Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Witches deploy 500 members to Abuja for Jonathan's inauguration (Nigeria)
234Next (Nigeria) ^ | May 28, 2011 | TAIWO OLUWADARE

Posted on 05/27/2011 11:58:13 PM PDT by Stoat

Lead Image

 

Witches deploy 500 members to Abuja for Jonathan's inauguration

 

May 28, 2011 05:06AM

 

The Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria (WITZAN), has deployed 500 witches to Abuja and other parts of Ahead of Nigeria to prevent any tragic occurrence and ensure peaceful inauguration on May 29.

According to its national co-ordinator, Dr Okhue Iboi, the decision was taken after an emergency meeting at Zuma rock, Niger State. WITZAN also warned President Goodluck Jonathan to take adequate security as bad people and disgruntled politicians are planning to cause problems.

Iboi, however, disclosed that the nation would soon have a respite from the people currently throwing bombs all over the places as they would be exposed:“We are going to expose those sponsoring bomb blasts in the country after May 29. They have been caged already. We are going to use our power to cause them to come out and confess their misdeeds. Nigerians would be surprised at how the saboteurs would be exposed.”

He said it was revealed to the witches as far back as last year that no other candidate except Jonathan would rule the nation. The association which also predicted the failure of both former military president Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida and vice president Atiku Abubakar in their presidential quests also disclosed that Jonathan would serve his four-year tenure at the end of which Nigerians would be begging him to go for another term because he has been chosen by God to lead the nation.

Iboi, however, warned Jonathan to beware of sycophants, while warning the incoming ministers and advisers to co-operate with the president and discharge their duties with dedication. The witches warned former Head of State, Major-General Muhammadu Buhari (retd) to stop wasting his time pursuing the presidency:

“Buhari should stop wasting his time because his time is past. He can never rule the nation again. His time is gone.” The incoming National Assembly will deliver. This is the time Nigerians will know that they have real legislators.
“Some people look at us as if we are evil minded people. Not all witches are bad. Our own type of witchcraft is progressive. We are willing to intervene in the affairs of the country anytime the government decides to seek our counsel. We have the solutions to bring lasting peace to the country. Witches and wizards in the country are ready to help restore Nigeria’s lost glory.

“We saw June 12 crisis long before it happened and we warned the late Chief M.K.O. Abiola but he ignored us. Abiola would have been Nigeria’s president but some of us decided to punish him over the role he played in scuttling the late Chief Obafemi Awolowo presidential ambition. We warned him not to waste his time and life. This was reported in some national dailies. We also dealt with the late General Sani Abacha for the execution of the late Ken Saro-Wiwa.”



TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; Government; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: africa; napl; nigeria; witchcraft; witches
He said it was revealed to the witches as far back as last year that no other candidate except Jonathan would rule the nation. The association which also predicted the failure of both former military president Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida and vice president Atiku Abubakar in their presidential quests also disclosed that Jonathan would serve his four-year tenure at the end of which Nigerians would be begging him to go for another term because he has been chosen by God to lead the nation.

I see that the Obamabots have gone to Nigeria.  Some of them, anyway.

1 posted on 05/27/2011 11:58:22 PM PDT by Stoat
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Slings and Arrows; martin_fierro; All
Yes, OF COURSE the Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria has a Facebook page.

 

Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria (WITZAN) Facebook

 

2 posted on 05/27/2011 11:59:23 PM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Stoat

“Witches and wizards in the country are ready to help restore Nigeria’s lost glory.”

???????????????????????????????


3 posted on 05/28/2011 12:01:54 AM PDT by ZULU (Lindsey Graham is a nanometrical pustule of pusillanimous putrescence)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Stoat

Bah, they did the same thing for Obama’s inauguration
and left the streets littered with discarded Dick
Cheney dolls.


4 posted on 05/28/2011 12:10:21 AM PDT by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 21stCenturion; 75thOVI; Abathar; alarm rider; albee; Alice au Wonderland; Amityschild; ...
The Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria (WITZAN)

INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH
HUMOR

>> PING <<
No amateurs, please.
Send FReepmail if you want on/off ISHP list
The List of Ping Lists

They're part of the Green Party.

5 posted on 05/28/2011 12:10:49 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ZULU
“Witches and wizards in the country are ready to help restore Nigeria’s lost glory.”

???????????????????????????????

 

I'm guessing that any lost glory may be tied to bombs being thrown all over places.

 

Iboi, however, disclosed that the nation would soon have a respite from the people currently throwing bombs all over the places as they would be exposed:“We are going to expose those sponsoring bomb blasts in the country after May 29. They have been caged already. We are going to use our power to cause them to come out and confess their misdeeds. Nigerians would be surprised at how the saboteurs would be exposed.”

6 posted on 05/28/2011 12:11:30 AM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro

Throw some water on that witch and see what happens.


7 posted on 05/28/2011 12:12:14 AM PDT by eyedigress ((Old storm chaser from the west)?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Stoat; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
Now we know what Helen Thomas is doing this weekend.


8 posted on 05/28/2011 12:19:39 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Slings and Arrows

Do you know what Hillary’s call sign was when she went to Iraq as a Senator?

Broomstick 1.

She and Helen must be having a meet up. lol


9 posted on 05/28/2011 12:30:21 AM PDT by dixiechick2000 (Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery always overcome youth and arrogance!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: tet68; All
Bah, they did the same thing for Obama’s inauguration
and left the streets littered with discarded Dick
Cheney dolls.

 

 

President Obama poses with Nigeria's acting president, Goodluck Jonathan (l.), upon the latter's arrival at the nuclear security summit in Washington Monday.

Jason Reed/Reuters

 

 

Nigeria's president Goodluck Jonathan vows to hold clean elections - CSMonitor.com

 

Jonathan, who was in Washington for an international summit on nuclear security, is running Nigeria while the health of President Umaru Yar'Adua remains a closely kept secret. Yar'Adua, who hasn't made a public appearance in several months, reportedly is stricken by a debilitating heart condition that's required multiple hospitalizations.

 

Ummmm...PLEASE reassure me that Nigeria doesn't have nukes.

Oh Lawdy.......

 

 

 


10 posted on 05/28/2011 12:31:00 AM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Stoat

Alrighty then.


11 posted on 05/28/2011 12:58:05 AM PDT by FredZarguna ("It looks just like a Telefunken U47.....with leather.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Stoat

...not playing quidditch, that’s for sure. Parents, lock up your albino children.


12 posted on 05/28/2011 12:58:46 AM PDT by OldNewYork
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Stoat

It’s magic


13 posted on 05/28/2011 1:08:03 AM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Hawk)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Stoat

Goodluck is having badluck.

Anyhow, if these witches and wizards can hurl genuine whammies, what do they need nuclear weapons for?


14 posted on 05/28/2011 1:09:47 AM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Hawk)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Stoat

He looks a bubble off of level . . .


15 posted on 05/28/2011 1:36:16 AM PDT by Psalm 144 (Voodoo Republicans: Don't read their lips - watch their hands.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: dixiechick2000

Throw in Nancy Pelosi and they can start their own coven.


16 posted on 05/28/2011 1:47:48 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Stoat

They have a big lobby.....albeit made if mud.


17 posted on 05/28/2011 1:49:07 AM PDT by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Stoat
"Witches deploy 500 members" "Witches deploy 500 members" "The Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria (WITZAN), has deployed 500 witches"

I wish you wouldn't make me read you repeating yourself.

18 posted on 05/28/2011 3:18:16 AM PDT by conservativeimage.com ("Uh, let me be clear. Uh." - President Barack Obama)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Slings and Arrows

Oh yeah and the Libs keep telling us “Culture is just relative”...We are hassled by stone age thugs like the african tribes and Muslims and I am supposed to believe that they are on an equal par with the civilized west?

It took us thousands of years to progress and now we can’t just blow these ‘primitives” away when they harrass us?


19 posted on 05/28/2011 4:46:40 AM PDT by Recovering Ex-hippie (where is the Great Santini when we need him??)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro
They're part of the Green Party.

Excellent!

You've met my ex???

20 posted on 05/28/2011 5:04:31 AM PDT by null and void (We are now in day 856 of our national holiday from reality. - Obama really isn't one of us)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Recovering Ex-hippie

Like America has a shortage of witches?


21 posted on 05/28/2011 5:10:44 AM PDT by null and void (We are now in day 856 of our national holiday from reality. - Obama really isn't one of us)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: HiTech RedNeck
Anyhow, if these witches and wizards can hurl genuine whammies, what do they need nuclear weapons for?

1) ICBMs are a ranged attack

2) They have far more hit points across all categories.

Cheers!

22 posted on 05/28/2011 5:28:50 AM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: ZULU

Nigeria. Witchcraft noted.


23 posted on 05/28/2011 7:10:10 AM PDT by OpenSourceEye
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: FredZarguna
Alrighty then.

 dog humor doghatesyou

 

Witchcraft is everywhere.

24 posted on 05/28/2011 8:34:30 AM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: OldNewYork
...not playing quidditch, that’s for sure. Parents, lock up your albino children.

 

Indeed, there are many parts of the world where people are determined to remain ignorant and there are massive organizations in place to ensure that remains the case.

Here in the USA it's called "The Democrat Party"

BBC News - Death for Tanzania albino killers

25 posted on 05/28/2011 8:48:27 AM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: HiTech RedNeck
It’s magic

 


26 posted on 05/28/2011 8:51:37 AM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Stoat; Daffynition; bigheadfred

Ping to post #24.


27 posted on 05/28/2011 8:55:51 AM PDT by Silentgypsy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: HiTech RedNeck
Anyhow, if these witches and wizards can hurl genuine whammies, what do they need nuclear weapons for?

 

I'm confident that mermaids are involved with this matter in some capacity.  The answer lies with them.

 

Zim Bogus traditional healer held (Told woman to hire mermaids, use bull 'privates' to find car)

28 posted on 05/28/2011 8:57:56 AM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Psalm 144
He looks a bubble off of level . . .

 Photobucket

29 posted on 05/28/2011 9:08:25 AM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: Squantos
They have a big lobby.....albeit made if mud.

  Photobucket

30 posted on 05/28/2011 9:18:13 AM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: Silentgypsy
HAHAHA! Great stuff!


31 posted on 05/28/2011 9:33:07 AM PDT by Daffynition ("Don't just live your life, but witness it also.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: Stoat

32 posted on 05/28/2011 9:34:57 AM PDT by Daffynition ("Don't just live your life, but witness it also.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: Stoat; Darksheare
I'm guessing that any lost glory may be tied to bombs being thrown all over places.

Personally, I do not like people who throw bombs all over the places. I am very pleased that wizards and witches are going to use their power to cause them to come out and confess their misdeeds.

After they confess, we should make them drink Darksheare's coffee.

33 posted on 05/28/2011 9:54:52 AM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Daffynition

Horrendiomatous giggle attack! (You are SOOOO reliable!)


34 posted on 05/28/2011 10:19:23 AM PDT by Silentgypsy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: Grizzled Bear; Stoat

“Just drink this, and all will be forgiven.. *Breaks off into evil laugh*”


35 posted on 05/28/2011 11:28:48 AM PDT by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: Slings and Arrows

Witches protecting Jonathan? Cool.


36 posted on 05/28/2011 1:18:26 PM PDT by TheOldLady
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: TheOldLady

And wizards.


37 posted on 05/28/2011 1:31:48 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein. [Free Lazamataz!])
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: TheOldLady

Witches are over rated.


38 posted on 05/28/2011 1:39:49 PM PDT by humblegunner (Free Lazamataz!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: Grizzled Bear
Personally, I do not like people who throw bombs all over the places.

Uhhh...

Sometimes it's done responsibly and in a controlled environment. Just sayin'... ;-)

39 posted on 05/28/2011 1:41:55 PM PDT by humblegunner (Free Lazamataz!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: humblegunner; Grizzled Bear
Sometimes it's done responsibly and in a controlled environment. Just sayin'... ;-)

Grizzled Bear has lived in that place where they do it just to be a-holes and their aim sucks.

I think GB would like our explosive gatherings. Much friendlier and definitely better managed.

("Duck behind the propane tank, kids!")

40 posted on 05/28/2011 2:45:18 PM PDT by Allegra (Hey! Stop looking at my tagline like that.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: Allegra

The jerks use improvised timers to launch their artillery; that makes it hard to reciprocate!


41 posted on 05/28/2011 3:00:02 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 40 | View Replies]

To: Daffynition

I absolutely need a cat like that.


42 posted on 05/28/2011 9:56:53 PM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: Grizzled Bear; Darksheare
I'm guessing that any lost glory may be tied to bombs being thrown all over places.

Personally, I do not like people who throw bombs all over the places. I am very pleased that wizards and witches are going to use their power to cause them to come out and confess their misdeeds.

After they confess, we should make them drink Darksheare's coffee.

---------------------------------------------------------

Nigerians would be surprised at how the saboteurs would be exposed.

 

I would suggest that if Nigerians were to drink Darksheare's coffee, some decidedly odd results may transpire.  I regret that I cannot be held accountable in such a circumstance.

 


43 posted on 05/28/2011 10:17:43 PM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: Darksheare; Grizzled Bear
“Just drink this, and all will be forgiven.. *Breaks off into evil laugh*”

 

hmmmm...quite tasty, and with a pleasant after-kick.

Strange...... I suddenly feel compelled to assist a former Nigerian diplomat with a secretive yet extremely important pecuniary matter involving the transfer of several million dollars to my bank account.  It appears to be entirely legitimate and I stand to make a tidy sum.  My that coffee is good, may I have some more?

;-)

44 posted on 05/28/2011 11:19:47 PM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: Slings and Arrows

Start their own coven? You mean they haven’t already?


45 posted on 05/29/2011 12:21:24 AM PDT by dixiechick2000 (Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery always overcome youth and arrogance!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: dixiechick2000

Good question.


46 posted on 05/29/2011 12:29:13 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein. [Free Lazamataz!])
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 45 | View Replies]

To: Slings and Arrows

I know. I’m smart. lol


47 posted on 05/29/2011 12:31:35 AM PDT by dixiechick2000 (Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery always overcome youth and arrogance!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 46 | View Replies]

To: Silentgypsy
You meant *predictable*, right? >;D


48 posted on 05/29/2011 5:48:59 AM PDT by Daffynition ("Don't just live your life, but witness it also.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 34 | View Replies]

To: Stoat; Grizzled Bear

I was wondering about what would happen if the local wildlife were to accidentally on purpose imbibe some of the stuff during the gathering.


49 posted on 05/29/2011 11:56:39 AM PDT by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson