CDC Warns Public to Prepare for 'Zombie Apocalypse'

FoxNews ^ | 5/18/11 | Joshua Rhett Miller

[Kartographer]

Are you prepared for the impending zombie invasion?

That's the question posed by the Centers for Diseases Control and Prevention in a Monday blog posting gruesomely titled, "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse." And while it's no joke, CDC officials say it's all about emergency preparation.

"There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for," the posting reads. "Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That's right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you'll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency."

[WKUHilltopper]

Apparently the CDC is run by zombies...how juvenile of them.

[DannyTN]

"I am hoping for traditional zombies and not the newer “rage” zombies."

If we have to do this, couldn't it be vampires? The sexy kind with ultra good looks and low cut nightgowns, that leave you in ecstasy even as they bite you. Not the uglier than zombie kind, that's just an excuse to spray blood everywhere.

[DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis]

That’s what they want you to think.

[Kartographer]

On a serious note for those who maybe just starting to ‘prep’ might like to take a look at my Preparedness Manual which thanks to Freeper eaker is available for free download at:

http://www.tomeaker.com/kart/preparedness1i.pdf

[native texan]

USA Today says that the world is coming to an end on the 21st. This is a full page ad from some kooks out in CA. Makes me not want to go to the grocery store any time soon....don’t want to waste my time and money.

[GonzoGOP]

What would be the best gun for protection from the zombies?

Shotguns. Lethal at close range, and unless you already live in farm country close range and in the dark is likely to be where most of the fighting goes on. They can punch holes in vehicles especially with deer slugs. Buckshot can sweep stairs and hallways without having to expose yourself to take careful aim. The ammo is cheap easy to get. So if you have to bug out and can't take the entire stash in the basement along you can probably restock once you find a new bolt hole.

And gun grabbing liberals don't think of them as dangerous in the same way as a black plastic assault rifle. They won't mark you out as a "Dangerous Militia" type. You might be one, but you don't want the "Zombies" to know that.

[Kartographer]

[RC one]

actually, I’m better prepared for a zombie apocalypse than I am for a tornado. and I live in tornado country.

[MuttTheHoople]

I’m more worried bout Steel Robots.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wy_EUn5bQ0&feature=related

[RC one]

The katana will be the preferred weapon against zombies. It takes heads and limbs off nicely and it never runs out of bullets. I have 4 katanas. just to be safe.

[mountainlion]

I guess I would suggest two sidearms one on each hip to protect your arms from getting chewed off.

[Gaffer]

The only zombies that we need to be wary of are the CDC 'researchers' who call guns, wife beating, McDonalds and so on "health hazard" .

This is symptomatic of a government that wants to control your life and refuses to believe that the US Consitution actually means what it says with respect to the Second Amendment, that wife-beathing and spousal abuse is a criminal problem with a potential health related outcome, and that McDonalds and other junk food purveyors are forcing this food on the people they are really worried about - minorities.

As for actual diseases their track record with Swine Flu SUCKS! The volatile cocktail they concocted in the 70s caused more harm than any distinguishable good that has been documented. They are worthless.

[allmendream]

“actually, I’m better prepared for a zombie apocalypse than I am for a tornado. and I live in tornado country.”

Laughing my ass off over your post!!! But then I thought that “actually, I”m better prepared for a zombie apocalypse than I am for a forestfire. And I live in forest fire country.”

Some things are tougher to prep for.

[OB1kNOb]

What would be the best gun for protection from the zombies?

Banjos have been known to work in a pinch.....

[Kartographer]

What about?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bt4QiwR5ckk

[Vermont Lt]

Well thats good. Because that is where most of the urban folk think they are going to eat.

[Kartographer]

A real man can never have to many katanas!

[ansel12]

A shotgun is the wrong weapon, the ammunition is large and heavy, target aqusition is slow and labor intensive, reloading, and the wear and tear of the shooting would consume time and wear you out.

AR-15s are ideal, they are built to quickly engage multiple targets, have 40 round magazines, and are meant to reload in 3 or 4 seconds.

Remember, the object is to pop their heads, not ‘blow them away’

[Fantasywriter]

Will you survive a zombie invasion? Take the test:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2716388/posts

[Hints: hunting rifle, and do NOT trust the dog.]

[Emperor Palpatine]