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Should Black People Walk Away from Valentine's Day Spending?
BV On Money ^ | 2/14/11 | Boyce Watkins

Posted on 02/14/2011 10:20:47 AM PST by Libloather

Should Black People Walk Away from Valentine's Day Spending?
By Boyce Watkins, PhD on Feb 14th 2011 10:56AM

Most men know how expensive Valentine's Day can get. Someone decided that spending money is somehow a translation to showing love, which is an interesting, misguided relationship philosophy. Valentine's Day is one of the most over-hyped holidays known to man, with advertising starting almost right after Christmas. Any man in a serious relationship is well-aware of the pending doom of his social life if he doesn't flex his wallet at least a little bit on that special day.

According to the National Federation's 2010 Valentine's Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, over $14 billion is spent on Valentine's Day-related purchases. This is roughly $103 for every single man, woman and child in America. Yes, the hype has real economic consequences.

What's even crazier is that 2010 doesn't even set a record. In 2008, $17 billion was spent on the holiday. (Perhaps all those 'Oprah Winfrey' shows about saving money kicked in and people started to show their love in ways that went beyond spending money.) These numbers make me wonder why I have to prove my love for others by busting my bank account on a holiday created by someone else.

The challenge of Valentine's Day can be especially daunting for African American men, who struggle with unemployment rates approaching 20 percent. Black family wealth is, according to recent estimates, as low as one-fiftieth that of white families, and millions of African Americans are facing bankruptcy, foreclosure and other forms of economic devastation. The struggle to find economic resources makes it difficult for men to become providers, and adds to the stress of black families that are already struggling to stay together. It also makes it difficult for single men to date or show affection to the woman in whom they may be interested, primarily because economic stability is highly correlated with the perception of an individual's manhood. Valentine's Day can only make the embarrassment that much worse for men who are trying to survive in an economy where they have the worst unemployment and educational levels in the nation.

My belief? African Americans may want to consider letting go of Valentine's Day, at least the over-commercialized part of it. For women, I suggest that you make a deal with your man: tell him that you don't want him to spend very much money on you -- but what he doesn't spend in money, he must overcompensate for with time and affection. Your man will appreciate you letting him off the hook and he will hopefully return the favor by giving you a level of loyalty he wouldn't be willing to give to anyone else. Being a true partner in love means helping your partner become stronger, not becoming yet another drain on their resources. By getting away from models of romantic interaction that become nothing more than economic exchanges, millions of members of the black community can find everlasting love.


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Editorial; Government; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: black; blacks; bloggers; people; race; racecard; spending; valentine
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To: EDINVA
He really wrote that?

And he has a PhD. I'm assuming he ain't one of the folks he's chatting about.

Could he possibly educate others on how to get a PhD? Your guess is as good as mine.

81 posted on 02/14/2011 1:29:09 PM PST by Libloather (The epitome of civility.)
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To: Libloather

In the same spirit, should I refuse to honor MLK day on the grounds that affirmative action financially rewards persons based on their skin color (instead of their “character”)?


82 posted on 02/14/2011 1:30:28 PM PST by research99
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To: rdb3
She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed would kill me if I did.

Who owns the real weapons in this relationship?

83 posted on 02/14/2011 1:31:58 PM PST by Libloather (The epitome of civility.)
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To: All

If you have a cell phone, you are not poor.
If you can afford tattoos, you are not poor.
If your shoes cost more than $50, you are not poor.
Having said that, Valentines Day is a bit of a scam....


84 posted on 02/14/2011 1:34:29 PM PST by Maverick68
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To: research99
"The challenge of Valentine's Day can be especially daunting for Caucasian American men, who (because of biased hiring practices, such as affirmative action) struggle with (real "U6") unemployment rates approaching 20 percent."

Better?

85 posted on 02/14/2011 1:39:53 PM PST by research99
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To: Libloather

There is a biological reason for St. Valentine’s Day.

The biological prerogative of most male animals including men is to spread their DNA to as many offspring as they can. But most female humans have a double prerogative of wanting to get the best male DNA for their offspring as they can, *and* to get the best provider male to help them raise their offspring. More advanced biology.

Ironically, the system works best in a system of monogamy, giving the best opportunities to the children. This is why socially enforced marriage has a biological purpose.

It gives men more assurance that his offspring will be his, and the woman protection that the man will help her raise their children. Thus it works better, gives better results, than just basic reproduction.

However, it thus makes sense for females to want reassurances from their mate that he is still loyal to her. This is why women are far more interested that important dates and events are remembered by her mate then men are. Her birthday, their wedding anniversary, their children’s birthdays, and St. Valentine’s Day are all opportunities for him to reassure her that he remains loyal to her and their children.


86 posted on 02/14/2011 2:07:42 PM PST by yefragetuwrabrumuy
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To: Libloather

to the folk; save your money for kwanzaa gifts, show her that you really really care


87 posted on 02/14/2011 2:21:01 PM PST by silverleaf (All that is necessary for evil to succeed, is that good men do nothing)
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To: HIDEK6; scripter
Sweetheart, you're not part of the solution.

well, i really was not trying to be... however, the issue is people spending money they don't have on Valentine's Day gifts... if a man has enough money to buy his wife a card, i say let him! if it's in the budget to bake a cake, i say bake the cake! if there is no money for these things, then one should not feel inclined to do them anyway... and if one does not care to celebrate this commercial holiday, then (hoping the significant other agrees) i say feel free to disregard! btw--my husband makes me one cup of coffee every morning without fail... i like to say it's his daily Valentine to me! i love Valentine's Day!

88 posted on 02/14/2011 2:49:08 PM PST by latina4dubya ( self-proclaimed tequila snob)
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To: Libloather

Why is it PC to celebrate “St. Valentine’s” -— Christian Martyr — But Christmas is a no no? I don’t get it.


89 posted on 02/14/2011 3:09:39 PM PST by HotKat
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To: yefragetuwrabrumuy
However, it thus makes sense for females to want reassurances from their mate that he is still loyal to her.

The hood you live is named what - again?

90 posted on 02/14/2011 3:20:09 PM PST by Libloather (The epitome of civility.)
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To: latina4dubya
btw--my husband makes me one cup of coffee every morning without fail... i like to say it's his daily Valentine to me!

I'll need your sister's number. Private mail will do.

91 posted on 02/14/2011 3:23:09 PM PST by Libloather (The epitome of civility.)
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To: Freddd
I see reparations every week when I go shopping, I am the only guy in line who pays with cash. All the brothers and sisters are using their state issued debit cards.I get hamburger they get steak! What a country! Everything free in America if you have the right complexion.
92 posted on 02/14/2011 3:43:38 PM PST by ABN 505
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To: Libloather

You piqued my curiosity, so I goodle/wiki’d him .. went through four (4) universities to get that Ph.D. (IN/KY/Syr/OSU). His whole life seems dedicated to race, being a victim, and assuring other blacks they are victims. That has to be a horrible way to live, but it’s making him a living.


93 posted on 02/14/2011 5:20:42 PM PST by EDINVA
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To: Libloather
Who owns the real weapons in this relationship?

Well, the two .44s and the 12-gauge belong to me so...

If you can't appreciate the pure beauty of the violin after hearing this, something's wrong with your ears.

94 posted on 02/14/2011 5:56:29 PM PST by rdb3 (The mouth is the exhaust pipe of the heart.)
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To: Hoffer Rand

Well, chocolate is good for relationships!, even if its just a Hershey bar.


95 posted on 02/14/2011 6:00:18 PM PST by RobbyS (Pray with the suffering souls.)
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To: rdb3
Well, the two .44s and the 12-gauge belong to me so...

In other words, she OWNS you. (Go ahead, you can say it.)

96 posted on 02/14/2011 6:17:33 PM PST by Libloather (The epitome of civility.)
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To: Libloather

Yeah, there is a reason why blacks have high blood pressure. It comes from worrying about this kind of drivel. Buy her a card, show up straight and treat her like a woman. Cost you two-fifty for the card. She’ll probably faint but when she comes to she’ll appreciate it.


97 posted on 02/14/2011 6:35:44 PM PST by hinckley buzzard
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To: Libloather
Yeah, there is a reason why blacks have high blood pressure. It comes from worrying about this kind of drivel. Buy her a card, show up straight and treat her like a woman. Cost you two-fifty for the card. She'll probably faint but when she comes to she will appreciate it.
98 posted on 02/14/2011 6:36:59 PM PST by hinckley buzzard
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To: pnh102
This is one of those great disillusionments that hits most men at some point along the way. Women often have so little character despite their many charms.
99 posted on 02/14/2011 6:40:10 PM PST by hinckley buzzard
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To: swain_forkbeard
You think behavior has "roots" eh? interesting.
100 posted on 02/14/2011 6:42:44 PM PST by hinckley buzzard
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