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Party Girl: Chelsea Clinton Cuts Loose With 2,000 Gay Men in Red Dresses
Willamette Week Newspaper & WWEEK.COM ^ | 4-13-08

Posted on 04/14/2008 5:29:52 PM PDT by kingattax

I was supposed to ask her questions like "where are you most likely to disagree with your mom or your dad?" or "did you ever call your mom at 3 am and how did she react?"

But all I could think of was that: "I am...standing in front of Hill and Bill's kid...in a red Mary Kay Cosmetics Collection dress...I'd just bought that day at the Goodwill...how weird is that?"

Yes, Chelsea Clinton made it to the infamous "Red Dress" Party.

Not to be confused with that other annual "Red Dress" fundraiser, this is the "Red Dress Party," a mondo-alcohol-fueled dance party where nearly 2,000 gay men in various states of red dress undress (and several nearly naked straight men as well as one very colorfully decorated naked woman) invade a warehouse in Northeast Portland and dance their collective asses off to pounding disco music and the incredible Storm Large and her Balls (they were beyond fabulous). Large, a bigtime Obama supporter even dedicated one of her more infamous songs, Ladylike, to Chelsea's mama.

According to my sources Ms. Clinton moved heaven and earth (well, she just trimmed some of her other meetings in Oregon Saturday that included stops in Eugene and Portland State University) so that she could make the par-ty.

At 9:30 pm, just as we were walking in, I noticed one of the Governor's more attractive staffers (Hans Bernard) heading toward the door with a very attractive blonde.

"Oh my god, it's Chelsea," I screamed.

Before I knew it Hans had my partner, Juan Martinez, and me next to her for a quick photo.

And then we had a conversation. It was quick. I don't recall much of it. And I hadn't even had a drink yet.

Suffice to say I think I said something about how much crap I've received for writing something about how her mom should be the next President.

She was very sweet and talked about how much she liked Oregon and how it had been a really long day.

After pleasantries I suggested that we join her at whatever her next party was.

She said, "oh, I'm sorry, I have to run. I'm on a red-eye to Philadelphia."

And then, poof, like Cinderella she was gone.

I heard one of the reasons she left early was she really wanted to ride the MAX train. She had heard so much about our mass transit system and she wanted to check it out for herself. I can't imagine that is what the way she got back to the airport for her flight out of town, but that's what my sources say.

Oh, that Chelsea.

Byron Beck, Chelsea Clinton and Juan Martinez at Red Dress Party, Portland Oregon.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; US: Oregon
KEYWORDS: chelsea; democratculture; hillary; homosexual; homosexualagenda; mentalillness; or2008; perverts; reddress
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To: kingattax

21 posted on 04/14/2008 5:47:32 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: Slings and Arrows; callisto; Darksheare

“I really don’t know what to make of this” Ping!


22 posted on 04/14/2008 5:47:34 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: dead

LOL


23 posted on 04/14/2008 5:48:12 PM PDT by kingattax (99 % of liberals give the rest a bad name)
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To: kingattax
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

24 posted on 04/14/2008 5:48:46 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist ©®)
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To: dead

Great! Wish I had thought of that!


25 posted on 04/14/2008 5:48:58 PM PDT by BatGuano
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To: BatGuano

No wonder my ex moved there.


26 posted on 04/14/2008 5:49:04 PM PDT by Salamander (And don't forget my Dog; fixed and consequent......)
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To: kingattax
"Oh my god, it's Chelsea," I screamed.

I had to stop after reading this and realizing that it was written by a man (well, a male, anyway).

Somehow an image of "Ross the gay intern" from the Jay Leno show sticks in my mind.

27 posted on 04/14/2008 5:49:12 PM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: kingattax

“But all I could think of was that: “I am...standing in front of Hill and Bill’s kid...in a red Mary Kay Cosmetics Collection dress...I’d just bought that day at the Goodwill...how weird is that?”

Not as weird as the fact that if it had been Daddy standing there instead of Chelseahag...and the light had been bouncing off of the discoball just right...you could of had your red dress stained just like Monica’s blue one.


28 posted on 04/14/2008 5:50:57 PM PDT by Into the Vortex
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To: TheWasteLand

LOL!


29 posted on 04/14/2008 5:51:40 PM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life)
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To: sionnsar
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

30 posted on 04/14/2008 5:53:33 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist ©®)
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To: chainsaw

She actually looks exactly like her grandma - Bill’s mother.


31 posted on 04/14/2008 5:56:32 PM PDT by Kirkwood (Ask me again tomorrow.)
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To: Chode

That’s pretty close, but the one on the left has two things going for her that the Hubbelspawn lacks!


32 posted on 04/14/2008 5:58:24 PM PDT by Into the Vortex
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To: kingattax

This begs the question, ‘exactly how loose can a girl cut with 2000 gay men?’


33 posted on 04/14/2008 5:59:08 PM PDT by meyer (Still conservative, no longer Republican)
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To: Salamander
No wonder my ex moved there.

Too much information. I don't want to know any more.

34 posted on 04/14/2008 5:59:14 PM PDT by johniegrad
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To: kingattax

35 posted on 04/14/2008 6:05:49 PM PDT by Kirkwood (Ask me again tomorrow.)
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To: kingattax

Well it HAD to be a “red” dress party.

It certainly couldn’t have been a “blue dress” party...


36 posted on 04/14/2008 6:07:58 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: blackdog

Maybe the quote about the Clintons ‘pimping out Chelsea’ for votes is
accurate after all?


37 posted on 04/14/2008 6:08:18 PM PDT by tflabo (Truth or tyranny)
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To: tflabo

And so is doing the “spade work”


38 posted on 04/14/2008 6:09:50 PM PDT by blackdog
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To: kingattax

39 posted on 04/14/2008 6:11:44 PM PDT by dubie
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To: dubie

That’s the pre eating disorder Chelsea. Look at her now. She’s on the Karen Carpenter express.


40 posted on 04/14/2008 6:14:33 PM PDT by blackdog
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