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EPA Seeks To Have Water Vapor Classified As A Pollutant
Ecoenquirer ^

Posted on 01/05/2009 8:56:31 AM PST by big black dog

This jet condensation trail seen at sunset will gradually evaporate, increasing the water vapor content of the atmosphere. Since a wide variety of human activities produce water vapor, the Earth's main greenhouse gas, the Environmental Protection Agency is seeking to have it designated as a pollutant.

(Washington, DC) The Environmental Protection Agency is seeking to classify water vapor as a pollutant, due to its central role in global warming. Because water vapor is the dominant greenhouse gas in the atmosphere, accounting for at least 90% of the Earth's natural greenhouse effect, its emission during many human activities, such as the burning of fuels, is coming under increasing scrutiny by federal regulators.

Until now, the carbon dioxide produced during the burning of fuels has been the main concern. The extra carbon dioxide causes a manmade enhancement of the greenhouse effect. But water vapor is also produced by combustion of most fuels, as well as by industry and utilities that use water for cooling. The EPA would be able to regulate its manmade sources if it is classified as a pollutant.

EPA Director of the Department of Pollutant Decrees, Ray Donaldson, said, "Back before carbon dioxide was dangerous, we simply assumed that water vapor was also benign. But all reputable scientists now agree that the increased water vapor content of the atmosphere from such sources as burning of fuels and power plant cooling towers will also enhance the greenhouse effect, leading to potentially catastrophic warming."

If successful, the push to classify water vapor as a dangerous pollutant would impact virtually everyone. For instance, homeowners could see a wide variety of common activities that cause evaporation being regulated: watering the lawn, or using a hot tub or swimming pool.

"Right now, we are not so concerned about the water vapor exhaled by people. That is low on our list of priorities", said Mr. Donaldson. "We'll tackle that manmade source at a later time." One likely result of such regulation would be an additional tax on fuels used by cars, trucks, passenger jets, and a wide variety of industries and utilities.

Predictably, the Bush Administration has voiced opposition to any regulation of water vapor emissions. White House staffer Lew Moninsky told ecoEnquirer, "This is simply ridiculous. The EPA wants to regulate all human activity out of existence. What about the massive amounts of water vapor being evaporated from the world's oceans every second? That's OK?, but human production of small amounts of vapor isn't? If it weren't for water vapor, there would be no rainfall! Give me a break!"

"Well, of course the Administration would say that…", said Mr. Donaldson, "..they're in the pocket of 'big oil' anyway."

The EPA is rumored to have a rather extensive list of potential pollutants in addition to water vapor, and some insiders claim that all known chemical compounds are targeted for future regulation. When informed of the rumored list of chemicals, Mr. Moninsky asked, "Well, since everything is made of chemicals, I guess that means that even every molecule of your body will be subject to regulation as well, doesn't it?"

Asked for their position on the matter, Greenpolice spokesperson Rainbow Treetower stated, "Our basic policy is, if it's good for people, it's bad for the planet."


TOPICS: Government
KEYWORDS: epa; humor; satire
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To: big black dog
The really sad thing about this is, is that for a minute there I actually entertained the thought that the Enviro-fascists in Washington had finally gone completely barking mad and were actually going to do this. Its gotten to the point where you just can't put anything past them anymore. Just when you think that you've seen the full breadth and depth of their Libtard idiocy they do something even stupider.
41 posted on 01/05/2009 11:32:59 AM PST by Desron13 (If you constantly vote between the lesser of two evils then evil is your ultimate destination.)
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To: Logical me

Where is this garbage coming from?”

From 40+++ years of Liberal teachers poisoning the minds of your kids- your great-grand kids— and all of your neighbor’s kids.


42 posted on 01/05/2009 12:00:36 PM PST by ridesthemiles
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To: Desron13

They did it to CO2 in the whole manmade global warming debacle. Look at the carbon tax that obama was ready to impose on us all over something that turned out to be nothing.

With the idiocy that the government displays, along with it’s insatiable appetite for money from taxes, it’s all too plausible.


43 posted on 01/05/2009 12:02:59 PM PST by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: big black dog; CygnusXI; Entrepreneur; Defendingliberty; WL-law; Genesis defender; proud_yank; ...

 


Beam me to Planet Gore !

44 posted on 01/05/2009 1:52:47 PM PST by steelyourfaith
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To: thackney

Right. Cause it’s not millions of tons of water evaporate from every lake, pond, river and ocean on the planet.

PS

You also need to quit breathing since every breath you exhale is saturated with water vapor....


45 posted on 01/05/2009 1:56:35 PM PST by Kozak (USA 7/4/1776 to 1/20/2009 Requiescat In Pace)
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To: big black dog
If successful, the push to classify water vapor as a dangerous pollutant would impact virtually everyone. For instance, homeowners could see a wide variety of common activities that cause evaporation being regulated: watering the lawn, or using a hot tub or swimming pool.

or... farming.

46 posted on 01/05/2009 4:24:40 PM PST by TenthAmendmentChampion (Be prepared for tough times. FReepmail me to learn about our new survival thread!)
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To: big black dog

OK you got me, bbd.

Note to self, read the keywords or the source article first...


47 posted on 01/05/2009 4:26:15 PM PST by TenthAmendmentChampion (Be prepared for tough times. FReepmail me to learn about our new survival thread!)
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To: thackney; steelyourfaith

They've outdone themselves this time. I honestly didn't think they (globull warming nuts) could get any crazier, but they've done it many times over!

48 posted on 01/05/2009 9:53:29 PM PST by rdl6989
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To: metmom; Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Problem is, I could see them reading that piece and thinking it was a great idea.

It’s a sad state of affairs when it gets to that point.....


We're practically already there...

Banning DiHydrogen Monoxide - Penn and Teller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yi3erdgVVTw
49 posted on 01/06/2009 6:47:45 AM PST by bamahead (Few men desire liberty; most men wish only for a just master. -- Sallust)
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