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Man who wore Whizzinator sent to state prison
http://www.mcall.com/news/breaking/mc-northampton-prosthetic-penis-whizz20101220,0,3635656.story ^

Posted on 12/20/2010 1:04:55 PM PST by Red in Blue PA

Court-ordered to undergo drug tests, a Monroe County man was caught wearing a fake penis and bladder used to cheat screens.

But Raymond Hartley Jr. had a good excuse for strapping on the Whizzinator, he told a Northampton County judge last week: The probation officers kept making fun of the size of his real penis.

"It's very emasculating to hear comments like that," argued defense attorney Anthony Rybak.

(Excerpt) Read more at mcall.com ...


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; News/Current Events; US: Pennsylvania
KEYWORDS: napl; pennsylvania; sourcetitlenoturl; weird; whizzinator
For God's sake, no pictures!
1 posted on 12/20/2010 1:04:57 PM PST by Red in Blue PA
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To: Red in Blue PA

I imagine the testimony of the parole officer bordered on the homoerotic.

“When I saw the suspect take out his penis I thought something was wrong, it didn’t look right, too hard and plastic - so I stared intently at it; it was especially apparent that it was fake as I saw the flow from it was not typical of what you usually see. When I reached over to touch it....”


2 posted on 12/20/2010 1:08:37 PM PST by allmendream (Tea Party did not send the GOP to D.C. to negotiate the terms of our surrender to socialism.)
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To: Red in Blue PA
The probation officers kept making fun of the size of his real penis.

The dude is obviously a blogger.

3 posted on 12/20/2010 1:12:19 PM PST by humblegunner (Blogger Overlord)
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To: Red in Blue PA

A fake penis and bladder...I believe Barney Frank would call that a proving ground.


4 posted on 12/20/2010 1:12:41 PM PST by reagan_fanatic (Save the whales. Collect the whole set.)
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To: allmendream
I imagine the testimony of the parole officer bordered on the homoerotic.

"I work at a small, mid-western courthouse and I never thought this would happen to me...."

5 posted on 12/20/2010 1:13:39 PM PST by r9etb
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To: Red in Blue PA
"You can just call me Dick Whizzer there sonny boy..."


6 posted on 12/20/2010 1:14:54 PM PST by montyspython
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To: r9etb

LOL!!!

Xactly!!!


7 posted on 12/20/2010 1:15:14 PM PST by allmendream (Tea Party did not send the GOP to D.C. to negotiate the terms of our surrender to socialism.)
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To: Red in Blue PA

Dinky Dick Club ping.


8 posted on 12/20/2010 1:15:28 PM PST by Battle Axe (Repent, for the coming of the Lord is neigh.)
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To: montyspython

LOL!

Holy crap is that funny!


9 posted on 12/20/2010 1:16:26 PM PST by Red in Blue PA (Planning on using 911? Google "Brittany Zimmerman")
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To: Red in Blue PA; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ..
Bet he's p*ssed off...


10 posted on 12/20/2010 1:17:12 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows; martin_fierro

ping


11 posted on 12/20/2010 1:18:00 PM PST by EveningStar (Karl Marx is not one of our Founding Fathers.)
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To: Red in Blue PA

Well, the newspaper this story was carried in is certainly appropriate: “The Morning Call”.


12 posted on 12/20/2010 1:18:12 PM PST by miele man
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To: Red in Blue PA

I wonder what his explanation was going to be for his new and improved size.


13 posted on 12/20/2010 1:18:31 PM PST by posterchild (Endowed by my Creator with certain unalienable rights.)
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To: posterchild

There was a pro football player who got caught with a Whizzinator.

Seems he forgot to specify ethnicity when he bought it.


14 posted on 12/20/2010 1:20:40 PM PST by elcid1970 ("Buy Sabra brand Hummus, made in Israel!")
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To: Red in Blue PA

DU screen name....tootiny.


15 posted on 12/20/2010 1:21:49 PM PST by JPG (A new sheriff is on her way and she's ready to cleanup Dodge.)
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To: Slings and Arrows; Revolting cat!; JoeProBono
Court-ordered to undergo drug tests, a Monroe County man was caught wearing a fake penis and bladder used to cheat screens.

"Honestly! It's NOT mine..."

16 posted on 12/20/2010 1:26:02 PM PST by a fool in paradise (The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
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To: Red in Blue PA
For God's sake, no pictures!

Too late, Ethyl. Don't look!


17 posted on 12/20/2010 1:26:53 PM PST by a fool in paradise (The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
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To: a fool in paradise

18 posted on 12/20/2010 1:28:01 PM PST by Red in Blue PA (Planning on using 911? Google "Brittany Zimmerman")
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To: a fool in paradise

But her Whizzinator is real.


19 posted on 12/20/2010 1:28:40 PM PST by montyspython
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To: Red in Blue PA

One of Clinton’s conquests stated on national radio that he was “hung like a hampster.”


20 posted on 12/20/2010 1:30:03 PM PST by umgud
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To: Red in Blue PA; Slings and Arrows

"Gadzooks, you have a small penis!"

21 posted on 12/20/2010 1:31:46 PM PST by paulycy (Demand Constitutionality. Save America From Bankruptcy.)
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To: elcid1970

Vikings: Onterrio Smith Caught with “The Original Whizzinator”.

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/7816844/

you’d think he could afford the Deluxe model


22 posted on 12/20/2010 1:34:04 PM PST by WOBBLY BOB ( "I don't want the majority if we don't stand for something"- Jim Demint)
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To: Red in Blue PA

He just pissed away his last chance!


23 posted on 12/20/2010 1:51:49 PM PST by Weird Tolkienish Figure
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To: paulycy

Ah, the British gift for understatement.


24 posted on 12/20/2010 2:01:26 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Um. Bump?


25 posted on 12/20/2010 2:10:17 PM PST by TheOldLady ("I WILL PLANT. I WILL HARVEST. I WILL RESIST WITH FORCE...ANY ATTEMPT TO STOP ME." - Lazamataz)
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To: umgud

When my dad heard that about “the bent one” he laughed and said “He probably started out with 8 and just WORE IT DOWN TO A NUB!”


26 posted on 12/20/2010 2:10:33 PM PST by allmendream (Tea Party did not send the GOP to D.C. to negotiate the terms of our surrender to socialism.)
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To: Red in Blue PA

Yep, they dont give you much privacy to pee in a cup anymore.


27 posted on 12/20/2010 2:35:42 PM PST by ▀udda▀udd (7 days - 7 ways Guero >>> with a floating, shifting, ever changing persona.....)
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To: WOBBLY BOB

Heh, heh, I liked the rumor where O. Smith was said to have whipped it out for a drug test, only `it’ was `them’ and one was black and the other was white. The observer was unavailable for comment.

Oh, well, just the facts.

BTW, isn’t it illegal in most states to sell urine except to testing labs?


28 posted on 12/20/2010 2:42:43 PM PST by elcid1970 ("Buy Sabra brand Hummus, made in Israel!")
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To: Red in Blue PA

Yeah ... well you should hear what he tells the TSA!

TT


29 posted on 12/20/2010 2:48:14 PM PST by TexasTransplant (I don't mind liberals... I hate liars...there just tends to be a high degree of overlap)
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To: Red in Blue PA
Twenty nine replies and nobody's posted this yet?


30 posted on 12/20/2010 4:11:08 PM PST by Huntress (Who the hell are you to tell me what's in my best interests?)
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To: Red in Blue PA
Man who wore Whizzinator sent to state prison

"Don't Whizzinate on the Electric Fence..."

31 posted on 12/20/2010 4:31:55 PM PST by mikrofon (Penile Institution)
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To: Red in Blue PA
So, let's recap:

Cheat on a piss test...get sent to state penitentiary

Cheat/steal/lie while a member of Congress... censure

Receive BJs while foreign dignitaries await... impeachment, but get to keep your job AND a big pension

Okay, got it.

32 posted on 12/20/2010 4:37:10 PM PST by hattend (The meaning of the 2010 election was rebuke, reject, and repeal. - Sarah Palin)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I just spent 2 minutes cleaning my screen off. I really have to stop drinking while reading these posts.


33 posted on 12/20/2010 11:41:09 PM PST by rmlew (You want change? Vote for the most conservative electable in your state or district.)
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To: rmlew

I’m flattered.


34 posted on 12/21/2010 12:20:53 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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