Posted on 08/04/2008 6:00:07 AM PDT by FreeManDC
Hey girls, want to get skanky? Well, sashay down to your local abuse shelter and get buzzed! No, you don't have to be a real victim of domestic violence. All you need is a convincing story.
Last year Hollie Cephas of Monticello, Ark. arrived on the doorstep of the Options shelter to recount her tale of woe: Her husband had beaten her to the point of having two miscarriages, he hid her insulin, and once he even called her a "fat pig."
The intake worker at Options had been taught to "always believe the victim," so of course she was beside herself. One employee was so moved that she loaned Mrs. Cephas $25,000 and let her use her credit card. That covered liquor purchases, a few shopping sprees at the local WalMart, burial expenses for her child, and more.
Then with a dramatic flourish, Cephas phoned the shelter to let them know she'd just had a kidney transplant and the life support was about to be turned off. She died a few days later.
It was all a hoax.
On February 11 police went to her home, where she was still very much alive, calmly residing with her allegedly battering husband. Cephas was hauled down to the Drew County Detention Center, where she was charged with theft by deception and a $250,000 bond placed on her head.
Here's the moral of the story: If you're going to accuse your husband of trying to knock you off, don't use a borrowed credit card after your own funeral.
Girls, there so many ways your interlude at the shelter can be relaxing, profitable, and fun.
First of all, realize you're entitled to three nutritious meals a day, personal toiletries, and so forth. Transportation services may also be available, "but the only excursions offered were to the local mall where a wealth of unaffordable merchandise stared them in the face," explains Nancy S., who spent two years shuttling among shelters in the San Francisco area.
Don't let your kids stop you from having the fun you deserve — all shelters offer free day care, sometimes courtesy of a local teenager who's working off her parole time. She'll have some interesting stories to regale the youngsters!
And don't worry if your kids are still black and blue from their latest visit to the wood shed — shelters won't turn you in for child abuse, at least if you're staying at Another Way in Lake City, Fla. As one former employee told me, "We always knew not to call the law unless you were prepared to be unemployed."
And if you want to toke a little weed, that's fine, too. After all, you've been battered and belittled, you deserve a little break.
If you're in the Houston area, be sure to go by the Bay Area Turning Point. That facility hosts dating parties where local men drop by to schmooze and relax. That's according to Bobbi Bacha, vice president of Blue Moon Investigations, who wonders whether such events are appropriate for abused women at such a vulnerable point in their lives.
And don't fret about that nine o'clock curfew. If you want to go behind the bushes with your new heart-throb or hang out with your old boyfriend — the one you said is your lifelong abuser — no problem, they'll reset the security alarm for you.
If lavender is your color of choice, you don't even need to venture outside. Everyone knows shelter staffs are replete with dykes cruising for a hook-up.
Got a man-problem? Shelters can solve that, as well.
At Bethany House in Falls Church, Va., "Women with almost no marital problems are declared abused and are coached by the staff to go to court and get a protective order against their husbands with the promise of long-term shelter, legal services, [and] counseling," reveals a former shelter volunteer.
And don't worry that your naughty antics might land you in the clink. The good ladies from the abuse shelter will bail you out. After all, you've obviously been suffering from Battered Woman's Syndrome.
Believe it or not, the best is yet to come!
Once you check out of the shelter, you now have the gold-plated Keys to the Kingdom. That's because you can now lay claim to life-long status as a victim, a battered woman. You're a certified survivor.
Want to skirt the return-to-work requirements under TANF? No hassle. Need to re-up your Section 8 housing? You're covered. Are you an illegal immigrant? Bienvenidos, amiga!
There's just one little hitch. Legions of other women have figured out how to work the system, so many shelters now have a long waiting list.
The solution, of course, is to come up with a better story.
Would it be rude of me to ask how you came to this realization? Did the women tell you that they were gaming the system? Did you follow them or have an investigator do so? Was it just a feeling you got?
“One employee was so moved that she loaned Mrs. Cephas $25,000 and let her use her credit card.”
the credit card I can believe, but a personal loan of $25K? That’s crazy!
“Next we’ll be charging panhandlers for spending money MEANT for food on dope and alcohol instead.”
Then you’ll like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJeNok-lTEw
That may be true, but it's pretty unlikely that a man abuses a woman on their first date. Oftentimes, physical abuse doesn't start until years after the couple gets married.
Exactly. There are abusers any time someone tries to provide help to another. The Red Cross experiences it. The Salvation Army experiences. None are immune.
Which is where the saying, “Adversity REVEALS character”, comes from.
Did you follow them or have an investigator do so? Was it just a feeling you got?
In your own words.
No, but when they keep going back to these pieces of sh!t they have nobody but themselves to blame.
Leading the fight against men, with our tax dollars.
In a galaxy far, far away...there used to be this thing called "dating," or "courtship." This was a period of time, usually up to a year or two--or even longer. During this time, the couple lived in different houses, and they would meet frequently for a "date." Some of these dates were more formal, where the man would take the woman to dinner, a concert, or a movie. Other dates were less formal--maybe the couple went for a walk in the park, played a sport together, or they went to each others' family functions such as birthday parties. All of these dates were designed to reveal the character and true nature of this man and woman. If their characters were good and decent, and if they became emotionally "in love," the relationship could end up in an "engagement," which would then usually lead to a marriage.
Presumably, if the man did not physically abuse the woman during their courtship, there was probably a pretty good chance he wouldn't after they became married. But how often does the above scenario play out with these sheltered women?
I lead a church group to the local rescue mission where we give our testimonies and a message and then help serve dinner. Two people always stay behind after the message in case anyone has questions or has accepted Christ during the message. One night two women came up afterwards and appeared totally sincere in their questions and then appeared to confess their sins and accept Jesus.
Later, when we told the mission manager about it, he informed us that they had claimed to accept salvation several times before and that they had probably stayed behind in the chapel this time so that the manager wouldn't throw them out for turning tricks behind the mission that afternoon. I really hope they were sincere this time, but it opened my eyes to what some are willing to do for a free meal.
It became very obvious because so many of these women were very blatant about it--they'd come in with one story, couldn't remember what they had said at intake, so they'd have another story when they were asked by case workers later.
We would see some of our "guests" downtown, when they were supposedly going for a job interview. They would be with their "abuser", having a bite in a restaurant.
I could give examples all day long--and tell you some stories that would curl your hair.
In all the time that I volunteered there, I saw one woman who showed signed of physical abuse--and she shouldn't have been there---in fact, I called an ambulance and had her sent to the hospital. (I'm an RN). She, btw, went right back to her abuser when she was discharged, which is part of the cycle of abuse in bonafide cases of spousal abuse.
This was in a town with a population of around 40,000 in OK in the '80's.
You got your facts wrong bub. According to the AMA, the single largest precipitator of abuse is the birth of the first child. You don’t see that while dating.
Oh, I get it. Your point is to blame the victim of the crime, rather than the criminal. Did it ever occur to you that a fellow can be perfectly charming... in some cases for years... before ever becoming physically violent? Apparently you live in an alternate universe where this isn't the case, where some men don't behave better when they're trying to win a woman over than when they feel they've already got her.
And why would that be?
Maybe it's because the women you served fell in love with their husbands and boyfriends, in most cases had children with them, and find it exceptionally difficult to walk away... even with abuse.
I see folks vehemently protesting your reference to a time-tested way of families (ie, FATHERS) protecting their daughters by vetting the guy through their own lens of experience instead of hoping that the guy that steals her heart is a good one.
The people protesting this idea are so immersed in the worldview of today’s leftist/pagan/postmodern culture that, like fish, they can’t even tell that they’re “wet”.
Basil, “stories that can curl your hair” — OK, I’ll bite — can you tell us more?
In your own words.
______
Two quotes from my earlier posts ... OK. Not living inside of your head, I’m not quite sure I get your meaning. It appears that you are playing ‘gotcha’.
If you have something to ask, fire away.
The poster did discuss a system that was not perfect but helped to avoid a lot of potential problems. A conservative knows there is no perfect system but seeks the best system.
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