Man who wore Whizzinator sent to state prison

http://www.mcall.com/news/breaking/mc-northampton-prosthetic-penis-whizz20101220,0,3635656.story ^

[Red in Blue PA]

Court-ordered to undergo drug tests, a Monroe County man was caught wearing a fake penis and bladder used to cheat screens.

But Raymond Hartley Jr. had a good excuse for strapping on the Whizzinator, he told a Northampton County judge last week: The probation officers kept making fun of the size of his real penis.

"It's very emasculating to hear comments like that," argued defense attorney Anthony Rybak.

[Red in Blue PA]

For God's sake, no pictures!

[allmendream]

I imagine the testimony of the parole officer bordered on the homoerotic.

“When I saw the suspect take out his penis I thought something was wrong, it didn’t look right, too hard and plastic - so I stared intently at it; it was especially apparent that it was fake as I saw the flow from it was not typical of what you usually see. When I reached over to touch it....”

[humblegunner]

The probation officers kept making fun of the size of his real penis.

The dude is obviously a blogger.

[reagan_fanatic]

A fake penis and bladder...I believe Barney Frank would call that a proving ground.

[r9etb]

I imagine the testimony of the parole officer bordered on the homoerotic.

"I work at a small, mid-western courthouse and I never thought this would happen to me...."

[montyspython]

"You can just call me Dick Whizzer there sonny boy..."

[allmendream]

LOL!!!

Xactly!!!

[Battle Axe]

Dinky Dick Club ping.

[Red in Blue PA]

LOL!

Holy crap is that funny!

[Slings and Arrows]

Bet he's p*ssed off...

[EveningStar]

ping

[miele man]

Well, the newspaper this story was carried in is certainly appropriate: “The Morning Call”.

[posterchild]

I wonder what his explanation was going to be for his new and improved size.

[elcid1970]

There was a pro football player who got caught with a Whizzinator.

Seems he forgot to specify ethnicity when he bought it.

[JPG]

DU screen name....tootiny.

[a fool in paradise]

Court-ordered to undergo drug tests, a Monroe County man was caught wearing a fake penis and bladder used to cheat screens.

"Honestly! It's NOT mine..."

[a fool in paradise]

For God's sake, no pictures!

Too late, Ethyl. Don't look!

[Red in Blue PA]

[montyspython]

But her Whizzinator is real.

[umgud]

One of Clinton’s conquests stated on national radio that he was “hung like a hampster.”

[paulycy]

"Gadzooks, you have a small penis!"

[WOBBLY BOB]

Vikings: Onterrio Smith Caught with “The Original Whizzinator”.

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/7816844/

you’d think he could afford the Deluxe model

[Weird Tolkienish Figure]

He just pissed away his last chance!

[Slings and Arrows]

Ah, the British gift for understatement.

[TheOldLady]

Um. Bump?

[allmendream]

When my dad heard that about “the bent one” he laughed and said “He probably started out with 8 and just WORE IT DOWN TO A NUB!”

[ßuddaßudd]

Yep, they dont give you much privacy to pee in a cup anymore.

[elcid1970]

Heh, heh, I liked the rumor where O. Smith was said to have whipped it out for a drug test, only `it’ was `them’ and one was black and the other was white. The observer was unavailable for comment.

Oh, well, just the facts.

BTW, isn’t it illegal in most states to sell urine except to testing labs?

[TexasTransplant]

Yeah ... well you should hear what he tells the TSA!

TT

[Huntress]

Twenty nine replies and nobody's posted this yet?

[mikrofon]

Man who wore Whizzinator sent to state prison

"Don't Whizzinate on the Electric Fence..."

[hattend]

So, let's recap:

Cheat on a piss test...get sent to state penitentiary

Cheat/steal/lie while a member of Congress... censure

Receive BJs while foreign dignitaries await... impeachment, but get to keep your job AND a big pension

Okay, got it.

[rmlew]

I just spent 2 minutes cleaning my screen off. I really have to stop drinking while reading these posts.

[Slings and Arrows]

I’m flattered.