Posted on 12/23/2008 12:09:15 AM PST by goldstategop
Sex isn’t just her decision or choice. It should be a decision made by the couple, it IS a decision made by the couple during the marriage vows, imo.
Sometimes, just sex, without anything else is fine. I don’t get what the big issue is.
Sometimes, I want to make love/have sex, with nothing other than just wanting it. Something, anything, about my husband will turn me on. He could be watching a game or show or eating dinner.
Or all the kids are out of the house at the same time, uncommon, and we both look at each other and race to the bedroom. We could be in the middle of doing something mundane and last kid leaves the house and we realize, we’re alone. YAY.
A sense of humor is the most wonderful of attributes, imo. It’s good to have fun, laugh. One of the things that I found so attractive in my husband when I first met him, other than him being hot and super smart, was his sense of humor. He made me laugh. And I could tease him and he’d laugh. 19 married years later, and a few dating, we still laugh most of the time.
I’m not so sure about that. I can be ready at the “drop of the hat” and all it takes is the look in his eyes. Just about everything else can wait for a half hour.
LOL!
Having sex/making love/insert other terms here, isn’t on my “to do” list because it doesn’t NEED to be on a list. My list is a list of chores, errands, etc. Things I have to do whether I want to or not. Spending intimate time, sharing love with my husband isn’t a chore or an errand. The “list” is toast when it comes to that...
I know no matter how busy my husband is, he’s always ready, and will drop it all to have some alone time. As would I.
Darn! I wish I'd thought of that.
Another time, when we were thinking about getting married, he used to whisper, "I love you" and I felt insecure. I told him, "If you loved me, you'd shout it out!" So he did. "LISTEN AMERICA! I LOVE JUDITH ANNE!" he yelled in a restaurant parking lot after dinner one evening....
He was a real keeper.
We had a lot of laughs, and a lot of love. 36 years, and boy, do I miss him...
I can understand that. My husband and I were married 37 years this month. He gives me a whole lot to laugh about/at. I've told him, many times, G-d made man, then he made woman to laugh at him.
I think that's great! Did you, by chance, have older sisters? My brother was the youngest of five, and the only boy. When his wife, who didn't work, was pregnant, he would come home after working ten hours and cook because the smell of cooking food made my sister in-law sick. Until she started working she had no idea how special she had been treated. One day she and I were talking about how my brother could do, would do and did do anything and everything around the house. I told her the credit belong to my older sister and me. We made sure, as I did with my daughter, that he would never take the work of others for granted, or treat their spouse/children as a servants, the way his father had treated our mother and us. I also wanted to make sure that my daughter would never have to stay with a man because she could not support herself.
Yes, I can imagine how that would suck the mood right out. I always wanted to stay home with my daughter, I think it's best for the children, but had to go to work when she was under six months old.
My husband couldn't understand that, after working ten hours, cooking dinner, looking after our daughters needs and preparing for the next day, I was done. There was no more. Elvis had left the building. After about thirty years of him telling me how inadequate I was at "taking care of us" I let him have it. I pointed out to him that his only job was to financially support his family and I had to help him do that. He had never been help around the house, not even with yard work. I told him if the house wasn't clean enough for him, clean it. It was the last time he every said anything about the house being dirty or not getting sex any time he wanted. Years later, I pointed out to him how willing he was to live in a dirty house when he had to clean it. He, by the way, has only worked one day a week over the last five and a half years.
Nice one. I would’ve responded earlier but I forgot...(heh)...
Twenty dollars! I guess if his wife were a crack whore, twenty would cover it. Strange how sex is so important to men until they have to pay for it.
A question I've asked men over 30+ years is, "If you were a woman what lifestyle do you see for yourself?" I've never had any of them say they'd be married to good man. They've all said they'd have anything they wanted because they would not give "it" away. They've told me that woman just don't understand how much men NEED sex. The reason so many men think woman are only after their money, is because that is how they'd be, were they female.
Yes marriages settle in and some partners become more roommates than lovers. Nevertheless it is important to maintain that sexual connection.
All that said, men need to realize that women are wired differently. Listening to our "drivel", worries and concerns only bring you closer to the ultimate goal. Do not compete with your mate. Do not make disparaging remarks.
Last but not least, for women who have gone through menopause and have seem to have lost desire. Go get hormone therapy. Get a shot of testostarone and you will soon realize why your husband is so ready to go.
an “apostle” (small a) is someone who delivers news. It is similar to “epistle” which means “letter”.
Merry Christmas.
Very perceptive analysis here. Women have to wise up. But due to divorce lawyers and a stacked legal system they cannot be forced to wise up.
Though the very bad recession may start killing divorce as a viable alternative to listening to her husband. Not that males are geniuses but we do have our own biology which is denigrated by the mass media and popular culture
I'm ready to remarry. I don't expect a perfect man, and I am not a perfect woman. I'd just like someone who has a sense of humor, is intelligent, who likes to be pampered a bit, and who is in decent shape physically, emotionally,spiritually, mentally, and financially, as am I.
See - you and your husband understand the level of intimacy, communication and mutual cooperation a successful marriage demands.
"Good sex requires a good marriage and a good marriage requires good sex".
Obviously waiting for the first 3 prime motivations to occur.....
Here's a case study.
.... still.
Merry Christmas.
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