people would want to be associated with the Rangers. They have an image to protect.
Touché.
If only Barry Zito’s opening day outing was an April Fool’s Day joke played one day early.
Ya got that right. I've bit on a couple already and it's not even 4AM.
Will the players will get a lifetime supply of adult diapers?
Depends!
In an unrelated show of stupidity, the government has just mandated that all words between gullet and gully must be stricken from all Standard English dictionaries published in the United States. To see the extent of the damage this will do to the English language, please look at all the words that will be lost forever from common grammatical and conversational usage. Get a dictionary and see how many words between gullet and gully will be lost forever. If you are as outraged as I am by this assault on our linguistic heritage, contract your elected officials immediately.
Hmm. No, sir ... I don't like it.
Nice April Fool’s Joke!
Once is enough. I ain’t stupid, I just know Jerry Jones would not turn down any name for enough money.
E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!!
ff
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